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Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy. Proverbs 14:10
An old Native American saying goes something like this: “Never judge a man until you have walked two miles in his moccasins.” This saying should be the battle cry of each of us as we travel life’s journey. We should think twice, or even three times before we judge the attitudes and actions of other people. We may not like what we see. We may disagree completely with their response to events in their lives. But we should never make a judgment about why they are doing what they do.
God wired each of us differently. Parents know this. What other explanation is there for the way their children grow up? Two lives brought into the world by the same parents. Both have the same opportunities. Both have the same background experiences. Yet one child will grow up angry and the other patient and kind; one child will be a people person while the other is more of a social misfit; One will follow the rules while the other will seek every chance they get to break them; one will love and serve God while the other will reject faith.
No one reacts the same exact way to any situation. Yet we tend to expect that of people. If God works one way in your life, you expect Him to work the same way in someone else’s life. You may enjoy working with your hands while someone else enjoys office work or computer work. Is one better than the other? Is one more rewarding? To you maybe, but not to someone else.
Proverbs 14:10 reminds us of two great truths for Christ-followers. First of all, take great care in how you respond or react to someone’s actions or attitudes. You may see them as being inappropriate and they may be. But until you know the whole story, don’t assume you know the reason someone acts the way they do.
Secondly, remember that God knows your heart. Just as He expects us to be patient and understanding with those around us, He is patient and understanding towards us. He knows, better than anyone else, why you are struggling with whatever issue is troubling you today. He understands and desires to come close to you so that he can love you and encourage you.
There is a third lesson to learn from this proverb. The last phrase says: “no one else can share its joy”. There will be times when people will fail to understand why you are so happy. They may try to dispel that joy by pointing out the darkness and turmoil around you. Don’t allow them to keep you from living a life full of happiness and fulfillment. Joy isn’t about surroundings and circumstances. Joy is about inner peace that is only received through a relationship with Jesus Christ.
Your Heavenly Father loves you. Others will say they understand you, but God really does understand you. His sincere and passionate desire is for relationship with you. Don’t let others rob you of all that God has for you. Focus on Him. Your troubles may not disappear, but the inner peace you gain through Jesus will empower you through life’s distress.
PRAYER: Dear God. There are so many people telling me how I should feel. They tell me they understand, but they don’t. They aren’t even close. I thank and praise you for the truth that you do love me and understand me. You look on my heart and see my every emotion. You understand why I am the way I am. Guard me from losing the joy that I have in you. Protect me from those who want to rob me of my joy. Amen.
My guilt has overwhelmed me like a burden too heavy to bear. Psalm 38:4
Next to anger, guilt is perhaps the greatest crippler of all time. When you consider the fact that fear can often be caused by guilt that only adds to the drama! Guilt comes into our lives when we feel ashamed for an action that we’ve done. Sometimes that guilt is ‘warranted’ because we all make mistakes. Sometimes that guilt comes from the accusations of others. Even if we are innocent of the accusation we can feel guilty about it.
People try to deal with guilt in a variety of ways in order to ease the pain. Some try to ignore the guilt and pretend that whatever it is that makes us feel guilty never really happened. That’s called denial. If I ignore my guilt long enough it will be less painful. That’s not really true, but we believe the lie. Suppressing guilt only keeps it at bay for a time. Eventually it comes back with vengeance.
Others try to deal with guilt by soothing it with a variety of things like new relationships, new toys, new jobs or surroundings. We focus on external things in order to try to ignore the internal pain we feel. When we tire of the old things we simply replace them with new in hopes that we will be satisfied. Using denial and external things to try to cover up guilt never work.
Sometimes people use the ‘blame game’ to deal with their guilt. “Yes, I did that but if he/she hadn’t done this, or if she/he HAD done that, I wouldn’t have done what I did.” Placing blame on others takes the attention off of me and puts it on others. It’s like creating a diversion. The problem with this is that people eventually see though our antics and we end up being the only one that believes our story. People who use the blame game seldom realize that they are the main problem in the healing process.
Following ‘social trends’ rather than God’s Word can also be used to cover guilt. “Everyone else is doing it so it must be okay.” We surround ourselves with people who, like us, haven’t dealt with their guilt. Since they appear to be comfortable in what they do we feel comfortable as well. There is sort of a comfort in mutual misery.
Even religion can be used to cover guilt. We do something wrong and go to God for forgiveness. He willingly forgives us of all our sins. However, we feel so bad about what we have done that we try to do ‘things’ to cover the pain. These can be very good things like church attendance, Bible Studies, volunteering, even being in ministry to try to cover the shame and guilt of our sin. When we struggle with a recurring sin we tend to increase our ‘religious activity’ to deal with the pain. Nothing relieves that pain though and so we revert to the blame game. “It’s not working. It must be Gods fault, or the churches fault, or the fault of those so-called Christians.”
There is nothing you can do to free yourself of the weight of guilt you carry. The longer you carry it the heavier it grows. The more things you try to remove the guilt from your life the heavier your burden grows. The more you regret the more you fret. Sometimes people are so weighed down by the burden of trying to remove the guilt from their lives that they become physically, emotionally or mentally ill. Some even commit suicide to try to remove the pain.
Jesus has the answer to your guilt and the burden you carry. It’s not found in religion. It’s not found in church. It’s not found in relationships, toys or activity. Freedom from guilt comes through Jesus alone and the grace He offers. Hebrews 10:22 says “let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.”
Jesus not only cleanses the sin, he wants to cleanse the feelings of guilt you carry. Satan and others will want to try to continually remind you of your past mistakes. Tell them that Jesus took care of that on the cross. When guilt attacks take it directly to Jesus. Let Him remind you that YOU ARE FORGIVEN. No questions. No second thoughts. NO MORE BLAME. Say to yourself, ‘Because of Jesus I am not only forgiven of my sin, I am cleansed of my guilt. I will no longer allow guilt to control me and weigh me down. I AM FREE.’
PRAYER: Dear Jesus. I thank you that you look on my heart and not on my actions. I am so sorry for the pain I’ve caused myself, others and you. I’ve made decisions that continue to be hurtful. I continue to struggle with sin. My guilt is ever before me. I ask that once and for all you search my heart and reveal any unconfessed sin. Then I pray that you not only forgive me of my sin, but that you cleanse my guilty conscience. Empower me to live free of guilt regardless of the number of times other people try to remind me of my past. From this day forward I resolve to rely on you to free me from guilt. Amen.
Mike Fisk & Built with Grace 