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Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. Romans 13:10
It’s the difference between religion and relationship. It’s the difference between peaceful living and stress. It’s the difference between holiness and sinfulness. It’s the difference between abuse and encouragement. It’s the difference between prison and freedom. It’s the difference between fear and courage. It’s the difference between defeat and confidence. It’s love.
Love excites us, brings peace into our lives, cures us of the addiction to sin, encourages us, frees us to be ourselves, gives us courage to survive attack and confidence to use the gifts we have to better the world around us.
In the Old Testament God gave his people all sorts of rules and regulations to show them how to live lives free of all the bad stuff life throws our way. Never forget, when He created Adam and Eve in the garden, He never intended that they be separated from Him. Their sin in the garden destroyed everything. God created us in His image to enjoy life, to enjoy love, to enjoy each other.
The Bible says Adam and Eve were naked and unashamed. That wasn’t just physical nakedness; it was emotional and spiritual nakedness as well. The underlying power of their lives was love, the love of the creator-God to them and their love for Him in return.
Then ‘sin’ got in the way. Sin is really just another way of saying ‘getting what I want in my way’. When sin entered, our relationship with God, ourselves and others was forever changed. There was only one thing that could rescue us from the emptiness and pain of life: LOVE.
True love, Godly love never ever hurts. Period. There are so many things that get in our way, that keep love from showing itself. People get in the way by abusing us for their own selfish purposes. Our past keeps us from enjoying the forgiveness that only Jesus offers. Religion keeps us from enjoying the freedom of enjoying all that God has given us. None of these things are powered by love.
Jesus didn’t come into the world to condemn us or to accuse us or to remind us of all our faults. That job is reserved for religion. Jesus came to love us, just as we are, where we are, regardless of our propensity to rebel against Him.
Don’t try to truly love your neighbor or your enemy until you have learned how to love God and yourself. It won’t happen. Only when we are completely enveloped by a love for God and ourselves will love flow to those around us. When that happens, when we learn to love God and ourselves, love for the other people in our lives, even those who hate us and hurt us, will be a natural result, not a forced action.
PRAYER: Father. I thank you today for your unconditional, unending and undeserved love. I confess to you that the love I’ve learned in life hasn’t been all that great. It’s brought pain, shame, guilt and remorse. I need to learn to love you and myself so I can be free to love others. I’ve hurt so many people in my life and now I resolve to love them your way through the power of your Holy Spirit. Amen.
“But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. Luke 6:27-28
A couple weeks ago we went to a local apple orchard on our fall run to pick some fresh, crisp apples. As we were walking through the rows and rows of trees our conversation turned to the many types of apples there are. Some are sweet, some tart; some soft, some hard; some are good for eating right off the tree, others are better for pies, baking and apple sauce. Amazing the choices we have and there are new varieties coming out every year.
Enemies are like apples in a sense. There are all sorts of them out there. There are enemies a half a world away that we hear about on the news. We shake our heads at them and perhaps our fists. We pray for them, but for most of us, our prayers are vague, general voices of concern for people we’ve never met, and based on fear of our own safety and freedom.
There are the enemies based in the political arena, whether that is church politics or government. Again, we’ve never seen them but the choices they make directly, or indirectly affect our comfort and from time to time attack our convictions.
There is the unseen enemy of course. Satan, or one of his ugly cohorts, lurks behind every corner waiting to through darts of worry, temptation, judgmental, anger or a whole host of lies at us. Lies about our self-worth; lies about our God; lies about other people.
Perhaps the biggest enemy each of us faces every day is the enemy next door. I don’t mean your physical neighbor, but those who are closest to you emotionally. The child that no longer sees it necessary to follow your faith; the spouse who neglects, abuses or abandoned you, the boss who never sees anything you do as worthwhile. The friend or family member that misunderstands you, accuses you or makes you feel worthless. The parent who has never ever been there for you but now has all this advice to give you, advice you don’t need or want.
These enemies hurt the worst because, if we let them, they determine who we are, how we feel about ourselves and what God is like. They are the closest ones to us emotionally and can destroy us in a heartbeat with a flippant word, sarcasm or open attack.
It’s also these enemies that Jesus talked about on the hillside that day. He wasn’t telling the people to love some system that caused them pain. He was talking about the people we rub shoulders with every day. The ones that hurt us constantly. The people who, when we see them, cause the lump to form in your gut.
So, how can we do that? How can we love that person who hates the ground we walk on? How can we love that person who once professed to love us but has now turned their back on us? What Jesus is really commanding us to do is to counter every negative action directed towards us with a positive action. Sometimes that may mean that even though we have to remove ourselves from a harmful situation, we still refuse to speak evil of the person who attacked us. Sometimes it may mean praying a prayer that says, “God, I am supposed to pray for them but I’m so full of hurt right now I can’t. Help me.” I believe God honors the honest prayer of helplessness when we have to deal with the painful enemies of our heart.
I have to confess that the idea of being kind to people who have openly, intentionally and willfully attacked me isn’t pleasant. In fact, I struggle to do that. This is perhaps the hardest part of the Christian life, to love those in my circle who refuse to love back. So, how do we do it? Here are some suggestions from a person who has not yet attained.
- Remember that God DOES love you and understands how hard it is to love people who reject and hurt you. People do it to Him every day and since we are made in His image that means He feels that pain as well.
- Remember that God also created the ‘jerks’ of the world and His desire it to bring them to Himself, just as He did you.
- Remember that God realizes that you can’t do this on your own. It’s a process and requires that we lean heavily on the power of the Holy Spirit to help us.
- Lastly, Remember that we are told to love our enemies and as much as possible live at peace with them. Loving our enemies doesn’t necessarily mean we trust and live in relationship with those who have abused us physically, spiritually or emotionally.
PRAYER: Heavenly Father. I’m hurt. The hurt that I feel right now is the result of people who I thought I could trust who have turned on me. They are family members, friends, former lovers and/or even my own children. I feel completely alone and misunderstood here. Still, because of Jesus in my life I want to do as you’ve commanded. I want to love my enemies through the power of your Holy Spirit. Please help me have the wisdom and strength to love those nearest to me. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.
See that no one pays back evil for evil, but always try to do good to each other and to all people. 1 Thessalonians 5:15
‘I don’t get mad, I get even!’. We hear it said, or even say it all the time. Most of the time it’s meant in jest, but if we are honest, there are many times we get even when we’ve been hurt or offended. There are a variety of subtle and not-so-subtle ways of retaliation, but all have the same goal, to make sure the other person ‘pays’ for hurting us or crossing us.
Getting even is usually counter-productive. We are hurt by others so we hurt others in hopes of making our pain less. I’m not trying to minimize the pain of being attacked. Whether the attack is physical or emotional, the pain can be unbearable. Sometimes I think the emotional pain is worse because it leaves no visible bruises and we suffer alone.
It may be hard to admit it to ourselves, but many times our desire to ‘get even’ is a result of our own self-image. When we’re attacked, the enemy likes to whisper in our ear and tell us we are unworthy, unlovely, ugly, fat, stupid, weak and a whole list of other lies. The enemy loves to get us to think badly of ourselves so that we forget who we really are. We are children of the King!
Retaliation almost always leads to a negative spiral. You hurt me so I hurt you so you hurt me so I hurt you…and on and on. Many marriages and other relationships are destroyed because no one steps out of the circle.
When Christ-followers are involved in a negative spiral it shows the world that we are no different than they are. We talk of love and forgiveness but show none! In fact, sometimes the ‘evil sinners’ of the world are far kinder and forgiving than those of us who call ourselves Christians.
Paul writes to the church in Thessalonica and reminds them that retaliation (paying back evil for evil) should never be a part of the body of Christ. Rather, we are to do good to each other. This should be the defining mark of every church. People may not always agree with our stands on issues, but they should never question our love for each other and for them.
There’s an old Christian song that says “We are one in the Spirit….they will know we are Christians by our love’. If we are to impact our corner of the world for Jesus this should be our way of life. We will be hurt and offended. We will be attacked and misunderstood. We’ll be lied about. Our response should always be one of kindness even in situations where we have to separate us from our attacker because of the physical/emotional damage they have done to us.
Remember this. You are loved by God. He made you just as you are. If God had a chance to make you over again, He’d make you the same way that you are now! Let Him handle the crabby customer at work, the jerky driver on the interstate, the know-it-all gossip at your church. Rely on the Holy Spirit to empower you to show kindness and wisdom every time you are attacked. In this way, the world will know what it means to have the love of Jesus in our lives.
PRAYER: Father, I confess to you that it’s far easier for me to retaliate than to react with love, kindness and forgiveness. I’m ashamed to admit that I’m harder on my ‘Christian’ friends than I am on the ‘evil sinners’ I pray for each day. When someone hurts me, remind me that I’m yours. Empower me to remove myself from danger and rely on you for justice. Anoint my wounds with the healing oil of your love. If there is anyone to whom I should ask forgiveness please show them to me today. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Luke 6:38
Have you ever noticed how different ice cream shops define “1 scoop”? I’m not making a statement in judgment upon these important establishments of our culture. I have many friends in the ice cream business and in no way intend to offend them.
However, when I’m in a new town I always like to check out the ice cream shop. Some places use a large scoop to dish up their irresistible treats. Some use a small scoop. There’s one place in northern Wisconsin where I suggest that unless you are dying and this is your last dish of ice cream, you only order 1 scoop. Ever! This place (and I’ll let you try to discover it on your own!) defines ‘1 scoop’ the way most places define 2 or 3 scoops! It’s amazing and it’s made right in the shop so it’s nice and fresh and creamy.
We were camping at a campground where they had a small ice cream counter. The owner was a friend and usually dished up ice cream for us. One day, one of her employees dished up the ice cream and it was about 1/3 the size of what we usually got. We didn’t complain or say anything (except thank you) and went outside to enjoy our bedtime snack. Our friend came and sat with us. She looked at the ice cream bowls we had and was shocked. “Is that all she gave you? That won’t do!” she exclaimed. She took our bowls back into the building and came out with new ones heaped high with ice cream! We were so sad when she sold her campground.
That is God’s picture of generosity. God’s version of generosity has no regard for industry standards. His generosity is based on His love for us and nothing else, not our past, not our ability to repay, sometimes not even our gratitude. He just keeps blessing us.
I wonder if that’s what Jesus was thinking of when he talked about generosity, giving to the fullest measure, not holding back, not deciding if giving should be based on the other person’s ability to repay in some way.
As Christ-followers we need to be givers. We are the light of the world. We are the salt in our society. We should never allow ourselves to be out-given by those who don’t follow Christ. When Jesus speaks of giving I’m not so sure He’s only talking about financial gifts. We can give with our actions, we can give a little more of a tip to lousy service at the local restraint, we can give by helping a neighbor in need or a brother that is in a struggle. Giving isn’t just about the material things. Sometimes the emotional gifts are the most memorable.
Give as Jesus would give. Today, resolve to show the world God’s definition of generosity. Do what you can to make sure that whoever you touch today goes home with a full bowl!
PRAYER: Dear Jesus, I ask that you would help me to learn how to live a life of generosity according to your example. There are so many people who are hurting around me. So many times I’ve been so conscious of my own pain that I’ve failed to notice the pain of others. Empower me by your Spirit to give far and above what is expected of me because I choose to follow you. In your name I pray, Amen.
Mike Fisk & Built with Grace 