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And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel.” Genesis 3:15 (NIV)
Conflict is inevitable. You probably didn’t need to have someone tell you that! From the beginning of time conflict has been a part of human existence. It’s not ‘IF’ you will experience conflict but when you experience conflict and how you deal with it that matters.
Conflict is defined as, “The competitive or opposing action of incompatibles; an antagonistic state or action (as of divergent ideas, interests, or persons).”
From a human perspective, conflict had its origins in the Garden of Eden. The first person to experience conflict was Eve. The serpent (Satan) not only questioned her regarding God’s commands, he brought conflict into her mind. For perhaps the first time she was faced with opposing viewpoints. Up to this time we can only surmise that obedience (based on a passionate love relationship with her creator) was unquestioned. When you begin to question God, you leave room for conflict.
The next significant act of conflict wasn’t with God, but with fellow man. In an act of jealous rage, Cain killed his brother Abel. The rest is, as they say, history. Conflict, whether between men or men with God really has the same motivating force: the desire for peace within our soul. We may be led to believe the lie that the hunger for peace in our soul can be quenched by new relationships, new career paths or a bigger bank account. We may try to drown the pain of that hole by chemicals or religious experience, but until our hearts are right with God, nothing will work.
Now for the good news. Your heavenly Father wants to restore the lost relationship. Colossians 1:19-20 states, “For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.”
What this means is that through Jesus Christ, God wants to restore the relationship we lost in the garden. Furthermore, Philippians 4:7 reminds us that “the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Jesus Christ opens the path to a new, vibrant relationship with God. When that happens and we grow to completeness through Christ, his peace will guard our soul, our emotions, or feelings. It will work towards conquering the fear, worry, anger, hate and frustration of human conflict.
Will making our relationship with God cure our human conflicts? Unfortunately not. But having a right relationship with God opens the door to healthier relationships as we learn to lean on him and trust him with our hearts.
Let the peace of Jesus calm you as you grow in relationship to him. Daily give him control of your relationships so he can protect your soul from the attacks of conflict. May the following prayer empower you to peace in the midst of conflict.
PRAYER: Father God. I thank you for the restoration of a love relationship I can have with you through Jesus Christ. Empower me to rest on you in the midst of the human conflict I am facing. May the peace only Jesus can offer strengthen me. Amen.
A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends. Proverbs 16:28 (NLT)
It can start harmlessly enough. A word of concern here. A sarcastic comment there. It can be couched in a spiritual sense as a prayer request. It can be intentional or unintentional. Regardless of intent or type, once planted the seed germinates. It finds new ears that will listen; fertile soil of discontent.
The ‘troublemaker’ of Proverbs 16:28 conjures up the word picture of a sower spreading his seed. Unlike farmers of today, the seed wasn’t planted in neat rows and evenly spaced. It was thrown, strewn across the ground in a somewhat haphazard manner. Some fell on hard ground and was became a hungry birds breakfast. Others landed in rocky or weed choked ground and was soon forgotten because it was overwhelmed by what was already there. But the seed that landed on ground willing to accept it found a home in which to grow.
Jesus talks about the ‘Sower and the seed’. Every sermon I’ve heard (or preached myself) on the topic teaches us the importance of being fertile soil for good seed. But what if the sower is sowing seed of discontent, gossip, anger or hate? The meaning of that story was the importance of being fertile ground for God’s word to make a fruitful difference in our lives.
Unfortunately, the opposite is also true. We can be fertile ground for the peace-breakers in our lives. Peace-breakers are those people who seem to be able to find something wrong with everyone and everything. They can label their words as spiritual concern, but they really destroy peace and relationships.
Jesus said: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)
Conflict in relationships is inevitable. We have different likes and dislikes; we see things from different perspectives; we have different backgrounds to base our feelings on. When conflict comes into your life it is important to handle it in a way that doesn’t destroy people, even if they have hurt you. Be a peace-maker, not a peace-breaker.
When you have a conflict with someone make sure that you deal with the person you are in conflict with. Don’t sow seeds of frustration over the incident with those around you. Even if you resolve that conflict, the seed sown in fertile soil will continue to grow.
When a sower of ‘discontent’ tosses seed your way be so full of the Holy Spirit that those words find no landing place. Don’t allow the peace-breaker to change your opinion of others.
Most of the conflict we have in the church is over trivial matters in regards to eternity. People argue over the ‘correct version’ of the Bible, or the ‘best music’ for worship and the list goes on and on. Jesus calls us to peace so that the world can know his peace through us.
PRAYER: Lord Jesus, forgive us for the times we’ve acted as peace-breakers and not peace-makers. Forgive us for the times we’ve been fertile ground for seeds of discontent or for those times we’ve been ‘sowers’ of discontent. Help us show the world the peace you’ve promised us. Amen.
God blesses those people who make peace. They will be called his children! Matthew 5:9 (CEV)
It was a stupid thing to say and just plain wrong. It was one of those situations where you wish you could just grab the word bubble and pull it back into your mouth and pretend it never happened. Of course, it didn’t work that way. In my stupid attempt to be funny I offended a dear friend. She stormed away, hurt, humiliated and angry…for good reason, I might add.
A mutual friend came to me a few days later and told me she’d talked to him about the things I’d said to Mindy (not her real name). It was slightly embellished, but for the most part accurate. I was embarrassed and ashamed. The situation wasn’t made any easier by the fact that we were mutual friends and were together often in social situations. Mindy would see me and move to an opposite side of the room. I tried on a few occasions to apologize, but she had nothing to do with it.
There’s an old saying, “Two wrongs don’t make a right”. Mindy and my situation was living proof of that adage. I was wrong for what I said. Her refusal to listen to my apology or forgive me wasn’t appropriate either. It was just as stupid and immature as the words I spoke to start the whole situation.
After several weeks, our mutual friend approached me. He’d been watching from the sidelines and had frankly seen enough. “Something has to be done to resolve this”, he told me one day as we met for coffee. I agreed and shared how I’d tried on several occasions to reconcile, but to no avail.
Dan, our mutual friend, decided that if reconciliation was going to happen it would have to be done with a mediator. He approached Mindy and she seemed more than willing for the three of us to meet together. We met at our church in a conference room. Dan read from Matthew on the importance of forgiving a brother when he sins. Then it was my turn. I told Mindy (again) how sorry I was for my words, that they were stupid and just plain un-Christian. I asked her (again) to forgive me. To my surprise she did! We talked. We hugged. Our friendship became much closer than it ever had before.
There could be all sorts of things that could be said about my flippancy or Mindy’s immaturity. The reality is, Jesus calls us to relationship with one another and he calls us to be peacemakers. Dan exemplified what Jesus meant in Matthew 5:9. He didn’t make judgments about who was right or wrong. He didn’t take sides or wait ‘for time to heal us’.
What he did was to put himself in the vulnerable position of peacemaker. Each of us is called to do the same. When a brother or sister in Christ is in conflict we are called to do what we can to reconcile ‘warring factions’. God’s word, patience, wisdom, prayer and love are the tools in our arsenal.
PRAYER: Lord Jesus, help us as your children to be actively involved in the lives of others so that we can act as peacemakers when conflict arises. Give us courage to act, wisdom to know how, grace to accept those times when reconciliation attempts fail. Amen.
5/15/2013
When a brother or sister in Christ is in conflict we are called to do what we can to reconcile ‘warring factions’. Matthew 5:9
God blesses those people who make peace. They will be called his children! Matthew 5:9 (CEV)
It was a stupid thing to say and just plain wrong. It was one of those situations where you wish you could just grab the word bubble and pull it back into your mouth and pretend it never happened. Of course, it didn’t work that way. In my stupid attempt to be funny I offended a dear friend. She stormed away, hurt, humiliated and angry…for good reason, I might add.
A mutual friend came to me a few days later and told me she’d talked to him about the things I’d said to Mindy (not her real name). It was slightly embellished, but for the most part accurate. I was embarrassed and ashamed. The situation wasn’t made any easier by the fact that we were mutual friends and were together often in social situations. Mindy would see me and move to an opposite side of the room. I tried on a few occasions to apologize, but she had nothing to do with it.
There’s an old saying, “Two wrongs don’t make a right”. Mindy and my situation was living proof of that adage. I was wrong for what I said. Her refusal to listen to my apology or forgive me wasn’t appropriate either. It was just as stupid and immature as the words I spoke to start the whole situation.
After several weeks, our mutual friend approached me. He’d been watching from the sidelines and had frankly seen enough. “Something has to be done to resolve this”, he told me one day as we met for coffee. I agreed and shared how I’d tried on several occasions to reconcile, but to no avail.
Dan, our mutual friend, decided that if reconciliation was going to happen it would have to be done with a mediator. He approached Mindy and she seemed more than willing for the three of us to meet together. We met at our church in a conference room. Dan read from Matthew on the importance of forgiving a brother when he sins. Then it was my turn. I told Mindy (again) how sorry I was for my words, that they were stupid and just plain un-Christian. I asked her (again) to forgive me. To my surprise she did! We talked. We hugged. Our friendship became much closer than it ever had before.
There could be all sorts of things that could be said about my flippancy or Mindy’s immaturity. The reality is, Jesus calls us to relationship with one another and he calls us to be peacemakers. Dan exemplified what Jesus meant in Matthew 5:9. He didn’t make judgments about who was right or wrong. He didn’t take sides or wait ‘for time to heal us’.
What he did was to put himself in the vulnerable position of peacemaker. Each of us is called to do the same. When a brother or sister in Christ is in conflict we are called to do what we can to reconcile ‘warring factions’. God’s word, patience, wisdom, prayer and love are the tools in our arsenal.
PRAYER: Lord Jesus, help us as your children to be actively involved in the lives of others so that we can act as peacemakers when conflict arises. Give us courage to act, wisdom to know how, grace to accept those times when reconciliation attempts fail. Amen.
To the pure you show yourself pure, but to the wicked you show yourself hostile. 2 Samuel 22:27 (NLT)
We were built for relationship. Our very heart, our very being revolves around how we perceive others feelings towards us, and how we feel about them. When centered on the emotional, relationships rarely focus on facts. It’s feelings that matter. When centered on facts alone, relationships become works centered. What you do to or for me means everything to the relationship. Motives don’t matter, actions do.
One day Jesus healed a man that was born blind and unable to speak. At the touch of his hand, Jesus restored his speech and gave him sight. The man praised God. The people stood amazed and praised God. The Pharisees however; the religious elite; the men who ‘knew the way to God’ better than anyone else, were not only skeptical, they were critical.
“He’s a tool of Satan”, they said. “This is nothing more than blasphemy”, the challenged. “God doesn’t work like this; God has no part in any of this atrocity!”
The gospel writer states “But Jesus knew their thoughts…” (Matthew 11:25)
It wasn’t the accusations that Jesus took issue with, it was their hearts because he knew that thoughts don’t originate on the external, they originate from the heart, from the soul, from the very being of man.
Why the different reaction between the religious establishment and the man who’d been healed? In a word: relationship. Religion is and always will be built on rules and actions. They saw Jesus as a threat to their power, a reason for concern because he would take away their power and status.
“Do this and that will happen; don’t do this or this will happen.”
Relationship heals. Relationship encourages. Relationship makes one better as they leave than they were when they came. The people, especially the blind man saw a different Jesus, a Jesus based on experience, on touch, on relationship.
The blind man knew his hopelessness and saw relief. The Pharisees never grasped the notion that they were sinners. The blind man saw freedom in his release from the bondage of his blindness. The Pharisees saw the healing as a direct confrontation to their power. The blind man saw hope; the Pharisees saw a menace.
The question each of us must ask ourselves is which Jesus do we see? Do we see a Jesus limited by rules and regulations; a Jesus steeped in liturgy and tradition? Or do we see a Jesus who longs to touch us, to heal us, to soothe the pain within our hearts?
Some have shaken their fists figuratively at Jesus because he didn’t meet their needs. They were looking for someone who would cater to their physical desires rather than the needs of the heart. They’ve tried filling the hole with other gods. The gods of relationship, passion, power or any other god of their own choosing. Others have chosen to fill the hole in their relationship by legislation. The more rules we have, the more restrictions we place on ourselves, the more religious we become, and the better we’ll be.
But only Jesus can fill that hole and he fills it with relationship, not rules. Those who follow after him, whose hearts are pure find in him a refuge. Those who refuse to come into relationship with him see him as a menace to their emptiness; a barrier to true freedom.
PRAYER: Father God, it’s so easy to put other gods in your place. Gods that will give me a false sense of holiness, a false feeling of stability. Purify my heart so that you are all that I see. Amen.
Mike Fisk & Built with Grace 