Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” Matthew‬ ‭18‬:‭21

I was wrong. For the millionth time it seems I’d broken a promise. A promise I’d made, and broken, before. I was truly sorry. I had every intention of doing better. I tried to make things right. So, humbly, I asked.

“Will you forgive me? Again?”

Without emotion, or even eye contact, he said, “I have to forgive you. The Bible says so” and walked away.

I knew at that point I wasn’t forgiven. Words mean nothing when the heart isn’t in them.

Forgiveness is hard. Forgiveness to many is weakness. Forgiveness to some means placing yourself back in a toxic, hurtful relationship. Forgiveness to some means condoning the infraction. But forgiveness is also an act of faith and freeing oneself to move on.

Philip Yancey says, in his book ‘The Scandal of Forgiveness’, “By forgiving another, I am trusting that God is a better justice-maker than I am. By forgiving, I release my own right to get even and leave all issues of fairness for God to work out. I leave in God’s hands the scales that must balance justice and mercy. “

We are commanded to forgive, not trust. Forgiveness frees us, but does not require us to continue in a toxic relationship.

Who do you need to free yourself from through forgiveness? It’s a matter of heart. It’s a choice. It doesn’t require anything from the other person, not even their presence or knowledge of your decision.

Grace frees us. Grace opens our lives to power. Grace empowers us to forgive.