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“For the Lord your God is the God of gods and Lord of lords. He is the great God, the mighty and awesome God, who shows no partiality and cannot be bribed. Deuteronomy 10:17 (NLT)
We’ve been doing it since pre-school. Maybe even earlier. It’s one of the most destructive games we’ve ever learned and, perhaps, holds us captive more than any other single activity in our lives. So what is this enemy of our hearts? It’s the Comparison Game.
Come on now, admit it. You play it. You may be playing it now.
As a blogger it’s looking at how many followers you have compared to me, or anyone else for that matter.
If you are in ministry it’s the size of your church, the number of mission’s trips you’ve taken or the number of converts you have tallied up in the flyleaf of your Bible.
If you are a public speaker you may measure it by the number of speaking engagements you’ve had this year, the size the honorarium you get or the largest crowds you’ve spoken to.
If you are a writer it’s the number of published works you have in your arsenal.
The Comparison Game (or whatever you call it) is deadly for our hearts on two fronts. On the one hand, if we are on the upper rungs of the ladder we can tend to look at ourselves more highly than we ought. We’ve never been divorced, we have no debt, we have good kids and are well respected by the community and we get thousands of ‘likes’ on the social media site we belong to. We can get feeling pretty good about ourselves, especially when we see our names in print.
On the other hand, the Comparison Game can make us see ourselves as less than what we are as well. If only I didn’t have debt. If only I had been able to make the marriage work. If only I had the education and opportunities he/she had. If only…if only…if only.
The cure for the Comparison Game is to look at ourselves and at others the way God does. The Apostle Paul was labeled by some as being an ‘also-ran’ in apostolic circles. After all, Peter, James, John and the other apostles had actually walked with Jesus. They saw his miracles and heard his teachings first hand. Paul, on the other hand had spent a good part of his life trying to stomp out this new ‘WAY’. But he walks into Jerusalem with his head held high. Why? Because he didn’t see others the way man saw others. He saw others as God saw others…as being people saved by grace.
How does God look at us? We ALL are made in his image. All of us. We may take pride in our accomplishments. He doesn’t. We may beat ourselves up for our failures. He doesn’t. Today, take some time to look at what God has accomplished for you rather than focusing on your accomplishments/failures. It’s a great way to keep from looking at yourself too highly, or too lowly. The Comparison Game cripples us no matter if we come out on top or on the bottom.
PRAYER: Father God, as the Psalmist says, I am in awe of how you think of me. Forgive me for comparing myself to others. Empower me by your Spirit to see me as you see me. Amen
But we wanted you to have the true message. That’s why we didn’t give in to them, not even for a second. Galatians 2:5 (CEV)
In his book “Wild at Heart”, author John Eldredge states that within the heart of every man there is the desire to be a warrior, to be a hero, to have a maiden to rescue. Likewise, within the heart of every woman is the desire to be a princess, to have someone who sees enough value in them to fight for and rescue them.
While I wholeheartedly agree with his assessment, I take it one step further. There is within the heart of each of us, man or woman, the need to feel we are worth fighting for. Each of us needs to have a champion who will stand by our sides in the best of times, cheering our successes, and in the worst of times, bandaging our wounds.
Paul had Barnabas, Naomi had Ruth, David had Jonathan, Peter had Jesus and the list goes on and on of people who can point to one person who lifted them up, and stood with them in the darkest of times.
For the Galatian churches, and a young man named Titus, that person was the Apostle Paul. The early churches that Paul had planted as sort of an itinerant preacher were under attack. The worst part is, these attacks came from people who claimed to be in agreement with them. The attacks that do the most damage are those that come from those closest to us.
Titus was one of Paul’s close associates. He was a Greek who found Jesus Christ as his personal Savior. He grew under the teaching of Paul. He grew close to Jesus an enjoyed the freedom one can only find through Jesus. That’s where the trouble occurred. A group of people, the Bible calls them Judaizers, insisted that Titus be circumcised if he were a true believer in Jesus.
There are still Judaizers in the church today. These are the people who are quick to tell you how you should act, what you should eat, which version of the Bible to read, which music you should listen to and which people and activities to avoid in order to show you are a ‘good Christian.’
Then, along comes Paul. I see him riding in on a white horse, sword (well, maybe scroll) drawn, and ready for battle. In his letter to his Galatian churches, he tells them “We wouldn’t give in to their legalism for one second. Not ONE!”
Paul stood up for them and for us as well. There will always be those who claim to have superior knowledge on how to live the Christian. They will have all sorts of hoops to jump through, and good advice for us. When that happens measure all of that with the freedom we have in Jesus through Grace. YOU are worth fighting for.
PRAYER: Lord Jesus, I ask that you would protect me from the Judaizers in my life. Keep me from being discouraged by their attacks or sucked into their legalism. Through the leading of your Holy Spirit, may I enjoy the freedom Grace offers me. Amen.
So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.”Romans 8:15
Psychology Today says of guilt, “Guilt and its handmaiden, shame, can paralyze––or catalyze one into action. Appropriate guilt can function as social glue, spurring one to make reparations for wrongs. Excessive rumination about one’s failures, however, is a surefire recipe for resentment and depression.”
Guilt almost always focuses on the negative, even though it can have positive outcomes. We’ve all been there. Dealing with feelings of regret, failure and fear over decisions we’ve made and choices from our past that haunt us daily. Those times when we’ve been awakened in the night by worry or come to a point during the day when we look around ourselves and ask the questions. How did I get here? How will I get out?
Guilt has been used for centuries to control behavior and to protect the status quo. “Wait until your father gets home!” too many of us remember hearing.
“If you don’t behave the police will come and take you away!” (I actually heard a young, frustrated mom say to her very two-year-old acting two-year-old. I shudder to think how that child grew up looking at law-enforcement.)
“If you don’t go to church and read your Bible you will go straight to hell!” (Okay, maybe it was never verbalized like that, but the message was clear.)
God hates divorced people and gay people and anyone that does wrong things. (One of my personal ‘UN’-favorites.)
The most unfortunate thing about guilt is that it has been used for centuries as a motivator by organized religion. I use the term ‘organized religion’ to clearly differentiate those systems from what we commonly refer to Christianity. Christianity can be a religion; in fact most people refer to it as a religion. In reality however, True Christianity is more about relationship than it is about rules and religion and…guilt. Every religion known to man speaks of personal responsibility and punishment. Only Christianity speaks of unmerited love and forgiveness.
The Apostle Paul, the Apostle of grace, writes in his letter to the believers in Rome, ‘We have not received a spirit of fear!’ (My paraphrase) That means fear motivated by guilt and remorse has no place in the heart of a repentant believer in Jesus Christ. The church may wield the sword of guilt to chastise us and keep us in line, but grace trumps that sword.
What a blessed truth. Guilt has no more hold on me, just as a child enjoys all the rights of being an heir. We no longer need to live under the oppressive hold of guilt in our lives. We are free. We are children of God and as such can address the creator of the universe as Daddy. What a blessed promise!
PRAYER: Father God, Daddy. I claim the forgiveness you have given me through your son, Jesus Christ. I will no longer allow guilt or shame to have control over me. I’m your child and eternally thankful for that. Amen.
So then, everything depends, not on what we humans want or do, but only on God’s mercy. Romans 9:16 (GNT)
This time there was no avoiding it. I was cornered with no way out. He’d been my friend since, well, since I can remember. We grew up together, fished together, played ball together and occasionally, got into childhood fights together.
During a particularly tough time in my life I was in dire need of financial help. Jim was the guy who’d come to my rescue. It was a significantly large amount of money, a loan with no interest and no payback date. At the time I saw no other options. I accepted the offer and eventually dug myself out of a hole I’d prepared for myself.
Lately, I’d been avoiding Jim. I didn’t even realize it until later, but every time our paths crossed I felt a twinge of guilt and apprehension. I’d fallen behind on some of the payments and felt guilty for it. He’d trusted me. He’d known my situation and was willing to take a chance on me. Now, I’d failed him and I wasn’t sure how to dig myself out of this new hole. That’s why his words dug so deeply and so quickly.
“Is there something wrong between us man? You seem distant.”
I had to come clean. “I’ve fallen behind on my payments and I feel terrible. I feel like I’ve really let you down, like I’ve failed you, like…”
That’s when he stepped back and looked at me with a look of confusion and shock.
“Is this all about that stupid money? Good grief man! Don’t worry about it. Debt forgiven.”
I was taken back, moved to the point of tears. I didn’t know what to say. Then I mumbled something like, “That’s very gracious of you. Thank you. I’ll try to pay it back somehow.”
I wish I could have grabbed that word bubble back. As soon as I said it I realized how stupid it sounded.
Jim smiled, “No Pastor, you don’t understand. I forgave you. There’s nothing you did to earn it. There’s nothing you can do to repay it. It’s forgiven.”
As we parted, closer than ever, I realized what had just happened. I’d been reminded of two things. One is that God’s grace and forgiveness is nothing we can earn. The second thing I learned is how silly we humans sound when we try to repay a debt we can never repay.
Jim taught me what grace really means that day, and I realized how often to make promises to a God that he knows I can’t fulfill, but he loves me anyway. Why do we try to repay him when the debt has already been paid?
PRAYER: Lord Jesus. There are some any times I fail you. So many times I make silly promises I know I can never fulfill. Thank you for your love. Thank you for your grace. I receive it willingly. Amen.
I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love. To them I was like one who lifts a little child to the cheek, and I bent down to feed them. Hosea 11:4
What an amazing word picture the prophet Hosea gives us. In the midst of his letter of rebuke to God’s people, he gives a picture of his undying love for us! Hosea married an unfaithful woman. He knew she was unfaithful when he married her, yet he remained faithful to her in the midst of her waywardness.
“Like one who lifts a little child to the cheek.”
Those of us who are parents or grandparents need no physical picture to visualize the situation. How often, especially in those first days of life, do we pick up this new life, this miracle of human birth, and gently kiss his or her cheek.
As they grow older, they venture away from us, taking those first steps, enduring those first falls, experiencing those first rejections. And in the midst of their pain, they come home.
My teenage daughter has crossed the line from ‘little girl’ to ‘womanhood.’ When she was little, I’d hold her close to me and she’d lay her head on my shoulder. If she was tired she’d nestle into the crook of my neck and I’d lay my head on her cheek. Often, this is where she would fall asleep.
Now, of course, she’s ‘more refined’. She’s grown up. The kisses on the lips at nighttime are no more, but she leans in so I can kiss her cheek.
My daughter isn’t perfect. She wanders, she strays, she makes choices that are…well, childish. Does that take away my love? Of course not! And so it is with our heavenly Father.
We get caught up in the concerns of life. We make choices that weaken or destroy relationships or put us in financial turmoil. We lose sight of what’s important and stray from what we know is right.
Even though we stray and stumble and rebel, our Father never leaves. Our ‘Heavenly Daddy’ is right where he always has been. And He’s more than willing to hold us close to his cheek and remind us of his love.
PRAYER: Father God. At times I confess I take your love for granted. I lose sight of the passionate, intimate love you have for me. I go my own way and find myself dealing with the consequences. Thank you for your unconditional, eternal love. Thank you for holding me close to you; for holding me cheek to cheek. Amen.
Mike Fisk & Built with Grace 