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And patience produces character, and character produces hope. And this hope will never disappoint us, because God has poured out his love to fill our hearts. He gave us his love through the Holy Spirit, whom God has given to us. Romans 5:4-5 (NCV)
Disappointment comes into our lives in a variety of ways. Our disappointments can be minor and only affect our lives for a few moments, or major disappointment can change the course of our lives forever.
How we handle disappointment depends on many factors such as our emotional well-being, the size of the disappointment and any physical or financial impact it can have on our lives.
The size of our disappointment and how we handle it is largely dependent on hope. Hope is based on expectations and desire. The more we cherish something the more we ‘hope’ to have it come true, last longer, or be a part of us. The size and effect of our disappointment is dependent on what we have our hope based on.
We can put our hope on a relationship, but relationships are made of people and people are human and humans fail.
We can place our hope on special interests or politics, but politics are as fickle as the people who make them up.
We can place our hope on money, but as many have found out lately, you can work your whole life to amass a nice retirement account and see it flitter away in the winds of health, economic disaster or divorce.
Some place their hope in religion, but religion is nothing more than a set of rules based on false hopes and expectations. Some have even placed their hope on God and been disappointed because he didn’t deliver as they ‘hoped’ he would.
Disappointment is a fact of life and no matter how you live you will encounter disappointment. How disappointment affects you isn’t dependent on what happened to cause the disappointment but on what you have your hopes based on. Base your hopes on anything other than the promises of God given through his son Jesus Christ and disappointment will be harsh and perhaps even fatal. Hope placed on God is hope based on someone who has never ever failed and knows what is best for us.
I don’t always understand why God does what he does. I’ve been disappointed countless times. Disappointed in myself, in others and in life’s circumstances. But when measured up against God’s promises those disappointments are easier to bear.
One other thing that makes disappointment easier to bear is patience. The Apostle Paul writes, “Patience produces character which produces in us a hope that will never leave us disappointed.” I am learning that if I patiently wait for God to do his work my hopes will be realized and my disappointments will be less severe. I can be patient when I hope in God because the outcome is no longer in my hands or the hands of others, but in a God of mercy, grace and power who is passionately in love with me.
PRAYER: Father God. Life seems to be on disappointment after another. Unanswered prayer, relational disaster, financial calamity, political and natural disasters seem rampant. Empower me with your Spirit to put my hope in you and patiently wait for you to do what needs to be done. Help me to trust you as my only hope and salvation. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
So we tell others about Christ, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all the wisdom God has given us. We want to present them to God, perfect in their relationship to Christ. That’s why I work and struggle so hard, depending on Christ’s mighty power that works within me. Colossians 1:28-29 (NLT)
Somewhere along the line we have bought into the idea that there is a disconnect between being a Christ-follower and being intelligent. The media often portrays ‘religious’ people as being some sort of anomaly that is out of touch with society, reality and in some cases just plain dumb!
Here’s a news flash for you. It’s not true. Being a follower of Jesus Christ does not mean you are less intelligent, less in touch with reality or stupid. Don’t let the enemy tell you any differently. We don’t follow a bunch of empty, unsubstantiated rules and stories that religion dreams up. We don’t place our faith on empty tradition, fancy dishes, or ‘new revelations’ that came from some mountaintop experience.
Perhaps one of the reasons we are maligned as being out of touch with reality and disconnected from ‘true science’ is the fact that ‘wisdom’ and ‘intellect’ are often misunderstood. Someone can be very intelligent, but not very wise. I had a college professor once who was perhaps the most intelligent and interesting person I’ve ever met. But he couldn’t figure out an overhead projector! (Those of you under 30 may want to Google overhead projector to understand that last statement!)
I also know some people who, by the world’s standards, aren’t very intelligent at all but are extremely wise. People who have never finished high school but are making six figure salaries because they didn’t let the fact that they didn’t have a fancy piece of paper on their wall keep them from being successful.
In the spiritual realm it’s our wisdom, not our knowledge of spiritual things, that will enable us to help others (and ourselves) grow strong in our relationship with Jesus Christ.
The wise follower of Christ will be able to discern what those around them need in order to begin or grow in a relationship with Christ. Learn how to use the tools we have to build strong godly lives. Learn to listen more than preach; to love more and criticize less; to accept differences without demanding our own way.
The Apostle Paul was an extremely intelligent, highly trained teacher in his day. But he writes to the Colossians and reminds them that it isn’t his intellect that brings others to maturity in Christ. Others grew in their relationship because Paul’s teaching was based on God’s wisdom and Paul’s tenacity and refusal to give up.
Grace says, “I know the right way. I know you are on the wrong path. But I will love you and rely on Godly wisdom to gently show you a better, more joyful way. Show your wisdom by showing others God’s grace.
PRAYER: Father God, I get angry when I see people I love and have concern for going down the wrong path. Help me in my frustration to remember that they will not change because of my knowledge. They will not grow because of my preaching. Like plants in the garden they will only become fruitful by my tender loving care and a refusal to give up on them. Empower me with your Spirit of wisdom to help others grow in you. Amen.
Each of you is now a new person. You are becoming more and more like your Creator, and you will understand him better. Colossians 3:10 (CEV)
I’ll be honest with you. I’m not a runner. Never have been much of a runner and don’t really intend on becoming one. I love walking much better. When I’m walking I can enjoy the scenery more than when I’m gasping for breath. I’ve also noticed that when you are walking and you meet another walker, they smile and may even say hi. Runners? Not so much. Every runner I’ve met has either just passed by in a blur or were too busy grimacing to respond to my greeting.
If you are a runner and enjoy it, God bless you. I think you’re crazy, but that’s not important.
In spite of my disdain for running I have to admit that it does have it’s benefits and much of what you learn about running can aid you in life in general.
Take for instance the long distance runner. I have a friend who loves to run marathons. He’s run in several major marathons across the country and even though he’s never one a major one, he loves to compete in them and set a goal for where he will place. He considers himself a winner if he meets or exceeds his goal.
One thing I’ve learned from him as we’ve talked about his hobby is the importance of pacing yourself. When he begins a marathon he’s well aware that he can’t sprint the entire distance. He’ll burn out way to quickly. The distance runner learns how to ‘listen’ to his/her body, when to push, when to lay back, when to stop. The distance runner is aware of distractions but focused on the prize at the end.
A few years ago the story is told of a young runner who got confused on a race course. He was one step away from going to the state tournament and was favored to win at state. Tragedy struck however when he became confused and ran the wrong way. He realized his mistake and turned around. He didn’t get to go to state because of his miscue, but he finished the race well.
That’s what life is really about. Running the race, finishing well and realizing that distractions and disappointments may come but they will never keep us from the ultimate goal, the finish line.
That’s what Grace is about. Grace isn’t about winning the race, it’s about finishing. Grace isn’t about running a perfect race, it’s about running. Grace isn’t about performance on self but reliance on Jesus Christ. Religion demands perfection now. Grace knows perfection is both immediate (through Jesus’ sacrifice) and future (when our faith is made complete in his presence).
When you ask Christ into your life your eternal destiny is finished, but the race must still be won. You may not finish well, but you will finish. You may not run a perfect race, but you must run. You may be distracted, stumble or go off course. But you can always come back.
PRAYER: Father God, thank you that through the forgiveness Jesus offers my eternal destiny is settled. I realize I must still run the race. Thank you that you aren’t surprised when I stumble, go off course or don’t run to my potential. Empower me to strive for excellence in my running for your sake. Amen.
I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also. 2 Timothy 1:5 (NIV)
To read this blog post you need to start humming ‘The Way We Were’ as sung by Barbra Streisand.
“Memories, light the corners of my mind
Misty watercolor memories of the way we were.
Scattered pictures of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we give to one another
For the way we were”
The last couple of months have been a little tough for me. Nothing bad or serious really. The journey has just been a little more than hectic. Unfortunately the thing that has taken the biggest toll has been my writing.
My time away from the pen (er, keyboard) hasn’t been wasted. I’ve enjoyed time with my family, time with my God and time with the great outdoors. So, what did I do this summer? I reminded myself of the importance of memories. The reminders were neither subtle nor painless. Memories, I’ve determined aren’t so plans in life as they are the life in the plans.
This summer my wife, her two daughters and I visited a small state forest campground that she’d gone to in her childhood. Twice a year she and her parents made the five hour pilgrimage north to get away from the city and away from people. It wasn’t a large lake. The fishing wasn’t fantastic, but they always had fish. No TV. No electricity. Not even any cell phone signal. But the place was huge in her mind.
We spent three days there. We did some fishing. It wasn’t great, but we caught enough for a great fish-fry. We re-walked the paths she’d walked and remembered the stories she’d told. We learned how to live without cell phones and electrical outlets.
When we left, my wife (who is nearly as big a sap as I am, but not quite) cried. No tears of regret or sadness, tears of joy. This place was so much a part of her. This place was a large piece of the puzzle that made her who she is. Even though none of us had ever been here, we were all returning to a place in our hearts because it was a place of her heart.
Like the young college student said to me once, “I know my parents loved me. They worked so hard to give us what we needed and wanted. But I don’t have any memories. We didn’t spend time with each other. Everything revolved around activity and not relationship.” His parents had missed the most important thing because activity in and of itself doesn’t build relationship, time together does. And memories come from time together.
As we began our own journey home I thought about what just happened and the verse in 2 Timothy came to mind. Timothy was a special person in Paul’s life. He was grounded in relationship. He was grounded in faith. Those two worked together to make him what he was.
Some say you should never mix religion and politics and that statement is true. Religion is nothing more than rules and politics are the same. But, our relationship with Jesus must permeate every aspect of our lives in order to build the character that will take us through the obstacles of our journey ahead.
I dare say that Timothy’s mother and grandmother didn’t raise Timmy with ministry in mind. They raised him with life in mind. Ministry grew from their efforts to prepare him for life. Each of us has ‘memories in the corners of our minds’. Events that make us who we are today. Some of those may be painful. Use them to comfort others in pain. Some may be happy, share them to life someone’s day. We may never be the ‘way we were’ but regardless, we can use ‘the way we were’ to encourage someone ‘where they are.’
PRAYER: Father God, I look at the path I’ve trod so far in life. I’ve stumbled over plenty of rocks, fallen on some slippery ground and missed a few curves. I thank you for the grace you’ve given me through Jesus to carry on. Help me to use the time I have left to make other’s lives better. In Jesus’ name I pray this, Amen.
Your kingdom is built on what is right and fair. Love and truth are in all you do. Psalm 89:14 (NCV)
Do what is right! You have to be fair! No one would disagree with those two statements. We all want fairness. We all want the ‘right things’ to happen in life. But sometimes ‘fairness’ and ‘rightness’ are hard to define.
To the farmer who needs rain to refresh his crops a good shower is not only fair, but needed. Not so for the bride who planned an outdoor wedding in a beautiful park. To the child that desperately wants to attend a certain party it may seem unfair that mom and dad say no. On the other hand it never seems fair when someone is killed by a drunk driver.
So what is it that we can use for a standard to determine what is right and fair? The double edged sword of love and truth. Love without truth leads to enablement and a failure to see reality. Truth without love becomes legalistic and unbending. But love and truth together shows itself in loyalty and loyalty is the key ingredient in relationship.
Many times we demand something be fair or right when we really just want our own way. We may think God is unfair when the innocent die or ‘good people’ are devastated by illness, financial ruin or relational disaster. We may think it unfair when children endure starvation or abuse.
While we may not understand why God allows things to happen as they do, we need to always keep before us the fact that everything He does is done in love and truth. He sends things into our lives to draw us to himself. He allows things to happen so we keep our focus and dependence on him.
Because everything God does is tempered by his love and truth, there are times when he brings things we don’t like into our lives. His discipline isn’t like the punishment of an abusive parent or political tyrant. The pain he brings is meant to build us up and make us stronger. Doing what is right and fair may be painful at times, but it never squelches one’s spirit.
Going through some hard times? Afraid of the future? Angry at your past or at those who have hurt you in the past? Remember that God’s kingdom is not of this world. His kingdom is one of love and truth and, as such, we can know that nothing he does is done in anger and vindictiveness. It’s done to bring us to a place where we can love him more fully. He will never leave you or forsake you no matter what has happened in your life.
PRAYER: Father God, I struggle at times to know what is fair and what is the right thing to do. I’m pulled in so many directions politically, emotionally, relationally and spiritually. Empower me with your Spirit to be able to see things as you do and to act in love and truth in every situation so I can show others the grace you’ve shown me. In Jesus name, Amen.
Mike Fisk & Built with Grace 