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How long must I be confused and miserable all day? How long will my enemies keep beating me down? Psalm 13:2 (CEV)
It’s a question we all ask. It comes in a variety of ways, for a variety of reasons. But its meaning and source are the same.
How long will my loved one have to suffer from this cancer? How long will I have to endure a marriage that isn’t fulfilling for me or the kids? How long will this job hunt last? How long will I have to wait for that doctor’s report? How long will this addiction keep me enslaved? How long…?
We can try to find things to take our focus off the question. Some of our activities to try to take our focus off the question are noble. We volunteer. We go to church. We enter some ministry to help others. But when we go home at night, in the silence of our own minds the question lurks.
Sometimes we try other things that aren’t quite so noble. We have an affair. We turn to drugs or alcohol. We blame God. We worry. Wait, worry? Is it fair to list worry in the same paragraph as affairs, drugs or blaming God? Sadly, yes. For worry is just another way we say (unintentionally perhaps) that God can’t or won’t take care of you for whatever the reason.
The question hounds us relentlessly. Day and night it lurks in the shadows waiting for an opportune time to attack. A time when our minds, weary from trying to avoid the question lets its guard down. That’s when the enemy attacks.
The enemy, of course, is Satan and we must never lose sight of the fact that celebrates those times when he can keep us subdued. He and is wicked cohorts give each other high fives when we focus so much on the question that we lose sight of the only one who can give the answer.
He’s ruthless too. He not only uses his own mind-bending tactics to attack your soul and mind, he uses people. Sometimes he coerces good church-going people who kick you when you are down in the name of Jesus. Other times he uses evil people intent on causing you harm. Physical harm is bad enough, but those bruises will heal. Emotional bruises on the other hand are hidden from view and take years to heal, if ever.
How long? The answer is two-fold. First of all, our deliverance will come in a time that is best for us. Secondly, the answer will only come from a vibrant faith in God that says, regardless of how long I suffer, I put my trust in thee.
PRAYER: Father, in the midst of my despair, confusion and frustration I confess I’ve lost my focus. I’m focusing so much on the question that I’m crippled from finding you, or the answer for that matter. I thank you that you see my very soul and that you are with me even when I can’t find you. Amen.
He saves my life from the grave and loads me with love and mercy. Psalm 103:4 NCV
How full is full? The answer to that of course depends on the size of the container to be filled, and what you are filling it with. Also, the supply source can have an influence on your answer.
For example, if I were to try to fill a gallon container with water from a quart sized container the question becomes unimportant. I can’t fill the gallon sized container because my source will dry up. If, however my source is unlimited and my destination container is small, filling it to overflowing is easy.
The Psalmist tells us that your Heavenly Father loads you up with love and mercy. Interesting thing about love and mercy. When they are present they squeeze whatever is inside of us out. Love and hatred can’t abide together. When I’m filled to overflowing with God’s love I can’t hate, even if I want to.
Mercy can’t co-habitate with guilt. Forgiveness can’t share a bed with revenge. Grace won’t be seen with a judgmental attitude. Freedom (in Christ) won’t associate with legalistic attitudes. Fear can’t sit down to eat with worry. Your new life in Christ ignores the voice of your past as it screams accusations and reminders of your failures.
You are a child of the Living God. When you accepted Christ onto your life and asked forgiveness of your sin something else happened. The Father filled you to HIS measure with love and mercy. The filling with God’s love is immediate even though the results can take time to show themselves.
Sometimes our humanity fights the filling so it takes time to see the full results. Don’t give up on yourself though. Don’t give up on God’s ability to remove the sludge of the old life. Constant reliance on his love will slowly squeeze out the fear, the doubt and the pain that keeps us from feeling the full benefits of your Fathers unlimited love and mercy.
So when the affair you had reminds you of your unfaithfulness, remember God’s mercy. When the words you wish you could take back haunt you, remember his forgiveness. When the bruises of an abusive past cause you pain, remember his love. When the voices of addiction taunt you and welcome you in, lean on his strength.
I love the phrase, “He loads me up with love and mercy’. In this we can find all the strength we need to carry on.
PRAYER: Father God I thank you for giving me the full measure of your love and mercy. I ask now that you would empower me with your Holy Spirit so that love and mercy will spill over to those around me. Amen
For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. Romans 3:23-24 (NLT)
During a very difficult time in my life I was unemployed and unable to get work in the area of my training. It was a very difficult time for me. Few jobs were available in the first place. Secondly, there were some jobs that I’d have liked to have, but I didn’t have the training. Other jobs required experience that I didn’t have. In an act of desperation I even tried to get a job at McDonalds and was told I was too overqualified.
Needless to say it was a very tough time for me financially, but it was even more damaging emotionally. I ‘realized’ at that time that I wasn’t able to meet anyone’s standards. I felt defeated, worthless, and hopeless.
When we don’t feel like we measure up it affects our entire outlook on life. We can give up on relationships; bury our frustrations in food, drugs or other addictive behaviors and activities. That kind of behavior leads to a negative spiral. We do something stupid and feel guilty about it. We look for relief for our actions which usually leads to more activity of the same, which of course makes us feel guilty so we find some way to comfort our feelings of failure by…yep, engaging in some inappropriate activity of feelings.
Rehab centers and counseling offices are full of people who have, at some time in their lives, felt they didn’t measure up. ‘New religions’ and changes in church policies are put in place to try to make you feel better about your lifestyle. Nothing is working though. We continue to struggle with ourselves.
Part of the problem is we try to meet up to people’s standards. But that’s a losing battle because some people are impossible to please. Others standards are much lower than your own or fickle. What we need is to find a standard which will show love and acceptance. A standard that will make us feel fulfilled no matter what life throws at us. A standard that will lead us to eternal life.
Sound impossible? You are right, it is. That level of standard only comes from God. His standards are perfect. His standards are loving, kind and full of mercy and understanding. So to feel good about yourself and what you do the trick is to live up to the standards of a Holy, Perfect God.
Sound impossible? It is. We are all human. Whether you are gay or straight, pro-choice or pro-life, regardless of your political persuasion or religious affiliation, you have fallen short of the standards God requires for a good life here and eternal life with him.
So what’s the solution to not meeting up to the standards God demands? Jesus. There is nothing you can do in and of yourselves to meet up to Godly standards. Only through the free gift of Jesus Christ can you find the success to live the life God and you desire. It’s not your power. It’s not your striving. It’s accepting the fact you can’t and living according to the grace given through Jesus.
Stop depending on your own actions to succeed. Stop striving to kick the old habits. Let God take that away. Through Jesus you can meet his standards.
PRAYER: Father God, I thank and praise you for your gift of salvation through Jesus. I’m tired of doing the same stupid things over and over again. Forgive me for the things I’ve done to hurt myself and others. Empower me with your Spirit to live free because of Jesus. In your name, Amen.
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Hebrews 4:15
Have you ever taken the time to sit and listen to any of the promotional television shows? Each show has a product or ‘system’ to sell that will make your life easier physically, relationally financially or career-wise. The problem with most of these shows is that they can’t possibly take into account your particular life circumstance, your past, your family situation, your feelings or your hurts.
Wouldn’t it be nice if there were a show on TV that gave you ten easy steps to having whatever you wanted or needed in life? The unfortunate reality is, it’s not going to happen. No one can possibly give you an easy answer to all the things that are troubling you. There is no quick-fix to the disappointments, the pain of abuse, the fear of the future or the shadows of your past, those ghosts in the closet that you have kept hidden for years.
Worse yet, no one fully understands how you feel. You may be lucky enough to have one or two friends that can understand somewhat the feelings you are going through. They may be able to cry with you, listen to you and support you, but nobody can climb inside your body to know exactly how you feel. No one, that is, except Jesus.
Jesus alone knows and understands exactly how you feel and understands your weakness. In fact, the Bible says he personally has experienced every temptation, every rejection, every struggle you have. The difference is that Jesus never gave in to those temptations, never let the rejection keep him captive, never allowed the attacks of other people to affect how he viewed himself.
Even though he knows how to overcome all those obstacles, he’s not going to hold that over you. You’ll never hear Jesus say, “Suck it up! I resisted. I overcame. You just need to be strong. You just need to reach deep within yourself and resolve to be better”. Jesus won’t criticize us because even though he was victorious over the struggles of life, he knows we are weak. He knows we fail.
Jesus is our great high-priest. A high-priest was the person that would go before God with our sins and seek God’s forgiveness on our behalf. When Jesus goes to the Father with our sin, he says something like, “I know he’s failed again. I know she’s having a hard time with forgiveness and that addiction, but I know how he/she feels. I was there. I know the struggle and the power life can have over them.”
There aren’t ten easy steps to perfection. But there is one easy step to forgiveness in Jesus Christ. There is one person in this world who understands every time you’ve failed. Every time you’ve given in to an addiction, a struggle, anger, hate or any of the other things that attack. Jesus understands. He longs to hold you in his arms of grace. He’s only a prayer away.
PRAYER: Dear Jesus, I don’t fully understand how you can understand me when I don’t understand myself most days. There are so many days when I wake up in the morning determined to conquer the obstacles in my path, only to fail miserably. Thank you for knowing how I feel. Thank you for accepting me anyway. Forgive me for my failings and empower me to get up and keep going. In your name I pray, Amen.
Mike Fisk & Built with Grace 