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Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin? Romans 2:4 (NLT)
Everyone likes to be right. Everyone likes to be in the popular crowd, the winning team, the champions. When the Apostle Paul wrote to the book of Romans, his readers were mostly made up of Jewish people who laid most of their spiritual integrity on the fact that they were the people of God. This status gave them great pride.
The problem was, according to Paul, they were basing their position on the wrong thing! There were some Jewish believers that thought themselves a step above other believers because of their Jewish heritage. Paul tells them to step back and take another look at what got them where they were. Paul reminds them that the only reason for their position of faith was God’s goodness. It had absolutely nothing to do with their religious tradition.
The message is the same for us today. Everyday we are bombarded with horrific stories of how people treat one another. Even within so-called Christian circles there are people who place their entire identity on their religious tradition, the number of ‘spiritual activities’ they participate in, the music they listen to, or even the version of the Bible they read.
Our position in Christ has nothing to do with anything we have done, either good or bad. If your past is full of addictions, poor choices, or dysfunctional relationships and you have found forgiveness in Christ, you are no different than the squeaky-clean person who has grown up in the church or hasn’t been involved in all sort so sordid activities.
God doesn’t base His love for us on a background check. He bases it solely on who Jesus is and what He did on the cross for you. There is no grading system among Christ-followers in God’s eyes. His love, forgiveness and power isn’t given according to whether you are more, or less worthy than the next person. All are equal in his economy regardless of race, gender, or denominational background. God loves you regardless of all the bad or good things you have done.
None of us are any better or worse than the next person, in God’s eyes. Don’t let others judge you on the basis of your past. Don’t judge others on what you see on the outside. Learn their story before you judge their character. Consider how good God has been to you before judging how other people are. Unconditional love for others is based on the fact that the God of the Universe loves us all the same regardless of our past.
PRAYER: Father God, I thank and praise you for the fact that even though you know how rebellious and stupid I can be, you still love me dearly. Thank you for choosing to love me in spite of myself. Forgive me of my past and empower me by your Holy Spirit to live in close relationship to you. Help me to live unaffected by those who judge me wrongly. Keep me from judging others on the basis of what I see. In Jesus name, Amen.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 1 Corinthians 13:5
Remember growing up and having that ‘friend’ that always made the rules about the games you played? Remember how, for some strange reason, the rules always gave them the advantage? Remember the time you tried to stand up for yourself and change the rules to be fairer and how your friend ‘wasn’t your friend anymore’?
That’s not love.
Remember the time you made a stupid mistake and offended a dear friend? Remember how he/she exploded in anger and said some really hurtful things. Now the relationship isn’t the same, in fact, you barely speak to one another?
That’s not love.
Remember that argument that you had with your spouse/significant other/ family member/boss? You know, the one where all the mistakes you ever made in the past were brought up as fuel for the fire. Things you thought were long forgiven and forgotten suddenly became missiles that pierced your heart.
That’s not love.
The hardest part about loving someone the way Christ wants us to love is that we are so vulnerable. We lay ourselves out emotionally and physically in such a way that it is easy to get hurt. True love is that Christ-like kind of love that seeks what is good for the other person in every circumstance and relationship we find ourselves in along this journey we call life.
The struggles of life and the fact that we are human is the hardest part of loving. When you offend me (for the umpteenth time!), love says it’s okay. We’ll work though this. When I offend you (for the umpteenth time!), love tells me I know I can come to you and ask forgiveness without fear of this situation coming up in a much later conversation. Love endures countless emotional and physical let downs. Love knows when to stand up for ourselves or walk away graciously when we are in danger.
Christ-like love should be like a healing salve on the emotional, spiritual and physical wounds that others have put on us. It comforts, builds up, understands and forgives. Christ-like love is supernatural because in my humanness I’m too weak to love the way I want to. It is during those tough times of life when I rely on His love to give me strength and to strengthen those around me.
PRAYER: Father when I think about all the things love really means I’m in awe that anyone can love. When I see the many ways I’ve failed to love others and the many ways human love has hurt me, I am tempted to give up on love all together. I ask that you would encourage me to see that the love Paul describes is ideal, supernatural love. It’s not just the love you expect us to have for others, it’s the love we can expect from you. Empower me through your Holy Spirit to learn how to love those around me like you do. In your name I pray, Amen.
“But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. Luke 6:27-28
A couple weeks ago we went to a local apple orchard on our fall run to pick some fresh, crisp apples. As we were walking through the rows and rows of trees our conversation turned to the many types of apples there are. Some are sweet, some tart; some soft, some hard; some are good for eating right off the tree, others are better for pies, baking and apple sauce. Amazing the choices we have and there are new varieties coming out every year.
Enemies are like apples in a sense. There are all sorts of them out there. There are enemies a half a world away that we hear about on the news. We shake our heads at them and perhaps our fists. We pray for them, but for most of us, our prayers are vague, general voices of concern for people we’ve never met, and based on fear of our own safety and freedom.
There are the enemies based in the political arena, whether that is church politics or government. Again, we’ve never seen them but the choices they make directly, or indirectly affect our comfort and from time to time attack our convictions.
There is the unseen enemy of course. Satan, or one of his ugly cohorts, lurks behind every corner waiting to through darts of worry, temptation, judgmental, anger or a whole host of lies at us. Lies about our self-worth; lies about our God; lies about other people.
Perhaps the biggest enemy each of us faces every day is the enemy next door. I don’t mean your physical neighbor, but those who are closest to you emotionally. The child that no longer sees it necessary to follow your faith; the spouse who neglects, abuses or abandoned you, the boss who never sees anything you do as worthwhile. The friend or family member that misunderstands you, accuses you or makes you feel worthless. The parent who has never ever been there for you but now has all this advice to give you, advice you don’t need or want.
These enemies hurt the worst because, if we let them, they determine who we are, how we feel about ourselves and what God is like. They are the closest ones to us emotionally and can destroy us in a heartbeat with a flippant word, sarcasm or open attack.
It’s also these enemies that Jesus talked about on the hillside that day. He wasn’t telling the people to love some system that caused them pain. He was talking about the people we rub shoulders with every day. The ones that hurt us constantly. The people who, when we see them, cause the lump to form in your gut.
So, how can we do that? How can we love that person who hates the ground we walk on? How can we love that person who once professed to love us but has now turned their back on us? What Jesus is really commanding us to do is to counter every negative action directed towards us with a positive action. Sometimes that may mean that even though we have to remove ourselves from a harmful situation, we still refuse to speak evil of the person who attacked us. Sometimes it may mean praying a prayer that says, “God, I am supposed to pray for them but I’m so full of hurt right now I can’t. Help me.” I believe God honors the honest prayer of helplessness when we have to deal with the painful enemies of our heart.
I have to confess that the idea of being kind to people who have openly, intentionally and willfully attacked me isn’t pleasant. In fact, I struggle to do that. This is perhaps the hardest part of the Christian life, to love those in my circle who refuse to love back. So, how do we do it? Here are some suggestions from a person who has not yet attained.
- Remember that God DOES love you and understands how hard it is to love people who reject and hurt you. People do it to Him every day and since we are made in His image that means He feels that pain as well.
- Remember that God also created the ‘jerks’ of the world and His desire it to bring them to Himself, just as He did you.
- Remember that God realizes that you can’t do this on your own. It’s a process and requires that we lean heavily on the power of the Holy Spirit to help us.
- Lastly, Remember that we are told to love our enemies and as much as possible live at peace with them. Loving our enemies doesn’t necessarily mean we trust and live in relationship with those who have abused us physically, spiritually or emotionally.
PRAYER: Heavenly Father. I’m hurt. The hurt that I feel right now is the result of people who I thought I could trust who have turned on me. They are family members, friends, former lovers and/or even my own children. I feel completely alone and misunderstood here. Still, because of Jesus in my life I want to do as you’ve commanded. I want to love my enemies through the power of your Holy Spirit. Please help me have the wisdom and strength to love those nearest to me. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.
See that no one pays back evil for evil, but always try to do good to each other and to all people. 1 Thessalonians 5:15
‘I don’t get mad, I get even!’. We hear it said, or even say it all the time. Most of the time it’s meant in jest, but if we are honest, there are many times we get even when we’ve been hurt or offended. There are a variety of subtle and not-so-subtle ways of retaliation, but all have the same goal, to make sure the other person ‘pays’ for hurting us or crossing us.
Getting even is usually counter-productive. We are hurt by others so we hurt others in hopes of making our pain less. I’m not trying to minimize the pain of being attacked. Whether the attack is physical or emotional, the pain can be unbearable. Sometimes I think the emotional pain is worse because it leaves no visible bruises and we suffer alone.
It may be hard to admit it to ourselves, but many times our desire to ‘get even’ is a result of our own self-image. When we’re attacked, the enemy likes to whisper in our ear and tell us we are unworthy, unlovely, ugly, fat, stupid, weak and a whole list of other lies. The enemy loves to get us to think badly of ourselves so that we forget who we really are. We are children of the King!
Retaliation almost always leads to a negative spiral. You hurt me so I hurt you so you hurt me so I hurt you…and on and on. Many marriages and other relationships are destroyed because no one steps out of the circle.
When Christ-followers are involved in a negative spiral it shows the world that we are no different than they are. We talk of love and forgiveness but show none! In fact, sometimes the ‘evil sinners’ of the world are far kinder and forgiving than those of us who call ourselves Christians.
Paul writes to the church in Thessalonica and reminds them that retaliation (paying back evil for evil) should never be a part of the body of Christ. Rather, we are to do good to each other. This should be the defining mark of every church. People may not always agree with our stands on issues, but they should never question our love for each other and for them.
There’s an old Christian song that says “We are one in the Spirit….they will know we are Christians by our love’. If we are to impact our corner of the world for Jesus this should be our way of life. We will be hurt and offended. We will be attacked and misunderstood. We’ll be lied about. Our response should always be one of kindness even in situations where we have to separate us from our attacker because of the physical/emotional damage they have done to us.
Remember this. You are loved by God. He made you just as you are. If God had a chance to make you over again, He’d make you the same way that you are now! Let Him handle the crabby customer at work, the jerky driver on the interstate, the know-it-all gossip at your church. Rely on the Holy Spirit to empower you to show kindness and wisdom every time you are attacked. In this way, the world will know what it means to have the love of Jesus in our lives.
PRAYER: Father, I confess to you that it’s far easier for me to retaliate than to react with love, kindness and forgiveness. I’m ashamed to admit that I’m harder on my ‘Christian’ friends than I am on the ‘evil sinners’ I pray for each day. When someone hurts me, remind me that I’m yours. Empower me to remove myself from danger and rely on you for justice. Anoint my wounds with the healing oil of your love. If there is anyone to whom I should ask forgiveness please show them to me today. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ “The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’ Matthew 25:39-40
I have a confession to make. I have a problem with ‘Christians’. I think it’s safe to say that because I’m honored to have been chosen by Christ. I’m so thankful that He willingly and lovingly forgave a weak-willed sinner like me, and continues to do so. So I’m well aware that when I point fingers I have four more pointing back at me and perhaps that’s good since I’m probably more guilty than most.
One of the most frequent accusations I hear about ‘us’ is that we are all just a bunch of hypocrites. When we hear that we’re tempted to use a quick comeback like: “Then join us, you’ll fit right in!”, or “Well, we aren’t perfect, we’re just forgiven”. But the reality is, it stings for any of us when our weaknesses and failures are flaunted to those outside the ‘circle’.
Maybe one of the reasons it’s so hard to hear the accusations is because there are so many times when I’ve seen people who claim to be Christians doing things that Jesus would never do. When I see people verbally (and sometimes physically) assault ‘corrupt and evil sinners’ in the name of Jesus I want to…..slap them! (or worse but then I’d be like them).
Don’t get me wrong. I have several close friends I truly admire for the way they reach out to those in need. There are many openly Christian organizations that do a tremendous work to show Christ’s love in times of disaster, and tragedy. God Bless You if you are in one of those groups!
But there are so many times when I hear people say things about how they’d never go back to church after they were treated badly, or hear horror stories of people in agony who have been stomped on in ‘the name of Jesus.’
It’s relatively easy to be ‘Christ-like’ in a situation where there is tragedy and disaster and it’s noble as well. The question is, how many people are silently struggling around us? How many are enduring the pain of divorce, addictions, abuse, anger and chemical dependency with no comfort from someone who is ‘Jesus in skin’?
We need to recognize that God did not put those who are down and out on earth for me to change, convict or save. He put them here for me to learn from, listen to, to challenge and be challenged by, and to enjoy together and if possible and to comfort along this journey we call life.
Here are some ideas that may help each of us (and I emphasize EACH of us) in making a difference among the silently struggling in our own little corner of the world. Each should be bathed in prayer and practiced until perfection.
First, keep your eyes and ears open to the feelings (not just the words) of those who you come in contact with. Many times people hide their pain in sarcasm, and other ways. The trained ear knows how to look past the shell of protection to see the real need.
Secondly, make time to be available. Look for service projects that need to be done. Volunteer at a school, a shelter, in your church, at a local ministry. Ministry doesn’t come to you. Search for it and you may be surprised that even though things in your life are not going well, being a servant not only elevates those who are suffering, it elevates you as well. Don’t let your own trouble keep you from being someone else’s comfort.
Thirdly, be available inspire of your own busy schedules. Service isn’t always convenient. There were many times in Jesus’ life when he took side trips because of need. Let the grass grow a little longer, the clothes pile up in the laundry and use that time to be a servant to someone in need.
Finally realize that being a servant to someone may require a personal price. You may have to sacrifice your reputation. People may question your motives. You may be taken advantage of. You may be accused wrongfully. That’s all part of being a servant. It happened to Jesus and will happen to you as well.
Big ‘C’ or little ‘c’? Which will it be in your life? Is your Christian faith a religion to practice or a relationship to enjoy and grow in?
PRAYER: Dear Jesus. When I think of your ministry on earth I’m in awe of your patient, giving and loving attitude. While I try to live my life so others will see You in me, I confess that I fall woefully short. Empower me with your Spirit to be a servant to those who may be silently suffering. Help me use my pain to comfort others. In your name I pray, Amen.
Mike Fisk & Built with Grace 