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For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:14-15
When we’ve been hurt by someone it can take away a part of who we are. In some cases it’s a relatively mild thing. Our feelings are hurt by some sarcastic comment or a ‘friend’ tells us their opinion about something dear to us and it hurts.
In other cases, the violation of who we are is much more severe. We come home and find our home broken into and several things of emotional and physical value taken. Our spouse or significant other is caught in, or confesses to, an affair. We are the victim of assault, rape or domestic abuse.
These and many other things can attack the core of who we are. For that reason, and many others, forgiveness is tough. Somewhere along the line we’ve come to believe that forgiveness says, ‘What you did to me is okay’ or ‘I probably deserved all I got and more’ or a variety of other self-defamatory responses.
None of these things are true of course. Being hurt is never okay. Broken trust is, in some cases, impossible to mend. But forgiveness isn’t about justifying the actions of another person. Nor is forgiveness about condoning the attack. Forgiveness is about our own personal freedom. Forgiveness says, ‘I will not allow you to continue to control my emotions and my feelings about myself. I’m okay. I’m made in God’s image. Your actions against me were wrong, but I will not dwell on them. I will not allow your pain to cripple me for the rest of my life. I’m releasing you into the hands of God.’
Jesus often talked about forgiveness during His ministry on earth. In Matthew He states that we are to forgive others in order for God to forgive us. Forgiveness of our sins against God is forgiven only because of Jesus. Forgiveness can come no other way and by no action of our own.
Forgiveness of others is a choice. We have the power to make a decision to forgive others. We may not have the power to complete the process, but God’s Holy Spirit will help us with that.
Our refusal to forgive others is our choice. Much as He would like to intervene in the process, God has no choice but to allow us to choose to be unforgiving. He has no choice but to allow the consequences of unforgiveness (bitterness, anger, hatred, broken relationship) to plague us throughout our lives.
Forgiveness isn’t an attack on our personal integrity but being unforgiving is. Lifestyle forgiveness is a character trait that says “I will not allow the hurt you have brought into my life to affect how I feel about myself, others or even you. In the power of the Holy Spirit I am freeing myself of your control.”
PRAYER: Father God. I confess to you that I am struggling with hatred, bitterness and anger over the hurt that others have caused me in my past and present. I ask that your Holy Spirit would empower me to be able to forgive those who have hurt me so that I can live free of the bitterness, anger and hatred that are controlling me. Thank you that you love me just as I am. I’m your child. I will go forth this day free of the control that has bound me. Thank you Jesus. Amen.
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1
We are free because of the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Those who are Christ-followers hold this truth as the foundation of our faith and the motivation for all that we say and do. Our faith is based solely on Jesus Christ.
The entire book of Galatians can be summed up in one word. Freedom. Grace gives us the freedom we need to face the sometimes seemingly insurmountable obstacles in our way on this journey we call life.
Along with those obstacles come intentional or unintentional attempts by the enemy to rip the freedom we have in Jesus from our hands. He is a cunning enemy. He uses circumstances, people and even religion to try to enslave us. When it works we can find ourselves in more bondage than we were in before we came to Jesus.
Paul gives us a two word battle plan to protect our freedom. He tells the Galatian Church, and us, to STAND FIRM! That’s it. Stand. And while you are standing, stand firm. Immovable. Resolute. Unwavering.
Normally we think of defending our freedom in terms of warfare. It’s either fight or flight. We fight like a cornered animal if need be and run like a scared rabbit if necessary. As Christ followers all we need to do is stand. Jesus fought the battle on the cross and in the grave. He won! It’s over. Signed, sealed and delivered. Done. Period.
Standing isn’t normally considered a position of warfare. But standing in the face of adversity takes courage, strength and trust. A story is told of a neighborhood bully known to pick on dogs in the area. The ‘bully’ was a big old tomcat. In his wisdom he’d learned that dogs could only go as far as their chain or fence would allow them to come. He would walk just outside the perimeter of the chain or fence and stand. The dogs would come running until they reached the ‘end of their rope’ and come to a sudden, painful stop. The tomcat simply stood because he knew he was in no danger.
As Christ-followers we can stand in the face of adversity because we know we are free. We stand outside the perimeter of the enemy. He can’t hurt us any longer. We can trust our Savior to see us through and protect us.
Ask the Father to help you stand firm in the battle before you. Develop the faith-muscle you need to be unwavering using the PAS method.
P – Pray. The single most formidable weapon we have as Christ-followers is to pray. God is there and wants to hear your heart.
A– Accountability. Surround yourselves with people who are truly interested in encouraging your gifts, building you up and guiding you according to God’s word. Religion enslaves you. Relationship with Jesus frees you.
S – Scripture. God’s word is His letter to you. In it he holds the keys to how you can stand firm in Him. Read it daily. Study it with your accountability group. Take it with you into battle as you would a shield and weapon. It is not outdated. It is relevant for today.
PRAYER: Holy Father, I thank you for the freedom I have in Jesus Christ. I pray that you would remove the guilt and shame of past mistakes. I invite your Holy Spirit to enter into my life and guide, protect and strengthen me to stand in the midst of the obstacles that are before me. Empower me to stand firm in You. Amen.
“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4:26-27
All of us get angry from time to time. For some of us anger is a fleeting event in the process of life. Our anger is like a firecracker. Long or short fused, once we reach the ‘boiling point’ we explode. We say what we feel needs to be said or do what needs to be done and then we are finished.
For other people anger is like an iceberg. We may show some emotion on the surface but the true feelings are beneath the surface. People learn to stay away because they know that lurking beneath the surface of our emotions is a dangerous monster ready to rip us apart.
Anger in and of itself is not a sin. Jesus got angry with the religious zealots and the hypocrital Pharisees for the way they twisted God’s law for their own religious benefit. He was angry the day He drove the money changers from the Temple because they had defiled God’s rules on sacrifice.
Others in the Bible grew angry as well. Sometimes their anger was directed at wicked kings and family members. Sometimes their anger and frustration was directed at God. Even God is described as growing angry in relation to sin and to those who taught a ‘religion’ that contradicted His love and concern for mankind.
In most situations, anger is a secondary emotion. It is sub-consciously used as a cover up for guilt, unresolved sin, or fear. When we grow angry it is often because we feel threatened. We get angry at other people because they do or say things that make us feel inferior, unloved or unimportant. We resolve to never let that person hurt us again and never seek resolution.
Paul warns us that while being angry is not a sin, we should not let anger lead us into sin. In any situation we should respond, not react to the person who is attacking us. There are times when our first action must be to remove ourselves from the situation. God never wants us to be abused physically, spiritually or emotionally. Time apart allows both parties to evaluate the situation and work towards resolution, even if resolution includes ending a relationship.
When we are angry we need to resolve that situation as soon as possible. That doesn’t always mean we can go to the person who has made us angry and resolve things. Anger is my choice to react to a situation that I feel threatened by. It is also my choice to release the person that has hurt me by choosing not be in bondage to that person or to anger.
In cases of extreme abuse it may take years to get over the anger and hurt, but Jesus came to heal and free us from the bondage of anger. When we feel attacked, anger can be avoided by simply reassuring ourselves that because of Jesus we are okay. You are a child of the King. No one can change that or take it away from you.
Be angry. But don’t allow the anger to consume you and change who you are. Ask for God’s help in releasing you from anger as soon as it rears its ugly head. Waiting ‘until morning’ may allow Satan to take you captive.
PRAYER: Dear Father. I confess to you that I am filled with anger today. I thank You that You understand far more than anyone else how hurt I am. I want to be released from the anger I feel. Empower me through Your Holy Spirit to live with the confidence that nothing and no one will ever change the fact that I am Your child. Amen.
‘and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us’. Matthew 6:12 (NLT)
“I forgive you”. Three of the toughest words we will ever say and perhaps the toughest to live out. There are sometimes when forgiveness is easy. Those times when someone does some small infraction that really had no effect on us. They feel far worse than we do. We forgive them, they feel better and that’s the end of it.
It’s those other times when forgiveness is tough. Those times when we’ve been let down by close friends or family. Once is hard, but then it happens over and over again and we begin to doubt their sincerity. They say they are sorry. They say they will try harder or they will ‘never do that again’ but the more they fail the less we believe their words.
There are times forgiveness seems to be completely impossible. You’ve been hurt. The hurt may be physical. The bruises will heal, but the trust has been broken. While physical hurt is painful, the real pain is in the emotions. Emotional scars heal much slower than physical. Sometimes emotional scars never heal. People you meet on the street everyday wear masks and smiles that hide unbearable pain. They are in the coffee shops and restraints. They are in the doctor’s office and the post office. They are in the schools and the churches. They bear the weight of emotional scars and the baggage of not being able to forgive and move on.
Forgiveness is toughest when it isn’t asked for. You’ve been hurt-badly. Once the physical pain is gone the emotional goes on. The perpetrator knows. He/she just doesn’t care. You are left in a pool of pain, sorrow, embarrassment and hurt. Forgiveness certainly isn’t warranted or deserved. It’s not even asked for! But if you don’t forgive, the pain grows like a painful, cancerous growth producing anger, bitterness and hate.
We don’t forgive others because they ask for it or even deserve it. We forgive to free ourselves from the pain. Forgiveness isn’t about them. It’s about you. To forgive the undeserving isn’t about reconciliation, it’s about freedom.
Jesus says we should pray: ‘and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us’ Matthew 6:12 (NLT). To forgive as we’ve been forgiven! Some forgive conditionally: “If you do this again…”; Others forgive under obligation: “God said I have to forgive you, so I guess I do…”; Others forgive but reserve the right to remind you of this fault at a later, more convenient date.
Jesus says we are to forgive as He does. His forgiveness is complete. All we have to do is come to him, confess our faults and ask forgiveness. Then we move on, trusting His Holy Spirit to empower us to try harder. Sometimes we succeed. Sometimes we struggle and fail. Always we are forgiven by Him.
There are some people who have hurt you deeply. Forgiveness won’t come through your power. It won’t come overnight. It will some as you rely on God to empower you with the ability to let go of the pain caused by others and be free to let go. Forgiving doesn’t make you less of a person, it makes you more like Jesus.
PRAYER: Father God. You know my heart. There are people in my life that have hurt me deeply and continue to do so. I’m angry, I’m frustrated and bitter. I know I should forgive but have no power to do so. I want to be free of this pain. I want to let go and live more like Jesus. I confess my inability to you and ask you to forgive me. Empower me with your Spirit to forgive and live free of this burden. I Jesus name, Amen.
Mike Fisk & Built with Grace 