You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘divorce’ tag.
A king is pleased with a wise servant, but he will become angry with one who causes him shame. Proverbs 14:35 (NCV)
I’ve always wanted to play piano. My mom played piano. She read music…a little. But she also had the ability to hear a song and then sit down at the piano an in a few minutes be able to play a simple version of the song. God’s given me a love for music. He gave me a mom that was more than willing to teach me to play. I can’t play the piano. Never found the time to practice.
My inability to play the piano is a small example of something we all struggle with and that’s taking the time to do the small things that lead to greater achievement later on in life. When I was a boy, practicing the piano for a half hour a day seemed like a huge investment of time. But that small investment would have produced greater results later in life.
Sometimes neglecting the little things in life have relatively unimportant results. For example, I can’t play the piano, but I can enjoy the ability others have to do so. But sometimes neglecting the little things in life have life-changing effects.
My wife calls them the ‘I’m Gonna’s’. All those little things we say we are going to do…someday. “I’m gonna write a book”; “I’m gonna start to exercise”; “I’m gonna help more around the house”. You can add to that list.
Sometimes we may realize that our “I’m gonna’s’ are lofty dreams, such as the child-hood dream of “Someday I’m going to be president!” Other times the failure to do the “I’m gonna’s’ lead to disaster.
It’s sad to say, but there are many marriages that have failed because one or both (usually both) people in the relationship have overlooked the little things. Things like helping with housework or putting household duties aside to sit with the kids or spend time together. Relationships aren’t destroyed by the big things in life. Many families have worked through affairs and illness and financial disaster. I believe it’s because those families have done the little things that create a bond that nothing can sever.
The proverbs say, “A King is pleased with a wise servant.” Servant’s had a pretty menial existence. They were the ones that cleaned the palace and cooked the food. They built the buildings and tended to the gardens and the livestock. Their actions were small, but when done right, were noticed by the king.
God doesn’t expect us to accomplish huge results in life. He doesn’t ask for perfection. Your Heavenly Father is far more interested in what you are doing than what you hope to accomplish.
If you are a minister he’s far more excited about how your family is than he is how large your church is. If you are a business owner he’s far more pleased with how your customers are treated than he is the black ink in your ledger. As a husband he’s far more impressed with your attitude when your wife asks you to hold her purse in the mall, or your child asks you to sit with them and read when the big ball game is on.
What ‘I’m gonna’s’ are on your list? Choose one thing today to work on and DO IT! It’s the little things that make a big difference.
PRAYER: Lord, I’m so frustrated right now with my inability to do the small things in life. There is so much I want to accomplish, yet I struggle to do the little things. Help me to start today to tackle the ‘I’m gonna’s in my life. Amen.
However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace. Acts 20:24
Few Jews would take the shorter route through Samaria even if it was a shorter and easier route along the Jordan River. The Samaritans and Jews had been enemies for years and the biggest point of contention was where and how to worship God.
One day Jesus took the short route (John 4) from Jerusalem home to Galilee. John’s account of the story said he ‘had to go through Samaria’. He didn’t have to go through Samaria for physical reasons. He ‘had to go through Samaria’ because someone had a meeting with destiny and he ‘had’ to be there for that.
It was noon when he arrived at the small hamlet of Sychar. All the respectable women of the town where home tending to family. Everyone knew it was cooler and easier to fill the water jugs in the morning. Besides, it was a great time to catch up with the gossip and connect with friends.
So why did Jesus meet the woman at the well at this odd time? She was avoiding people. She was the talk of the town. Married five times, living with a man that wasn’t her husband. We aren’t told how many families she’d broken up. How many children were fatherless because she came into the picture? She’d evidently given up on the concept of marriage after five times and decided to live ‘in sin’ with man #6.
She was a tenacious woman. Even after all she’d been through she still had an edge to her. Jesus asks for a drink and she snaps, “Who are you, a Jew, to ask me for a drink.”
Jesus mentions God and the woman tries to pick a fight. “We Samaritans worship the right way. You Jews are wrong about Jerusalem.”
Okay, maybe that isn’t exactly what she said, but think about how often our first step, when it comes to spiritual things, is to defend our doctrine, theology or denominational affiliation and distinctive.
Jesus dodges the issue. “Worshipping God isn’t about a place, or about a style. It’s about the heart. If you’d asked me I could give you something to fill that huge hole in yours.”
Now he had her attention. Six men. Six relationships. Six chances at being filled and still nothing. You know the rest of the story. After her talk with Jesus she goes into town. Everyone knew her because of her reputation. After her testimony, everyone knew Jesus because of the change he brought into her life.
The enemy lies to us about our Testimony. He tells us that our identity comes from our religious affiliation. (I’m a Baptist; I’m a Lutheran; I’m Methodist) He urges us to skirt the real issues of the heart and concentrate on externals. The Lie: Good Christians are known by their noisy Stand.
The word testimony comes from the word root word meaning witness. It carries with it the idea of a firsthand authentication of a fact, or of evidence of something seen or experienced. Effective testimony is an outward sign of an inner change.
Many believed in Jesus because of the woman’s testimony. It wasn’t polished. It wasn’t backed with scripture and training. It didn’t direct people to a particular denomination or religious persuasion. It was a simple message, Come and See:
- Come and See the man that knows me;
- Come and See the man that loves me;
- Come and See the man that understands me;
- Come and See the man that respects me (no other man ever has);
- Come and See the man who is more interested in relationship that religion.
The Truth Statement in the battle for our testimony is this, “Our testimony steers people away from religion and towards a personal, passionate love relationship with Jesus.
PRAYER: Father, I sometimes get so caught up in myself and man-made rules that I forget that all you really want is to have a relationship with those around me. Empower me by your Spirit to refrain from steering people to religion. May my life show others the relationship I have with you. Amen.
And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven like a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. Revelation 21:2(NLT)
There is nothing so stunning as the bride as she walks down the aisle. We all stand as she enters. All eyes are on her. Even those of us guys who maintain our stoic ‘masculine’ image will admit in our honest times, that we are taken back by the moment.
The groom watches her enter. His face mesmerized by her beauty. To him, there’ s no one else in the room. In fact, both the groom and the bride, when their eyes meet are taken out of this world for a moment. They are the only two in the whole world that matters. She is the most important thing in his life at that moment. He is the prince of her dreams.
The moment is filled with hope and passion. Those of us lucky enough to look on remember our own weddings or the dreams we have of one day, walking that aisle or watching the one we love come to us in radiance.
What a marvelous picture of hope, expectation and passion. How fitting that this is the picture the Word of God gives of us as the church meeting the object of our passion: Jesus of Nazareth. Regardless of how we or others view ourselves, He views us as the groom views the bride. We are spotless, pure, perfect in every way, the object of his passion. Forever.
Not one of us has ever walked that aisle or waited at the front of the room without believing that this was it, this was the happily ever after, this was the ‘til death do us part.’ Even those of us who have experienced the painful reality of divorce entered that relationship believing that this was the ‘one for us.’
The difference is, this relationship with Jesus…it never will end. We are his and his forever. Every day, when we get out of bed, no matter how bad we look in the mirror, he sees us as his radiant bride, the object of his passion. He smiles whenever he looks at us. He pauses constantly to think of us. We are always on his mind. This marriage relationship will never grow old, never be taken for granted, never lose the passion of that wedding day.
What a glorious feast that will be! Now we struggle. We rebel. We endure the pain of broken relationships, financial hardship and political turmoil. In the midst of our struggle, even during those times we can’t see Jesus clearly, he sees us…and smiles.
PRAYER: Dear Jesus, I have a hard time imagining the fact of your passionate love for me. My love is so often shallow and built on performance. Relationships here on earth are marked by trouble and calamity. They grow cold and even die. Thank you that you always see me with the passion of a groom on his wedding day. In your name, Amen.
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Philippians 4:12
A friend of mine makes the statement “You can do anything for awhile if you see the end in sight.” There is some truth to this statement. If we know the struggle we are in is temporary we know we can probably endure. For example, a runner will see the finish line ahead and often get a quick burst of adrenaline that helps to cross the finish line.
But what about in the spiritual life? What about those times along this journey we call life when we don’t know the outcome. When the doctor’s report isn’t what we’d hoped. When our children start making bad choices. When our spouse begins to drift from us emotionally. What then? If we don’t see the end in sight what helps us to keep going?
It’s during those times when life seems uncertain that we need to look at the life of Paul and his motivation for moving on. Today’s verse seems like a ‘pie in the sky by and by’ statement until we realize what had happened in the life of Paul. He’d been stoned and left for dead. He’d been lost at sea after a shipwreck. He had spent nights in the cold dark cell of prisons and, on one occasion, lived through an earthquake while underground. Relationally he was hated by many of his closest friends, held in suspicion by his new friends, critiqued for his preaching and leadership styles, and now, sat in a Roman prison awaiting execution!
So with all that history and an uncertain future what was his secret to ‘being content’? Paul had learned the hard way that God can see us through anything. What Paul is NOT saying is that life in Christ is a breeze, and void of any adversity or conflict. What Paul IS saying is that every time he came upon an obstacle he found that his faith in Jesus Christ was powerful enough to see him through!
In Christ you can do anything when you realize that whatever is going on in your life is temporary. Temporary in the sense that here on earth the worst that could happen is death, and, for the Christ-follower the best that could happen is to be transformed from this frail human body into the glorious body we receive when we see Jesus.
Learning contentment comes from seeing how God helps you through adversity. Sometimes you don’t see it until you’ve come through the fire or through the flood. Sometimes you don’t realize it until after the divorce or miscarriage. Sometimes you won’t realize it until you are on the other side of life, looking back as Paul did.
The Psalmist says (Psalm 34:8) to taste and see that the Lord is good. Until we’ve tasted of his goodness through adversity we will never learn contentment in this life.
PRAYER: Father, thank you for the reminder that you know better than anyone what I’m going through right now. I don’t see even a hint of light at the end of this tunnel. I have no idea what lays on the other side. Empower me with your spirit to taste your goodness in the light of this trial. Let me look back on my life to see how you have seen me through. With you on my side I know I can ‘do anything’ because my future is in your hands. In Jesus name, Amen.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. Psalm 34:18 (NLT)
Tragedy brings people together. Earthquakes, tornadoes, hurricanes and the devastation of conflict or famine awaken a part of us that says, “I’ll help you”. Those motivate to help aren’t limited to social class, race or ethnic groups or religious orientation. In fact, sometimes those who are the most financially insecure are the ones who will give more (percentage-wise) than the wealthy.
All of that is good, but sometimes the biggest hurts people experience are the ones where they suffer alone. A broken heart doesn’t show itself in public. We’ve learned how to hide that behind a false smile, and various activities like drugs, new relationships, political and social action or even religion. Some people spend their entire lives doing ‘things’ to try to cure the pain of a broken heart.
Perhaps one of the hardest things to deal with in relation to a broken heart is that we often suffer alone. Oh, we have friends and neighbors who bring food and comfort during times of mourning and illness. There’s often community and government help to rebuild houses and businesses destroyed by natural disaster. But while that may help soothe the pain, it doesn’t cure the pain.
All the food and all the human comfort and all the financial support in the world won’t heal a broken heart. That’s where Jesus comes in. Well meaning friends and compassionate governments can restore physical property, but only Jesus can come alongside you and completely understand your pain. He may not remove the obstacles in your life, but he can give strength to endure in the battle.
It was Jesus who stood beside the mom who’d lost her daughter. It was Jesus who wept over the death of a dear friend. It was Jesus who stood by the desperate father of a demon-possessed, seizure stricken little boy. It was Jesus who brought hope to the woman at the well, a victim of broken relationships, who’d not only had five husbands, but after five divorces she could no longer take the chance of failing again. It was Jesus who provided the food for over 5,000 hungry men, women and children. He calmed storms, gave hope to the crippled and restored those victimized by religious intolerance.
What is your struggle today? What pain are you hiding because no one else understands? Jesus Christ promises to come along side you. He understands your pain like no one else. He alone can bring peace in the midst of your storm.
PRAYER: Dear Jesus. Although I’m smiling on the outside for the world to see, my soul aches today. No one understands how I feel. I’m afraid to share my true feelings with those around me for fear of being misunderstood. Thank you for understanding me. Comfort me in my distress. In your name I pray, Amen.
