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He was hated and rejected; his life was filled with sorrow and terrible suffering. No one wanted to look at him. We despised him and said, “He is a nobody!” Isaiah 53:3 (CEV)
Loneliness and rejection are evil twins. Together they rob us of our feeling of security and self-confidence. They team up with weapons that destroy our ability to love others, love God and perhaps most importantly, love ourselves.
There are times in each of our lives when we feel the scorn of rejected love; times when loneliness envelopes us like some dark cloud. Those feelings of rejection may be the result of our own doing, our own greed, our own self-centeredness, our own demanding personality.
The evil twins may attack us through the abusive actions of other people as well. Broken relationships are the weapon of choice for the twins. Struggles in the work place, or at school make us dread having to get up in the morning. The battle for our health leaves us weary. Even our own family members may abandon us for a variety of reasons leaving us full of despair.
The good news is that you are not alone. Regardless of the attacks on your soul, you are not rejected. Men may reject you, but there is one who knows rejection like none other and he will never reject you. He will never leave you alone.
His name is Jesus of Nazareth. No one in all of time has ever been as rejected as he was (and is). He left his father in heaven to walk among men. These were the very people that he created for the purpose of having a vibrant, passionate love relationship with. Yet few really loved him in the beginning and in the end, even those closest to him, those who pledged undying love, left him to die alone.
Jesus knew rejection. Jesus knew loneliness. Even his own father was forced to turn his back on him because of the sin he bore; our sin that he took in our place. Jesus most haunting words were some of the last he spoke before he died, “My God, My God! Why have you too forsaken me?” Everyone else had rejected him in his hour of deepest need, and now even his dad had turned his head.
To this day, his name turns people away. Talk about God and you are a person of faith; talk about Jesus and you are a religious fanatic. It’s okay to be ‘spiritual’ but claim there is only one way to peace with God and you are intolerant. Believing in heaven is full of hope, but talk of hell and eternal damnation is cruel and harsh.
I’ll say it again. You are not alone. You are not rejected by everyone. The one person who knows rejection better than anyone has not rejected you regardless of what you have done. The one who has experienced ultimate loneliness will never leave you alone. He’s waiting with open arms to hear your story, to see your heart and to comfort you in your deepest need.
PRAYER: Lord Jesus there are times when I get so caught up in ‘religion’ or ‘spirituality’ that I forget the relationship. There are times when the feelings of loneliness and rejection overwhelm me. Thank you for accepting me as I am. Thank you for never leaving me, even when I walk away from you. Amen.
But it was because the Lord loved you and kept the oath he swore to your ancestors that he brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed you from the land of slavery, from the power of Pharaoh king of Egypt. Deuteronomy 7:8 (NIV)
There is nothing more secure than the personal prisons we can find ourselves locked into.
The prison of loneliness can keep us trapped even when dwelling in the midst of close family and friends who are completely unaware of the battle within us.
The unrelenting handcuffs of addiction keep us shackled to feelings of guilt and shame. Guilt of our own doing fueled by the disapproving glances of those who spend more time gazing at specks in the eyes of others while ignoring the planks in their own eyes. Shame because we know better but we can’t help ourselves out of the mix.
We dwell in the solitary confinement of broken relationships. On the one hand we want desperately to get out. On the other hand fear of the outcome and not knowing how we could do life any differently keep us from reaching for the keys that enable us to see ourselves as the gifted talented people we are.
There are so many other prisons that keep us enslaved. Some, like finances/debt, handicapping conditions, and health issues are badges we wear that others identify us by even though we wish we could shed them.
Physical shackles are hard to endure, but they are no match for the emotional/relational wounds of the soul that handcuff us on a daily basis. These are the feelings that are hidden from others yet still define who we are and how we react to the problems of life.
Even though we try many different things to try to relieve the pain or at least dull its effects, nothing seems to help. Frustration and despair become strange bedfellows to failure and defeat. We ask ourselves, isn’t there someone who sees my plight? Is there anyone who understands me and loves me for who I am, bruises and all?
The answer is a resounding YES! The Creator God of the universe loves you. He’s not the god you may have learned about in religion. He’s not the judgmental, angry, accusing god at the other end of a pointing finger of accusation. He’s promised to love you. Not because of anything you’ve done. In fact, He loves you inspire of what you have done. He requires nothing in return. He simply wants to destroy the walls of the prison you find yourself in, destroy the chains, and release the shackles.
Regardless of what the voices in your mind tell you, you are loved. He proved that by sending Jesus to die for you, to redeem you from prison. Accept his love. Accept his forgiveness. Live free! Pray this prayer and begin your life of freedom.
PRAYER: Thank you God for loving me so much. I’m lonely, defeated and full of shame and guilt. Forgive me for the sin, anger, hate and hurt I hold so tightly too. Fill me with your Spirit of love and freedom so I can be all you want me to be. Amen.
Remember Jesus Christ, raised from the dead, descended from David. This is my gospel. 2 Timothy 2:8 (NIV)
Just two little words but they mean all the difference in the world. Two little words that can change how we push forward during those times of grief when a dearly loved person dies and leaves us with a huge hole in our lives, a hole that will never be completely filled.
Two little words that give us strength to endure a relationship that is far from fulfilling; that shatters our dreams; that saps our lives of the energy we need to use our gifts to reach the potential long buried under the sands of time.
Two little words that offer hope as we kneel by the bed of a sick child, or read a letter from a distant son or daughter. Two little words that help us see new light in the midst of old struggle.
Remember Jesus.
Remember the one who promised he would never ever leave you or forsake you. Remember the one who lifts you up, looks you in the eye and says gently, “Then neither do I condemn thee.” Remember the one who stops from his busy schedule to touch you so that you can see. Remember the one who cries with you, rejoices with you and encourages you on the way.
Sitting on the mantle in front of me as I write this is a US Flag folded into a triangle. It’s a special flag given to the families of veterans when they die. The flag is special. Not because of the nation it stands for, or the freedom that flag represents. It’s special because that flag was given when my dad died. Sitting beside that flag is a picture of dad. When I look at those two items there is almost always a memory of all he meant to me, and a reminder that someday we’ll be united again in glory.
Paul, in perhaps his final hours tells his young pastor friend to always remember Jesus. Always take him with you, remember that he is the basis for all we do. He is the motivation for our existence, indeed he is the very reason for our existence.
Take the banner of heaven with you today. Have a picture of Jesus placed firmly in your mind. Regardless of the hurdles you encounter on the journey, he will always be there with you. He’s the shoulder you can cry on; the friend you can vent to; the partner you can celebrate with. He loves you. Never ever forget that, and because of his great love for you, you are always on his mind.
PRAYER: Lord Jesus, I have many challenges ahead of me today. Thank you for the promises you have given me of your constant companionship and unending love. Fill me with your Spirit and empower me to see your way on the journey. Help me remember you. Amen.
How long must I be confused and miserable all day? How long will my enemies keep beating me down? Psalm 13:2 (CEV)
It’s a question we all ask. It comes in a variety of ways, for a variety of reasons. But its meaning and source are the same.
How long will my loved one have to suffer from this cancer? How long will I have to endure a marriage that isn’t fulfilling for me or the kids? How long will this job hunt last? How long will I have to wait for that doctor’s report? How long will this addiction keep me enslaved? How long…?
We can try to find things to take our focus off the question. Some of our activities to try to take our focus off the question are noble. We volunteer. We go to church. We enter some ministry to help others. But when we go home at night, in the silence of our own minds the question lurks.
Sometimes we try other things that aren’t quite so noble. We have an affair. We turn to drugs or alcohol. We blame God. We worry. Wait, worry? Is it fair to list worry in the same paragraph as affairs, drugs or blaming God? Sadly, yes. For worry is just another way we say (unintentionally perhaps) that God can’t or won’t take care of you for whatever the reason.
The question hounds us relentlessly. Day and night it lurks in the shadows waiting for an opportune time to attack. A time when our minds, weary from trying to avoid the question lets its guard down. That’s when the enemy attacks.
The enemy, of course, is Satan and we must never lose sight of the fact that celebrates those times when he can keep us subdued. He and is wicked cohorts give each other high fives when we focus so much on the question that we lose sight of the only one who can give the answer.
He’s ruthless too. He not only uses his own mind-bending tactics to attack your soul and mind, he uses people. Sometimes he coerces good church-going people who kick you when you are down in the name of Jesus. Other times he uses evil people intent on causing you harm. Physical harm is bad enough, but those bruises will heal. Emotional bruises on the other hand are hidden from view and take years to heal, if ever.
How long? The answer is two-fold. First of all, our deliverance will come in a time that is best for us. Secondly, the answer will only come from a vibrant faith in God that says, regardless of how long I suffer, I put my trust in thee.
PRAYER: Father, in the midst of my despair, confusion and frustration I confess I’ve lost my focus. I’m focusing so much on the question that I’m crippled from finding you, or the answer for that matter. I thank you that you see my very soul and that you are with me even when I can’t find you. Amen.
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. Psalm 56:3
I was only about six years old. We were living at a cabin for the summer and I enjoyed having the lake and summer friends to play with. I particularly enjoyed the boat trips across the lake to my grandfathers’ cabin. Much as I loved that summer, there was one incident that stays solid in my mind. I loved the boat rides and I loved playing in the water as long as I could touch bottom. If I couldn’t touch bottom I was terrified because I couldn’t swim.
One day a friend of mine and I were playing in the water and around an old row boat on shore. We pulled the boat out far enough to float on it and play around it. In the course of our play I somehow ended up in the boat and out farther than I wanted to be. My friend lost his grip on the boat and I was suddenly ‘free floating’ with no oars, no life-jacket and no adult within sight. I panicked! I was sure I was going to drown and screamed for help. In the midst of my fear my older brother came running and walked out into the water to rescue me. Turns out that even though I thought I was over my head, I wasn’t. I just couldn’t see the bottom.
Fear plays strange games with us and we live in a society that mocks fear and praises the ‘heroes of our lives’ that baulk at fear and act courageously in dangerous situations. Even religion glorifies bravery and ridicules fear. Ever heard a positive sermon on the terrified disciples in the storm? Most likely, not. We focus on Jesus’ rebuke of the wind and storm.
Fear can have a positive effect on our lives. We should never discount fear as an improper emotion in the life of a Christ-follower. The truth of that fact is illustrated in the book of Psalms and elsewhere. David says ‘When I’m afraid’ not ‘IF I’m afraid.’ Although he prayed and trusted God, you can’t tell me there wasn’t some fear in the heart of Daniel when he was lowered into the Lion’s Den; or in Moses as he walked into Pharaoh’s palace; or in Isaac as he lay on the altar while his father approached him with the butcher knife from the kitchen. Fear is real!
Fear isn’t the issue though; it’s what we do with the fear in our lives that counts. Fear can force us to rely closer on God or drive us to our own resources. The question isn’t if it’s okay to be afraid, the question is who (or what) do I turn to when I’m afraid.
Fear can cause us to move forward cautiously. Fear of broken relationships with God or others can keep us from sin. Fear can help us grow wiser as we carefully look at the possible consequences and outcomes of each situation.
Don’t let the fear in your life keep you defeated. Use it to grow closer to God, stronger in faith and more powerful in the Spirit!
PRAYER: Father God, I thank you that you understand my fears. I pray that you would enable me to use the fears I have to grow closer to you, to walk wisely and to live victoriously. Thank you that during the biggest times of fear in my life I can trust you to see me through. Amen.
