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Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs. Proverbs 10:12
Many years ago I 
was playing on a church softball team. It was our first year playing in the league and we weren’t very good. Most of our players were young teens, some had never really played ball.
One week we were playing one of the better teams in the league and, as expected, it wasn’t much of a game. On one particular play a rather large woman on the other team was running from first to second. Our second base-person, a small 12-year-old girl, was just getting ready to catch the ball and make the play at the base when she was completely flattened by the base runner, jarring the ball loose so that she arrived safely on base. Fair play? Yes. Appropriate under the conditions, I thought not.
I went out to help the girl up and make sure she was okay. As I left I had a few choice, not exactly Christian, words for the base runner who was now standing smugly on base. The guy who was with me grabbed my arm and helped me off the field as the woman said “Hey, it was her fault. She was in the baseline.”
I stood in the dugout seething about the dangerous play and smug attitude of the base-runner until a small voice inside reminded me that ‘Hatred stirs up dissension’. My anger turned to conviction for my words and as the inning ended I headed out to the field. I took a slight side trip and walked by the opposing dugout, not to get a parting shot, but to apologize to Joyce, the base-runner.
The next day at work I was talking with a friend of mine who happened to have been playing on the other team the night before. In the course of our conversation he chuckled and said “Boy, you really sent Joyce spinning last night.”
I asked what he meant and he explained that Joyce didn’t have much respect from anyone on the team. They were all angry with her behavior the night before and she had done similar things in other games. But after I apologized for my outburst she walked around the rest of the game asking ‘Why did he say that?’ ‘Why did he apologize.’
My words of apology had sent a message far deeper into her soul than the outburst I’d sent her way earlier.
There are always going to be people in our lives that hurt us. There will always be those who betray us, lie to us and in some way abuse us. When we’ve been wronged the easy way out is to become angry, defensive and full of hate. The healthy way out is to practice forbearance. By definition forbearance means to have patience, self-control, restraint and tolerance. Forbearance doesn’t mean I agree with the way you are. It doesn’t mean I’ll trust you again. It doesn’t mean what you did doesn’t matter.
What forbearance does mean is that in the name of love I will forgive you. Forgiveness is for the benefit of the one wronged, not the perpetrator of the hurt. In other words, I forgive you for what you did to me so I can be healthy.
Forbearance can’t be practiced effectively without help from the Holy Spirit of God. When we are in tune with our Heavenly Father; when we live in recognition of the pain he bore, the patience he has with us; the power we have available to us through his Spirit, then, and only then can we live at peace with those who we don’t agree with or oppose us.
May each of us learn to daily live in the power of forbearance!
PRAYER: Father God, I pray for those of us who are living under the weight of abuse and hurt. I ask that through the power of your Spirit we may be able to be patient with those who fail us; live a life of self-control when we’d rather lash out; and live in tolerance of those who have different beliefs than ours. In a word, Lord, help us to live in a way that your unconditional love will shine out to others. In Jesus Name, Amen.
(To my readers: Today’s post is in response to the recent accusations of abuse by Minnesota Vikings running back, Adrian Peterson. But in a more general sense, the situation has reminded me of how easy it is to become judgmental. For the believer, hard as it is, grace comes first. )
When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” John 8:7
Maybe it’s because I made a horrific mistake that cost me a career I loved and left me with a criminal record that I’ll carry for the rest of my life.
Maybe it’s because I remember the shame and embarrassment I felt realizing that I’d hurt someone very dear to me, someone I loved and would have protected with my life, but ended up hurting.
Maybe it’s because I remember the looks, the loneliness and the rejection from friends I once thought would be loyal (many professing Christians).
Maybe it’s because I still harbor the wounds of those who still consider me an abuser, and still hear their accusing words.
Maybe it’s because I remember the few that stood by me even though they knew I wasn’t completely innocent.
Maybe it’s because I learned the ground is level under the cross and we are all equally guilty before God.
Maybe it’s because I learned the hard way that the common belief that one is ‘innocent until proven guilty’ is a fallacy and that even though our justice system may still be the best in the world, it’s seriously flawed.
Maybe it’s because I don’t think social media is the place to determine innocence, guilt or character.
Maybe it’s because I learned through my own failings what grace was.
Maybe it’s because, as a parent, there were far too many times I failed.
For whatever the reason, I’ll stand with AP. I don’t agree with what he did, but Jesus died for him too. I expect the secular media to crucify him, not believers. We are to be the last to cast stones, not the first.
Tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord. When it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever.” Joshua 4:7
My aunt died recently and I was given the honor of leading ‘Celebration of Life’ service for this dear, godly woman. As I heard the news about her passing it suddenly occurred to me that my aunt was the youngest child of my grandparents. Each of my grandparent’s three children died in their birth order. More importantly, I thought about the fact that an era had passed.
It doesn’t seem to matter how old you are, when your parents die you feel like an orphan. Whether you are 15 or 50 you wonder, “What will I do now without mom and dad?” Now, my grandparents, parents and aunts and uncles from that side of the family were gone, with only memories to fall back on.
One wonders if the Israelites felt the same way as they crossed the Jordan River and entered the land promised to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. The stones they gathered from the Jordan River became a memorial to remind them of God’s promises.
The stones the leaders of the 12 tribes gathered that day were far more than rocks. Each of those stones was a story. Stories of being held captive, abused and feeling abandoned by God. Stories of watching as, one by one, their parents and grandparents died in the wilderness. Stories of fear, confusion, doubt and grief.
As instructed, the leaders took those stones, those stories as it were, and made them into a monument. A monument to remind the Israelites and their children of the struggles in their past. But that pile of rocks meant one more thing that we must remember in our lives. That pile of stories spoke loudly and clearly the message that God delivers on His promises.
There will be times in our life when we are filled with grief, despair, confusion and anger. There will be times in our lives when we are under physical, emotional or spiritual attack. There will be times in our lives when we will feel completely abandoned by God. There will be times in our lives when we feel we have failed so badly that there is no hope.
That’s when each of us must look at those piles of stones and remind ourselves that God delivers on his promises. There was another ‘pile of stones’ that we look to for this reassurance. That ‘pile of stones’ so to speak is called Golgotha. It held the cross of our Lord and Savior and reminds us once again, that God delivers on his promises.
Each of us is building a memorial for those behind us. May we be building stones of remembrance to lead our children and our children’s children to the promises of God’s deliverance through Jesus Christ. May they be able to say about us that in spite of our failures and in spite of our shortcomings, we showed them the path of deliverance.
The ARC and at many other camps and retreat centers offer us the opportunity to ‘come away and rest’ awhile. It’s often during these times of solitude that we are able to step back and reflect on the stories of our own lives and re-energize ourselves to make a difference in the lives of those around us.
What stones [stories] of remembrance are you building for those coming behind you?
PRAYER: Father God. I praise you for the promises you have fulfilled in my lifetime. Forgive me for forgetting to notice the many ways you deliver me daily. Forgive me for the times my lifestyle has been rebellious. Help me by the power of your Holy Spirit to be building stones of remembrance that will guide those who follow me to you. In Jesus name, Amen.
He was a rookie, not just any rookie but one who immediately made an impact on the NBA in general and his upstart team in particular. The other guy was a seasoned veteran with a couple rings on his finger. He was tough, well-known and confident.
Maybe that’s why he fouled the rookie late in a game in which the upstart team was within seconds of an upset. After a brief time-out for strategy the veteran approached the rookie as he took his place on the lane. The TV cameras caught the exchange. The most novice lip-reader could see the ‘advice’ the veteran gave the rookie: “Don’t be short.”
All eyes were on the rookie who had made several of these shots earlier in the game. This was for the win. This would make the highlight reels. It would have that is unless the ball bounced off the front of the rim. The opposition grabbed the ball, moved it down the floor and shot the winning shot. The problem wasn’t that the rookie missed the shot, the real problem was that he lost his focus. Rather than thinking about the ball going through the hoop, he thought about the ball being short, which of course, it was.
Our focus determines how we respond to life’s circumstances. If our focus is on the negative, or on the problem itself we live defeated. If our focus is on the positive, on working towards or seeking solutions our chances of making it through the crisis are multiplied.
Jesus knew about focus. When he first appeared on the scene that night in Bethlehem his focus was on growing up in faith and maturity. Our only glimpse of him as a child was in the temple where his focus was obviously on learning. Luke tells us he returned home to grow physically, spiritually, emotionally and intellectually.
Life changed dramatically when he was anointed by the Holy Spirit and his focus changed from being Jesus, son of Mary to being Jesus, Son of God and he began a ministry of spiritual and physical healing in the Judean countryside.
However, perhaps the biggest change comes as Luke records it in Luke 9:51 when Jesus turned his face towards Jerusalem. Then his focus changed from Jesus Son of God to Jesus, Savior of the world!
While Jesus remained focused on the task at hand, the same can’t be said for his disciples. While he was healing and teaching their focus seemed to be on their position on the ‘discipleship ladder’ and how they could improve it. Countless times it seems Jesus would take his band of brothers aside to remind them that this wasn’t about their position it was about service.
Not only does focus determine how we respond to life circumstances, focus determines the direction of our motivation. If our motivation is on self-preservation our motivation is on defending what we have (or think we have). If our motivation is based on service then our focus is inevitably on others.
Jesus death wasn’t the result of an angry mob. His death didn’t happen by accident. His death wasn’t unplanned. When Jesus set his heart and mind towards Jerusalem and the cross he did it for one reason and one reason alone – his love for you and me. As someone once said, it wasn’t the nails that held Jesus to the cross; it wasn’t my sin that held him to the cross. It was his love for me that held him to the cross.
John 10:18 says, “No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father.”
What an amazing statement! Jesus loves me so much that he willingly suffered on the cross for my sin and for yours as well. There is nothing we can do to earn this love. There is nothing more to give, no sacrifice asked for. All that’s required is acceptance of his grace and mercy behalf. What a savior. What a Lord.
PRAYER: Lord Jesus. I’m in awe as I remember the motivation for your trip to Jerusalem. You knew what lay ahead of you, yet you bore the pain of the cross for me because of your great love for me. Empower me with your Spirit so that I can focus my life on serving you by loving others. In your name I pray, Amen.
A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. In faithfulness he will bring forth justice; he will not falter or be discouraged till he establishes justice on earth. In his teaching the islands will put their hope.”Isaiah 42:3-4
Our family loves to go camping every opportunity we can. There’s something about hooking up the camper and heading into the woods to get away from it all, even if for only a couple days. On one such camping trip we stopped at the gift shop of the campgrounds we would call home for several days.
While we all love camping, my daughter enjoys it the most. She like the conveniences of a full service campground with playgrounds and pools, but she is equally enthralled with escaping to the remotest places in the world (our world anyway) to enjoy the barest of facilities.
On this particular occasion she saw a fire-starting kit complete with flint and steel. Now, mind you, I am NOT a Boy Scout. My idea of starting a fire in remote areas is making sure my Aim & Flame is fresh and ready to go! However, we bought the kit and proceeded to our campsite to start the fire that would cook our supper.
The task was quite a challenge for one novice and a young child. We tried over and over to get the flame started. A couple times we got a small piece of leaf to smolder but time and again it would die out and we’d have to start over. I confess to you that we gave up. Hunger proved more of an incentive than rustic living!
When Isaiah was writing to the nation of Israel they were a tired nation. Largely due to their own rebellion, they were suffering under enemy rule as God’s judgment of their idolatry. They were tired. They were full of hopelessness. They saw no easy solution to their problems. Many died never seeing the deliverance promised them.
Later, Matthew would quote Isaiah in his gospel. Not many things had changed for Israel. They were still a people under bondage. They were still a people in hopeless despair. They were economically depressed, politically oppressed and religiously distressed. Then Jesus came.
Isaiah’s description of the Messiah was just what the people needed in his day, during the time Jesus walked this earth and today as well.
We need a Savior who will understand the delicacy of a smoldering wick. We need a Savior that understands our fragile condition. We need a Savior that realizes that just one more puff of wind may put an end to our ability to cope.
As we feel the life ebb from our emotional souls it’s easy to look for the easy solution, to look at what I like to call the three R’s of life: Religion, Riches and Relationships. The problem is that we have learned, or are learning the hard way that none of these help. All of them may seem to fan the flame for a time, but eventually they snuff us out.
Jesus didn’t come to snuff out our flame. He didn’t come to break us into submission. This God that can calm the storm; this God that hangs the stars in their place; this God that casts out demons, is also a God of gentleness. He comes to shore us up in our weakness, to fan the flame that has all but died out in our souls.
Regardless of what is attacking you now, realize that Jesus Christ came to gently, but firmly rekindle the flame within you. It may take time, but he has all the time in the world.
PRAYER: Lord Jesus, I thank you this morning for the power you showed in the storms of Galilee; how you healed the sick, the lame and those hounded by demons. Most of all, Lord Jesus I thank you that in my weakest moments when I feel the flame of my hope about to be snuffed out, you come to me to fan the flame once again in my soul. Amen.
Mike Fisk & Built with Grace 