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Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy. Proverbs 14:10
An old Native American saying goes something like this: “Never judge a man until you have walked two miles in his moccasins.” This saying should be the battle cry of each of us as we travel life’s journey. We should think twice, or even three times before we judge the attitudes and actions of other people. We may not like what we see. We may disagree completely with their response to events in their lives. But we should never make a judgment about why they are doing what they do.
God wired each of us differently. Parents know this. What other explanation is there for the way their children grow up? Two lives brought into the world by the same parents. Both have the same opportunities. Both have the same background experiences. Yet one child will grow up angry and the other patient and kind; one child will be a people person while the other is more of a social misfit; One will follow the rules while the other will seek every chance they get to break them; one will love and serve God while the other will reject faith.
No one reacts the same exact way to any situation. Yet we tend to expect that of people. If God works one way in your life, you expect Him to work the same way in someone else’s life. You may enjoy working with your hands while someone else enjoys office work or computer work. Is one better than the other? Is one more rewarding? To you maybe, but not to someone else.
Proverbs 14:10 reminds us of two great truths for Christ-followers. First of all, take great care in how you respond or react to someone’s actions or attitudes. You may see them as being inappropriate and they may be. But until you know the whole story, don’t assume you know the reason someone acts the way they do.
Secondly, remember that God knows your heart. Just as He expects us to be patient and understanding with those around us, He is patient and understanding towards us. He knows, better than anyone else, why you are struggling with whatever issue is troubling you today. He understands and desires to come close to you so that he can love you and encourage you.
There is a third lesson to learn from this proverb. The last phrase says: “no one else can share its joy”. There will be times when people will fail to understand why you are so happy. They may try to dispel that joy by pointing out the darkness and turmoil around you. Don’t allow them to keep you from living a life full of happiness and fulfillment. Joy isn’t about surroundings and circumstances. Joy is about inner peace that is only received through a relationship with Jesus Christ.
Your Heavenly Father loves you. Others will say they understand you, but God really does understand you. His sincere and passionate desire is for relationship with you. Don’t let others rob you of all that God has for you. Focus on Him. Your troubles may not disappear, but the inner peace you gain through Jesus will empower you through life’s distress.
PRAYER: Dear God. There are so many people telling me how I should feel. They tell me they understand, but they don’t. They aren’t even close. I thank and praise you for the truth that you do love me and understand me. You look on my heart and see my every emotion. You understand why I am the way I am. Guard me from losing the joy that I have in you. Protect me from those who want to rob me of my joy. Amen.
But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.” Mark 11:25-26 (NLT)
It’s tucked away, almost hidden, within Jesus’ teaching on prayer. The disciples were looking for answers. Jesus had just stated that using the power of prayer the disciples had the ability to move mountains. Then, almost as though He read their minds He answered a question that hadn’t been answered.
It’s as if one (or more) of the disciples was thinking: “I pray. I have faith in you. I believe. I don’t want to move mountains. I just want to understand my kids!” Jesus tells them that to have real power, to see God move mightily in your life and in the lives of others around you, here is the secret. Forgive.
Unresolved conflict and anger bind us and our prayer lives. When we harbor grudges, judgmental attitudes and a critical spirit against someone else it keeps Gods power from manifesting itself through us.
It’s interesting to note what Jesus doesn’t say in this passage. He doesn’t tell the disciples to “Go and have a conversation with the person and tell them you forgive them.” His statement concerns His followers DURING their prayer time. While they are praying, during the very process of their time with the Heavenly Father, forgive.
Forgiving others does not condone what they have done to you. If you have been abused, especially emotionally, the abuser won’t admit to anything anyway. It doesn’t require any action on the part of the perpetrator of your wound.
Forgiveness of others is between you and God. No one else needs to be involved. While there may be times when God will eventually lead you to confront the person you need to forgive, it really is an agreement between you and your Heavenly Father to release yourself from their grip of hate, anger or pain.
Forgiveness frees you. When you are angry at someone, it could be because of some intentional act on their part, or something that they did unintentionally, it causes a wound that refuses to heal. Forgiveness is a healing salve that comforts and soothes. Forgiveness is for your benefit, not the benefit of anyone else.
Forgiveness is humanly initiated, yet supernaturally accomplished. Sometimes the pain we endure is so great that we have to come to the Father over and over again to confess our inability to let go of the pain that was caused. The first step to healing is to confess our pain and anger to God and ask Him to empower you to forgive. From that point forward it is His working in you, and in the situation to free you from the horrific bondage of a wounded soul.
Forgiveness takes time. It isn’t some magic oil that you apply once to the wound and it’s gone. When you bear a grudge or have been hurt in some way it is like a physical wound, in some cases worse than that. Just as the wound take time to heal, forgiveness takes time to work its way through the pain. Be patient. Don’t allow the abuse or mistakes of your past to imprison you. Let the healing salve of forgiveness free you for all God has in store.
PRAYER: Heavenly Father. I never thought I’d have to admit to you that I harbor hatred towards others. Some of my hatred is because of what has been done to my loved ones. Some of it is because of direct or indirect attacks from others. Some of it, I confess, is a result of my inability to remember that I’m your child and I’ve allowed others to attack who I am in you. Help me to forgive. Empower me with your Spirit today to free myself from the prison others have me in. Show me grace so that I can show it to others. Thank you for loving me. Amen.
Listen to the words of the wise; apply your heart to my instruction. For it is good to keep these sayings in your heart and always ready on your lips. I am teaching you today—yes, you—so you will trust in the Lord. Proverbs 22:17-19 (NLT)
In this world of economic and political uncertainty wise decisions are more important than ever. It’s easy to have opinions about how things should be from a distance, just as it’s easy to coach a professional sporting event from your arm chair.
It’s entirely a different story when it’s your job that’s being ‘eliminated due to corporate restructuring’. It’s more crucial to know how to act when it’s your test results or the test results of a loved one that shows a critical health issue. When it’s you sitting at divorce court or in a jail cell, suddenly knowing how to act/react takes on a whole new meaning. The question of the century becomes: “What should I do?”
Wisdom is a combination of life experiences and learning. Experience is a great teacher, but you can’t possibly experience everything you need to in order to make right choices. The need then, is to balance learning through experience with seeking the counsel of those who have either gone through similar situations or know someone who has.
Wisdom can be learned through active listening. “Active Listening” is where you make a conscious effort to hear not only the words that another person is saying but, more importantly, to try and understand the total message being sent. It means you ask questions, confirm facts and take time to ponder the options.
The foundation of wisdom must come from sources that acknowledge the presence of an Almighty, All-knowing and Sovereign God. True wisdom never contradicts God’s law since God is the complete source of wisdom. Wisdom can, and often does, go against religious dogma and tradition. Wisdom regarding life will always, with no exception, turn you towards the cross of Jesus Christ and the empty tomb. Don’t be deceived by clever attempts to show you a different way.
Wisdom is not a natural result of age. Young people can be very wise. Old people can be very foolish. It’s not based on a person’s title, popularity or money The Apostle Paul says “Let no man look down on your youth” (1 Timothy 4:12). It isn’t age, but rather our ability to listen and learn from God’s word and godly men and women that brings wisdom to our lives.
God’s wisdom never fails. We aren’t God. We will fail. Even after doing all the right things there is always a chance that our decision will lead to failure on some sort. That’s when it is important to remember that there is always forgiveness. We can always come to the cross for failing to act wisely but beware of the consequences. The father will forgive and offer second chances but the consequences may follow you the rest of your life. Think and pray wisely before you act.
PRAYER: Father God. There is so much around me that I don’t understand right now. I don’t understand the cruelty and greed of some people. I don’t understand why I can’t get life right. I’m angry about the way things are in my life and see no way out! Please empower me through Your Holy Spirit to listen actively to Godly advice, draw close to you in relationship through The Bible and Prayer, and trust you for the outcome. Amen.
Mike Fisk & Built with Grace 