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They all continued praying together with some women, including Mary the mother of Jesus, and Jesus’ brothers. Acts 1:14 (NCV)
Deep down inside we’ve all wanted to be accepted by our families. Our play often revolved around doing things ‘like mommy did’ or ‘like daddy did’. There are things we’d pick up on and emulate that now, looking back, probably weren’t the things our parents would have wanted us to notice, much less practice.
There are times when our desire to seek family acceptance can be a positive thing, but other times when that desire can impede our own success and keep us from using our gifts the way God wants us to. Following the footsteps of parents or siblings may or may not be the best practice.
It would have been interesting to see the dynamics of Jesus’ family as he was growing up. History tells us that he was about 30 when he entered the ministry and only ministered for about three years before being brutally murdered. That means that most of his life was lived in the ‘family setting’.
While each of us wants the approval of our family, the reality is that sometimes we have to set aside ‘what the family wants’ for what God wants. Those are hard words as it’s sometimes a fine line between following God and rejecting family. Jesus knew the importance of setting aside the desires of his earthly father for the desires of his Heavenly Father.
In the same way, the ultimate goal for each of us is to do the will of our Heavenly Father. We are called to use our gifts, our finances and our time for his glory. Hopefully that means our decision to follow God will meet with the favor of our family, but there are no guarantees.
At one point in his ministry Jesus’ family comes to speak to him. It was a pivotal time of his ministry and he wasn’t about to be distracted by earthly things. He looked around him and said (my paraphrase) ‘Look around you. Do these people. These are my family. Those who do the will of my Heavenly Father are my family!’
Was Jesus advocating rejection of family? No, he was teaching a principle to follow. If doing the will of the Father contradicts the desires of my family, I must choose Christ. I must do it prayerfully. I must do it gently and with great patience, grace and love. I must do it without bitterness, anger or condemnation of my family. But I must follow Christ.
There is no indication that many, if any of Jesus’ family followed him in ministry. We catch glimpses of his mother Mary from time to time, but it wasn’t until after his death that we see his brothers mentioned in Scripture. One became a church leader inJerusalem. Others were missionaries. His patience with family eventually paid off.
PRAYER: Lord Jesus, these are hard words for me. I’d never really given much thought to the family dynamics you were a part of. There are times when I want so much for my family to see my point of view in following you, yet they seem to turn a deaf ear to the truth. Help me to follow you and be graceful with my brothers and sisters who have yet to see the light of your love. Amen.
Although I grew up in the church, I came to a point in my life when I lost everything, including my faith. I didn’t lose faith in God or any of the great 
doctrines of the church. I lost faith in me. I finally came to the realization that the journeyof faith wasn’t about my success or failure, but about grace. I’m convinced that there are many who are in the place I was in, having given up on God (and/or themselves) and believe God has given up on them. Built with Grace Ministries is about my passion to share the victory we have in Christ with those who are struggling in their walk. I welcome any opportunity to share my message at retreats, conferences, worship services or other events. If you would like to talk about how we can minister together I invite you to email me at: mdfisk@gmail.com. Further information on the ministry can be found at www.builtwithgrace.com.
You changed my sorrow into dancing. You took away my clothes of sadness, and clothed me in happiness. Psalm 30:11 NCV
“I can do it myself!”
The battle cry of the four-year-old! It may be trying to tie a pair of shoes, or putting a shirt, or any number of things. When met with that challenge you have basically two options, perhaps three. It depends on the task at hand and if any personal injury is possible.
You could try to talk the ‘expert in life’ through the options and, by so doing, work your way into the solution. Rarely works, but young parents usually try this approach…once.
You could strong arm the situation. Rip the task right out of the hands of the over-confident zealot. It will get the job done better and faster on your part. However the child will be frustrated, angry and, if you strong-arm enough times, will lose the self-confidence to try new things. The result? Fear of failure and the loss of joy that comes from accomplishing something.
A third option is often the best for the child and hardest for the parent. Option three involves standing idly by and watching and waiting to be needed. The key to this option is that you are always there to provide protection when needed, advice when asked and encouragement in the process. You are ready and willing to step in when needed to assist with the completion of the task.
The risk with this option is that the job may indeed be accomplished but not nearly as well as you could have done. It may be completed satisfactorily, but in a much longer time frame. The benefits are that the child will learn his limitations, and also learn that you can be trusted to come to their aid when needed.
Our heavenly Father is an option three kind of guy. Did you notice that the options for dealing with a four year old apply to every age? We all have the ‘four-year-old’ mentality that screams that we can manage life in our own ways, our own power, and our own time.
Frustration, anger and bitterness come in when we realize we can’t do ‘it’ alone. We can’t hold this marriage together one more day. We can’t carry the responsibilities of our co-workers and our own. They need to chip in some energy. We can’t do it by ourselves. We can’t risk our entire lives with this child that seems intent on destroying our family reputation. We simply can’t do it anymore.
When you come to the point in life when you realize you are out of options. When you realize your strength is gone and your resolve to succeed is dwindling, the first thing to leave is your joy.
Life doesn’t hold the same excitement. Your relationships seem to be more of a chore than a blessing. The pastor’s sermons are dry, the church becomes irrelevant, the Christian life seems impossible.
When our joy is taken from us it robs us of our will to go on. That’s when our Heavenly Father steps in. He’ll never intrude without our asking. He’ll never abandon us when we seek him out.
Jesus came to earth to show us the way of joy. He can take the clouds of sadness and replace them with joy if you will let him in.
PRAYER: Lord Jesus, you know the burden I’m bearing right now. You know the frustration and fatigue that are destroying my will to move forward. Thank you that the things I struggle with today can be turned over to you and you will walk me through the challenges of life. I praise your holy name. Amen.
But God shows his great love for us in this way: Christ died for us while we were still sinners. Romans 5:8 NCV
Christmas and Valentine’s Day seem to be the two holidays when stories of love seem to proliferate. Like the age-old story of a young woman who sells her long locks of hair so she can buy her husband a watch chain, only to find, as they open their gifts that he has sold his watch to buy her beautiful combs for her hair.
The story and others like it capture our attention because they show one of the main ways we can show others that we love them. In a word, the story speaks of sacrifice.
Giving up something of value to you for the sake of others is love.
Putting aside your own needs so someone else can have something they want, is love.
Doing what you know is right even when it hurts is love.
Looking at the needs (short and long term) of others instead of your own needs, is love.
Being willing to live in someone else’s world when it is so much different than yours is love.
Joseph showed this kind of love when Mary came to him and told him she was pregnant. He knew he hadn’t had sex with her. He loved her so much that, even though he’d be well within his rights to have her stoned, he chose to marry her. Rather than consummate the marriage in the usual time frame, he waited until the baby was born.
But the greatest love story continues to be the story of Almighty God. He chose to live among his creation in the midst of sin that he couldn’t tolerate. He chose to be born a pauper when he owned the cattle on a 1,000 hills. He chose to be born a helpless, powerless infant when, in reality he held the stars he created in place.
He didn’t come to love a people who would return his love. He knew many would reject him. He didn’t come to love a people who would stand in awe of his power and miracles. He knew they would always just ask for more and then walk away unbelieving. He didn’t come expecting people to love accept him. He knew they would not only reject him, but they would murder him as well! Such amazing love!
But the biggest proof of His love is this, he didn’t come to love me after I changed my ways. His love didn’t come based on my ability or even my desire to change. He came to love me while I’m still sinning. That’s true love.
True love says that no matter how much you hurt me; how much you rob me of my needs being met; how much you ignore my pleas for support and love, I’ll love you enough to die for you.
Jesus died for me knowing I’d fail him and others miserably. He died for you in the midst of your illness, rebellion, disbelief, anger or frustration. Others will fail you. Jesus never will. That’s how he showed you his love.
PRAYER: Lord Jesus, during this season of love I’ve been reminded of how much you love me. Still, it’s hard to love others when they hurt me, reject me or fail to meet my needs. It’s so hard to keep giving and get nothing in return, but I guess you know that. Thank you for your unconditional love! Amen.
“For he who finds me finds life, And obtains favor from the LORD.” Proverbs 8:35 (NASB)
How does one find favor with God?
To the Atheist or Agnostic the answer is simple. We are on our own. By sheer human effort we will make the world a better place because there is nothing other than what we see here. Mankind’s determination, education and provision (of money) will eventually see the eradication of violence, illness and death. Not a very promising future. Over the centuries we can see that man’s efforts to make life better have been fruitless, and, frankly, if this life is all we have to look forward to we are hopeless indeed. I love life. I love the beauty of this world, but my passion is for a better place.
Religion tells you that your best bet is to live morally. Morality, of course, is what you make it at the time. “I can live with my boyfriend/girlfriend as long as I’m faithful. God will understand. My parents went through divorce and I don’t want that to happen to me so I won’t marry.”
Statistics show, however, that rationalization like this about relationships doesn’t work. And morality that is dependent on our own standards leads to anarchy. Mankind has proven that he can not govern himself without standards that are ‘divinely ordained’.
Religion of another flavor will tell you that you have to jump through certain hoops to gain God’s favor and eternal life. Things like baptism or church attendance or community action or a whole list of other things are laid out for you. Follow the guidelines and you’ll have a chance. No thank you. I can play the lottery and have a chance at winning millions too. I’ll waste an occasional dollar on a lottery, but my eternal life is a little too important to play Russian roulette with, thank you.
Even ‘christianity’ (small c intentional) will tell you that accepting Jesus isn’t enough. To be a good Christian you need to follow a particular dogma, worship in a certain tradition, sing approved songs, read a certain version of the Bible… (The list is endless).
Bottom line is this. Man’s wisdom will lead you to frustration, confusion and anger. God’s wisdom leads to favor with God. So what’s the secret to finding favor with God? Jesus Christ. That’s it. Nothing more.
Let that sink in a moment. Having the Creator God look upon you with favor? Can there be anything more amazing than that? All your struggling, all your striving, all your activity to try to make you better, the world better or your neighbor better won’t bring you any closer to finding God’s favor. It’s not about activity, it’s about grace. Godly wisdom teaches us that relationship trumps activity every time. Don’t sell out to those who say you have to do something in addition to Jesus. He’s all you need.
PRAYER: Lord Jesus, I get so tired of trying to please others, please myself and please you. Help me to live with the wisdom that teaches me that all I need for your favor is Jesus. Thank you for that awesome truth. Amen.
