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If we live, it’s to honor the Lord. And if we die, it’s to honor the Lord. So whether we I live or die, we belong to the Lord. Romans 14:8 (NLT)
I attended a Suicide Prevention Seminar recently. The presenter was a well-known ‘expert’ in researching why people commit suicide. His hour long presentation showed the physiological, emotional and mental similarities with suicide. It was an incredible learning experience for me.
The one thing that has stuck with me since that session was his statement that most suicide victims don’t want to die; they just want to escape the pain. Their actions aren’t meant to hurt anyone or themselves. In their minds the only way to escape the pain they are in is to die.
He told a story of a young man who had decided to commit suicide. He had it all planned out. The day. The process. Everything. On the morning of his impending death he began to have second thoughts. He decided that if, in the process of his day, just one person would ask him how he was, if he was okay, etc. he’d tell them his plan and ask for help.
He was either crying or near tears all day. He came in contact with several people he knew and a few he didn’t know. In spite of his tears and obvious emotional state, not one person asked him what was wrong.
Fortunately, when he finally attempted to take his life, he was unsuccessful. He ended up in a hospital as a result of the attempt, and is now living with the scars of his attempt, but with freedom from pain.
All of us can feel, at times, like we are all alone, like no one really cares, like the things we do in life are futile and unappreciated. We bear the pain of past neglect or abuse. The question each of us must answer isn’t “Will I encounter pain in life?” but “How will I handle the pain I encounter.
People handle their wounds in different ways. Some turn to drugs and alcohol. Some turn to sex, lust and a variety of relationships. Others rely on anger, power, strength and violence, or take part in being the abuser rather than the abused. I’m convinced that most people don’t ‘sin’ to hurt others, or reject God. Sin is a symptom of deeper pain and an attempt to relieve that pain.
Pain, be it physical, spiritual or emotional, is inevitable. How we handle the pain in our lives can depend largely on the support system we have in place. People struggling with life need to know someone cares.
We can say to others that Jesus cares, but until they see that care manifested in our Lord’s tools, (his people) they will never fully understand what his care really means for them. You may think you can’t make a difference in people’s lives. That’s simply not true.
Just watching for signs of pain in the lives of others and asking ‘how is it going’ or ‘what’s wrong?’ may be the very thing they need to work through the pain. We don’t get involved in peoples lives because we are special; we get involved in people’s lives because they are special.
PRAYER: Lord Jesus, you have put me here for a reason. I ask for you help in dealing with my own pain. Help me use what you have given me to help others live free from their pain as well. Amen.
If we are not faithful, he will still be faithful, because he must be true to who he is. 2 Timothy 2:13 (NCV)
I sat across the desk from the young woman who, through her tears, shared her story. He’d cheated on her once, while they were engaged. Got caught red-handed so to speak, but they worked through it. She’d decided she loved him enough to forgive him. She believed his tear-filled confession. Her trust in him slowly returned and they were married.
Now, six years later and with two adorable children at home, he once again came to her for forgiveness. He’d met a woman. They’d slept together. He regretted that decision and wanted to ‘come clean’ and be the dad, husband and lover she deserved. She didn’t know if she could go on this way. She wasn’t sure that she could ever trust him again.
I’ve knelt with a man at the altar (a different story). He’d called and asked to meet at the church. I found him in tears sitting at the altar. Three times in the past year he’d gone home with a woman that wasn’t his wife. Someone he’d picked up at the bar. There wasn’t any love, just lust. No relationship, just a desire on the part of both parties to ‘have a little fling’. Now, he had to come clean. His wife had no knowledge of what was coming. They’d been together for nearly 20 years. Four great kids, a successful business and for all appearances, a good wholesome family.
These were ‘good people.’ They were active in our church. They taught Sunday School and greeted visitors. The man went home to his wife and confessed his sin. They went to counseling and the last I heard were completely restored in their relationship. The marriage of the young woman, I’m sad to say, ended in divorce. Too much damage. Too many wounds. .
I don’t tell these stories as a post against marital infidelity, although I certainly could. These stories, which I imagine are played out a thousand times a day, awakened in me a new understanding of the passionate relationship with have with Jesus.
Being unfaithful to your lover hurts. It hurts your lover. It hurts you. It’s a family breaker. While there are, thankfully, many stories of families that have endured the devastation of infidelity, many aren’t able to overcome the hurt, the distrust, the anger.
We all have affairs in our relationship with Jesus. Times in each of our lives when we make decisions that are directly contrary to what he desires of us. Sometimes they are flippant ‘flings’ that catch us unaware. Sometimes they are well-thought out decisions.
The point is this. Regardless of how many times we disappoint Jesus, he will never say enough. No matter how many times we fail to live for him, he will never say ‘I don’t love you anymore’. He knows we’ll fail him…again. He knows we’ll reject his love. But because of who he is, he can never turn his back on us.
If you truly love someone, you will do whatever you can to keep from hurting that person. If you truly love Jesus you will do whatever you can to keep from hurting him. These life stories I shared beg the question each of us must ask: “How have I had an affair with other lovers (lust, money, desire, fame) and hurt my Jesus?”
PRAYER: Lord Jesus, I do love you. I realize that I’ve let you down so many times. I don’t know how you can possibly love me after I’ve done so many things against you. Thank you for your forgiveness and grace. Empower me to live to please you and not myself. Amen.
Then Jesus called the crowd to him, along with his followers. He said, “If people want to follow me, they must give up the things they want. They must be willing even to give up their lives to follow me. Mark 8:34 (NCV)
It’s one of the ultimate dichotomies of the Christian life. Jesus taught on several occasions that if we want to be greatest we must be least; if we want to be strong in our faith we must be as a child; if we want to see God work in mighty ways we need to give up trying in our own power.
I like how the New Century Version translates Jesus’ words in Mark 8. “If people want to follow me, they must give up the things they want.” His words seem contradictory at first glance. Doesn’t God tell us in the Old Testament that if we obey his law he will provide for us? Doesn’t Jesus himself tell us in other places that if we obey him he will be with us always and give us the desires of our heart? Don’t the other New Testament authors challenge us to live Godly lives so we can see him working in our lives?
So what gives? What is Jesus trying to tell us about getting the things we want and/or need?
What Jesus is telling us here is to take a close look at the difference between what the world provides for us and what he can provide for us.
We all want to be accepted and respected. But the world’s standards for acceptance are based on our abilities, our looks, our status, our performance. None of these matter to Jesus. His acceptance of you has nothing to do with your looks, your body shape, your report cards, or the number of awards hanging on your wall. He accepts you because he loves you. You can do nothing to gain more of his acceptance.
We seek security. Security in most people’s minds is measured by the amount of money we have in our bank account, the size of our retirement fund, the size of our house and the amount of our toys. In our struggling economy we’re learning the hard way that money offers no security. Retirement accounts have been wiped out. Once secure careers have ended abruptly. Security doesn’t come from money. Jesus says, you want security? Look at my track record. I’m the same today as I was yesterday. I’ll be the same tomorrow. You can trust me.
We want love. Love, for many people is defined by relationships with other people. We fall into love because love makes us feel accepted. Love gives us security. Love encourages us to be all we think we want to be. But all too often we realize that love relationships aren’t secure. All too often relationships lead to feelings of rejection rather than acceptance. Once again the things we ‘want’ slip from our grasp. Once again Jesus says, “I’ll love you. Your mistakes won’t make me reject you. Even if you are unfaithful to me and cheat on me, I’ll still be here when you come back. There is nothing you can do to make me love you more than I already do. There is nothing you can do to make me stop loving you.
Acceptance. Security. Love. Give up seeking these things that you work so hard to find. You may find them for a season here on earth, but they will fail you. When you are willing to give up seeking for the things you want and turn to Jesus he will bring them into our life.
PRAYER: Lord Jesus giving up to receive is hard. I seek comfort in so many things that don’t last. Help me to let go of my desires so that you can give me the things I strive to have in my life. Amen.
Praise the Lord! Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever. Psalm 106:1 (NLT)
Love that endures spans the test of time;
The love story between the Creator God of the universe and mankind began in the Garden of Eden. History isn’t series of unrelated, disconnected events but a love story between a loving Father and his earnest desire to have fellowship with his wayward children.
Love that endures weathers the storms of doubt;
Love endures in spite of doubt. In the human realm, when a loved one loses faith is us, and doubts our ability to perform, or our desire to continue in the relationship, it dies. We continually struggle with doubt in our lives. It attacks every facet of our being. But even though doubt attacks our belief in God, our doubt never diminishes his belief in us. Doubt may destroy our faith in God, doubt will never destroy God’s faith in us.
Love that endures seeks restoration when wrongs are done;
Forgiveness for wrongs done in the human realm is considered noble. When a human love relationship is wracked with infidelity, doubt, abuse and defiance, death of the relationship is inevitable. Our father has loved us throughout all of the above. He holds on in our defiance, he continues to show himself when we doubt, he welcomes us back when we cheat on him, he seeks us out when we ignore or blaspheme him. His love doesn’t change when we wrong him.
Love that endures focuses on the object loved, not on the objects condition;
The father didn’t choose the Israelites because they were the most powerful or the largest nation or the most faithful. He chose them because he loved them. Human love is too often based on what the object loved can do for us. God’s love for us is based on what he can do for us! He loves us, not our actions. He loves us, not our beauty. He loves us, not our piety or discipline or ability. He loves us. He loves you. He loves me.
Love that endures loves even when that love is unable to be returned;
Even in our deepest desire to love God, we fail. It’s not that we don’t try. It’s not that we didn’t start out with noble aspirations of being mighty believers in God. We’re human. We fail. We struggle with the very things we hate. Even when you can’t love God the way you want because of the rocks and crevices in the path of life, he loves you. His love isn’t based on our ability to love back.
Love that endures finds joy in the presence of the one loved;
My favorite thought of all. Imagine that. He enjoys just being in our presence. What more can be said? Sometimes I’m not very pleasant. I don’t even like being around me. Sometimes I’m angry, self-absorbed, arrogant, and the list goes on. When I’m at my very worst God finds joy in my presence. Such love!
PRAYER: Father God, Thank you for your enduring love. Thank you that your love for me has nothing to do with who I am, or what I can accomplish or do for you. I’m overwhelmed by your enduring love.
“Before I made you in your mother’s womb, I chose you. Before you were born, I set you apart for a special work. I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5 (NCV)
Isn’t it nice to feel chosen by someone? When we are growing up we love to hear mom or dad pick us up and say “You are my little boy/girl”. Our children long to hear the words “I’m proud of you!” As young adults it’s exciting when that special someone says, in a variety of ways, “I choose you. I want you to be with me forever.”
Unfortunately, the opposite is true far too often. Children, especially those from families torn apart by divorce, grow up wondering why they were put into this world. Young people see the world wracked by war, disease, and political turmoil and wonder why things are the way they are, how long before we self-destruct and why they were put in this world. We adults worry about being able to stay healthy, make our financial obligations, and hold our relationships together.
Life seems to go easier when we feel we have a purpose for being here. The path we travel can take us through times of wilderness. We can travel through areas of our lives when the path is shrouded in darkness, or at best enveloped in a fog that keeps us from knowing our direction in life. Our journey can elevate us to the highest mountain top, or through the deepest valley.
No matter what you are going through right now; regardless of the reason for finding yourself in the situation you are in, life is easier when you know you have a purpose for being here and that someone cares if you are successful.
Remember this, with God there are no unplanned pregnancies, no ‘accidents’ when it comes to conception. You are here as a result of a plan God instituted long before your mother gave birth. Regardless of what people tell you about your lack of value, God formed you as you are. The aimlessness of life you feel is God’s call to bring you closer to himself. Your failures are God’s instrument to help you grow stronger in life.
For Jeremiah, his calling was a prophet. For you it may be to show Christ’s love to the kids you teach, the people you package the fast-food burger, the lonely old couple at table 7, or the sick child in the hospital room. Whatever your calling, you were placed here by the Creator God of the Universe to grow in relationship to him and show his love and grace to those who cross your path.
You are NOT an accident my friend. You are a masterpiece created by the master creator himself. Don’t listen to the voices that want you to believe otherwise.
PRAYER: Thank you God for making me just the way I am. Thank you for putting me where you have in life so I can show those around me the love of Jesus. Strengthen me for the battles ahead through your Holy Spirit. Amen.
Mike Fisk & Built with Grace 