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Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven! Matthew 18:21-22 (NLT)
At first glance one might think Peter was being a bit harsh when he asked Jesus how often we should forgive someone who has done us wrong. After all, isn’t forgiving someone something we just do, or are supposed to do. In reality though, Peter was really being quite generous. In his day the Pharisaical law stated (traditionally) that after a person sins against you three times you were no longer obligated to grant that person forgiveness. Peter’s offer to forgive seven times went way above and beyond the call of duty.
Jesus, of course, blew all that away by saying that true forgiveness should be granted 7 times 70. This isn’t a math question. Jesus intent wasn’t to come up with the number of 490 times before we could withhold forgiveness. What he was simply saying to those gathered around him was that there is NO magic number of times. Forgiveness was to be granted continually, as many times as is necessary.
In theory, that sounds good. Reality is harsh. Much as we’d like to be able to forgive, it’s just not always that easy to do. Two reasons why we may find it hard to forgive are that we think forgiveness is:
- A sign of weakness-“No one likes being a doormat! If I forgive you I’m just rolling over and playing dead. I have rights. I’m a real person. I deserve some dignity and you took that away from me!” In reality though, forgiveness shows real strength of character. Those who are generally able to forgive are those who have a strong sense of their own value.
- Permission for continued abuse-When someone hurts us, whether it is physically or emotionally, forgiving them does not alleviate the seriousness of their actions. To forgive someone does not mean you trust them immediately, or ever! While trust may be able to be established after a time, abuse is never okay.
As difficult as forgiveness can be, it is also very beneficial.
- Forgiveness frees you from bitterness, anger and depression.
- Forgiveness allows you to move on with life.
- Forgiveness allows God to work more freely in your own life.
- People who are forgiving are generally happier people and people that others want to be around.
In reality, when I forgive you it is more for my benefit than yours. When I forgive you it doesn’t mean that I’m okay with what you did to me. Forgiveness means I’m giving myself permission to be released from the hurt. It means I’m okay with me. Forgiveness is freedom to live above the pain caused by the injustice.
Forgiveness isn’t easy to do. It’s a supernaturally empowered act that tells the world that you trust God to do the healing. It’s a two step process. First, I must make a decision verbally, to myself (not necessarily the one who wronged me) that I will forgive the wrong done me. Secondly, I begin a process of healing in which I daily remind myself that who I am in Christ and that God, the creator-God of the universe loves me. Healing can take a long time, but true healing will not happen until I release the person who wronged me. So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. Galatians 6:9
PRAYER: Holy Father. Right now you know there are people in my life I’m having a hard time forgiving. They have hurt me over and over again and I don’t want to be hurt. Still, You tell us to forgive just as you have forgiven us. That’s a tall order. Please help me to believe enough in You and in myself to release the person(s) that have hurt me. Amen.
You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor. Psalm 8:5
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
We are unsure of when King David wrote the words of Psalm 8. It could have been written while he was on the throne in Jerusalem, or it could have been while he was on the run from one of King Saul’s murderous rampages. His present location isn’t clear, but his mindset is.
I imagine David writing this Psalm as he thought back to simpler, safer and easier times in his life. Times when his biggest enemy was loneliness as he sat in the hills of Judea watching over his father’s sheep, and his biggest fear was an occasional bear or lion or other enemy attacking the sheep when he least expected it. The words of this Psalm could very easily have come to David during his time as a shepherd, only to be written down later.
Imagine laying in the soft, cool mountain grass during the stillness of the night and looking up into the vast array of stars that make up our universe. While staring into space David is reminded of God’s great love for him. A love that is so great and enduring that God not only loves us, He honors us. He lifts us up and esteems us! To think a frail, weak, rebellious human such as I would be honored and esteemed by the ruler of the universe!
Years later, the Apostle Paul is writing his letter to the Romans and he too is reminded of God’s great love. He candidly shares with the Roman disciples his own shortcomings and struggle with sin and with failure. In the midst of this he reminds all of us that God’s love is directed to us on the basis of who Jesus is and what we do with Jesus, not on whom we are or what we can do for Him.
If the God of the Universe loves us so much that He honors and esteems us above all other things then how could He be any less anxious to bring his very best into our lives? We may not always understand the struggles we are going through or why God allows things to come into our lives. But we can know that in the end He will work everything for good in our lives.
Your Heavenly Father wants to do great things in your life. You may not understand all that is going on in your life right now, but you can know that your Heavenly Father can take even the toughest times of our lives and use them for our good and His glory.
PRAYER: Heavenly Father. I have to admit I don’t understand why you do what you do, particularly at this point in my life. I thank you for the promise that you love and honor me even though I’m so unworthy. Help me grow more in my love for you as you lead me through the tough times of life. Amen.
Mike Fisk & Built with Grace 