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Just admit that you rebelled and worshiped foreign gods under large trees everywhere. Jeremiah 3:13 (CEV)
Admitting guilt.
Not an easy thing to do is it? It’s so much easier to explain our actions than just to say, “I was wrong.” It’s even harder to say, “I was wrong and I knew I was wrong when I did it but I wanted to do it anyway…so I did.”
A friend of mine tells about how frustrating his daughter can be a times. She’s a sweet girl. Compassionate, kind, smart…but rebellious. On several occasions she’s been caught doing something that she knows is wrong, but has gone ahead and done it anyway. When confronted about these things her classic response is: “But I want to.”
Translation? I knew it was wrong when I did it. I knew I’d get in trouble when I was doing it. I know I’m busted now and even though I’m being punished, I’m glad I did it because I liked it.
Before you pass judgment on my friend’s daughter or question his parenting skills, ask yourself this question. Isn’t that what we do when we choose our own way and not God’s way? We know we shouldn’t’ think that way, but…; we know we shouldn’t say this, but…’; we know it’s wrong but…’.
God speaks through the prophet Jeremiah to a stubborn rebellious people. He tells them, I know you’ve been unfaithful. You know you’ve been unfaithful. There’s no question about guilt here, not implication that you didn’t know better. I’m not asking for explanations. I’m not asking for promises [because frankly, you never keep them anyway!]. All I’m asking is admission of your guilt.
God doesn’t ask us to admit our guilt to prove we are wrong. He doesn’t ask us to admit our guilt so he is sure we are guilty. He simply wants us to admit our weakness. Why? Because his desire is to free us from the guilt, not condemn us; his desire is to forgive us, not criticize us; his desire is to lift us up, not burden us.
God likens Israel to a prostitute with more lovers than he can count! Not a very kind assessment of them. Yet his desire isn’t to expose their rebellion and failure, his desire is to cleanse them. Confession of sin is hard, but living in guilt is harder. Confession frees us to live, but guilt burdens us with baggage that follows us through life.
It’s interesting that God only asks one thing of the Israelites, confession. He’s already decided he’ll take them back. He’s already committed to loving them and forgiving them and welcoming them back into his arms. All they have to do is admit they were wrong.
The same is true for us today. Your Heavenly Father knows you are weak. He knows you are rebellious. He knows that even if he forgives you, you’ll do it again. But…He loves you and wants a relationship with you. All you have to do is admit it’s your fault. Hard to do? Yes, but essential to live freely in God’s grace.
PRAYER: Father, my failures are constantly before me. Still I find it hard to admit my weakness, even though I know you love me. Give me the strength to confess my weakness so that I can live in your freedom. Amen.
You, Lord, know every one of my deepest desires, and my noisy groans are no secret to you.Psalm 38:9(CEV)
The low fuel light comes on as he’s driving to work and his heart sinks. No money for gas, no options available. He has to get to work but doesn’t know how he’ll get home. Borrowing gas money again didn’t seem like an option he wanted to visit. God, why…
She turns out the light and lays her head on the pillow. She did it again. She promised herself she’d stay faithful, stay pure. More importantly, she promised God. What if she gets pregnant? What if he finds out? What if? O God, please…
The pop-up on the internet entices him. Three hours later he realizes he’s wasted an entire afternoon. How can he do this to his wife? How can he do this to his God? Who can he tell? Everyone looks to him as some spiritual leader, if only they knew, but God knows. Jesus, I’m so sorry…
It’s 2 AM. The silent breathing in the next room turns to a muffled cry. “I so wish I hadn’t had him…” She catches herself…again. How can she feel this way. She wanted a baby, no THEY wanted a baby. But now, after the accident she’s alone to tend to the house, the finances, everything. The guilt she bears towards her child overwhelms here. ‘If only.’ “God how can I…”
During those deepest, darkest times of your life he hears the groans of your heart; the groans no one else knows about. The feelings you would never be able to tell anyone.
Those regrets? He hears them.
The guilt and shame? He sees the scars.
The fear and worry? Knows about that too.
No matter who you are. No matter where you are in life. Whether you are a successful businessman, a highly esteemed ministry, a best selling author or a homeless person looking for the next fix. You have those feelings, those inner groanings of the soul that you bear alone. They can attack at night, in broad daylight, during times of celebration and times of grief. Sometimes your human soul can’t even find the words to express the emotion you feel.
It’s during those times that your Heavenly Father longs to come by your side. God understands the language of half words. He knows the feelings interrupted with sighs, and interprets them as the breaths of a broken heart. Not only does he hear your broken thoughts, he has promised to never judge, never condemn, never get his ‘shocked look.’
Don’t allow the guilt, the worry, or the weakness of your soul deceive you into thinking God doesn’t care. He cares deeply and knows your thoughts before you think them.
PRAYER: Father, I praise you for the promise you have made to stay by my side. I’ve pushed you away at times. I’ve rebelled and stumbled in my weakness. I have feelings, doubts and fears I can’t express to my closest friends. I thank you that you hear me and love me. Amen.
Brandish spear and javelin against those who pursue me. Say to me, “I am your salvation.” Psalm 35:3
There are times in life when it seems the enemy of our soul has us completely surrounded. During those times everything we do seems to be a struggle.
Have we lost faith in Christ? No.
Do we believe all his promises? Yes.
But in the deep recesses of our souls that doesn’t seem to be enough. The battle for peace of heart rages between the emotion of our current reality and what we know to be fact. The trust, confidence and faith we talk confidently about becomes a cover-up for the despair, worry and heartache deep inside.
A friend of mine is going to bring his daughter to treatment this weekend. Drugs and alcohol have taken her captive. He and his wife have ‘done everything right’ in bringing her up in the church. They’ve prayed with her and for her. But she took a different route. In the mean time his parent’s health is failing and he is battling a life-threatening disease.
The prayer of David rings true. We pray that he will fight our battles, that he will brandish spear and javelin against the enemies that war against our souls and take those we love captive.
We plead with him to block the path of those who pursue us: guilt, worry, fear, bitterness, anger, fatigue (and the list goes on).
Yet in those times when it seems our very heart will be ripped from our chests, we long most of all to hear his voice reminding us, “I am your salvation.”
“I am your Salvation.” Let those words seep into the cracks of your soul. Let them linger for awhile. The battle isn’t yours. Salvation (yours or anyone else’s) isn’t your responsibility. The Great Warrior, the King of Kings, the Lord of all creation will see you to ultimate victory.
Will there be battles? Yes. Will there be dark nights in which the cold is relentless and his presence seems impossible to find? Unfortunately, yes. But during those times, if we take time to listen, if we seek him in the darkness, he speaks to the most intimate, inner corners of our hearts, “I am your salvation.”
PRAYER: Lord Jesus, during those times when I feel most alone and weakest. During those times when the battle seems too great and I feel alone, defeated and unable to see your light. Let me hear the gentle whisper of your promise that you are my salvation. Amen.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18
Can you imagine the excitement David must have felt when he was called down from the mountain to meet with the great prophet Samuel? Add to that the stunning announcement that someday, he, David, a mere shepherd boy would be King of Israel? Amazing!
He couldn’t have been more than 16 or 17 at the time. Life was ahead of him and even though he must have loved the shepherding and farming life his father instilled in him, the intrigue of the city and fame and fortune had to have had the same allure then as it does now. I imagine David walked just a little taller among the sheep when he returned to his post in the fields.
Then add in the whole incident with that giant, Goliath. There are lots of reasons stated out there for why David slew Goliath; the precision of his shot, the trust in God, Goliath not taking him (or his God) seriously. But I think there was probably a good measure of adrenaline behind that stone that day. After all, he was David, the future King!
But then life came crashing down for David. Psalm 34 was written when he ‘escaped’ from his own homeland to enemy territory. The very Philistines that produced Goliath; the very nation he hated so much; the one place in the world he would never want to find himself, became his sanctuary.
The once proud, confident David became an actor, pretending to be a lunatic in enemy territory so he’d be protected from Saul, and pitied by the Philistines. I can’t help but imagine the despondency, the fear, the disappointment in his heart.
Have you been there? Have you found yourself in a place you never thought you’d be in? Dealing with guilt for an affair you never thought you’d put yourself in? Struggling with credit card debt and other financial woes that you vowed you’d never get your family into…again? Struggling with the pain of broken relationships or failing health?
David likens it to a crushed spirit. The original languages give the word picture of being smashed by a hammer. Obliterated. Destroyed. Nothing left that resembles your heart. No use picking up the pieces. They are to shattered, to broken, to be of any value.
But listen to David’s words. God comes close to those who are broken. As an omnipresent God, he is always near of course. But during those times of grief; during those times when life is beyond disappointing, it’s dreadfully painful, your Heavenly Father, the God of the universe, bends low to hear your cry; to feel your pain; to comfort you.
Life doesn’t always take us where we thought we’d be, but it never takes us away from a God who is passionately in love with you.
PRAYER: Father God, I pray today for those who are hurting; for those who’s hearts have been smashed by the hammer of life. May they sense your presence and feel your comforting love. Amen.
Mike Fisk & Built with Grace 