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The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray. Proverbs 12:26
In his book “When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People”, Gary Thomas talks about the power and danger of toxic relationships. Toxic people can destroy relationships and steal our freedom to be all we could be.
Toxic people can be found in the church and sometimes spread their toxicity ‘in the name of Jesus’ love’. Stories abound of people who stray from God because of toxic people who came into their lives and drew them away to a life totally foreign to what their upbringing taught them.
I have a friend who nearly lost his family because of his drinking. He was on the way to being an alcoholic when his wife walked out with his two daughters.
As we spent time talking about the situation he shared with me that he’d go into a bar with his friends with no intention of drinking, but once there, he was coerced by his friends to have ‘just one’, which unfortunately led to many.
Thankfully, he made the choices he needed to save his family. He chose to avoid the bar crowd and focus on more wholesome friendships. He and his wife are back together and are in the process of healing.
Am I saying we should only have ‘Christian friends’? Of course not! Jesus hung out with the socially outcast more than the ‘spiritually secure’. Yet, through the power of the Holy Spirit we need to be open to sharing our faith in a gentle way and get our strength from relationships that celebrate Jesus.
Influencers can be negative or positive. Choose to follow the positive, Christ centered influencers!
But do this in a gentle and respectful way. Keep your conscience clear. Then if people speak against you, they will be ashamed when they see what a good life you live because you belong to Christ. 1 Peter 3:16
We live in a world of fear. Fear shows itself in a variety of ways. Hate, hopelessness, Anger, frustration, despair,, revenge and confusion are just a few ways we deal with our fear.
Most times, if not always, fear happens because the things being done to us, or the things happening around us are out of our control. Our reaction to fear is often an attempt to regain control.
When you believe in a Sovereign God, and live in that truth you are, in a very real sense, giving up that control because you realize your God is in ultimate control. Because of faith you can relinquish control to a loving, sovereign God.
Another thing happens when you live in the shadow of a sovereign God, your hope and faith is seen by those around you, and quite frankly it’s a little hard for them to figure out!
Peter writes to a people in perilous times. In his day, there was open season on Christ-followers. Yet he encourages them to live in faith and hope, and when others question us about our hope we are called on to answer in a respectful, gentle way. No judgment. No hellfire and brimstone. No verbal abuse. Peter was a firey guy. Yet he calls us to gentleness, as does Paul and Jesus.
Our hope will speak more loudly when we live lives in gentleness and respect. Remember, it’s God’s Spirit that wins people to Jesus, not clever arguments, judgmental attitudes or anger.
Author Jerry Bridges states, “Both gentleness and meekness are born of power, not weakness. There is a pseudo-gentleness that is effeminate, and there is a pseudo-meekness that is cowardly. But a Christian is to be gentle and meek because those are Godlike virtues… We should never be afraid, therefore, that the gentleness of the Spirit means weakness of character. It takes strength, God’s strength, to be truly gentle.”
Ask Holy Spirit to guide you into gentleness.
Mike Fisk & Built with Grace 