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You have searched me, LORD, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. Psalm 139:1-2
With the popularity of the internet and various networking sites, like FaceBook and Twitter, the concept of ‘knowing someone’ has become somewhat clouded. We can ‘know’ someone from other countries who we have never met anywhere but in cyberspace.
In Psalm 139, King David makes the statement “You know me” concerning God. The knowledge God has of us is so much more intimate than we can imagine. I can choose what information I let you know about me. I can tone down the bad stuff about me and put a nice coat of frosting on the good stuff to make it even better.
I can choose to hide the things I don’t want you to know, those hidden thoughts, dreams and fantasies or those opinions of you (and others) that contradict the smile on my face. I can try to hide the pain, shame and embarrassment of how I really feel about me as well. In fact, most times, people we see as happy-go-lucky and conceited are really insecure and looking for something good to grasp onto about themselves.
God knows me. Think on that for a minute. The Creator/Sustainer of the universe, not just my world, not just the galaxy we live in, THE universe, knows me. He and He alone, sees clearly behind the mask we use to show people the person we’d like to be. The walls we build to protect ourselves and keep others at a distance do nothing to keep Him from entering in and looking around.
Every thought, every emotion, every hurt and pain, every time you’ve been emotionally or physically abused has been seen by Him and He feels your pain. He hears your unspoken prayers, sees your unseen tears and walks with you through the fearful times when everyone else thinks you are strong.
Remember one more thing. King David was not a pleasant person. He was a murderer. He slept with a married woman and got her pregnant. He ignored the time one of his sons raped one of his daughters. He lied. He cheated. Yet in all this God calls Him a man after His own heart. God saw through all David’s weaknesses and failures and loved him anyway. He does the same for you.
PRAYER: Once again I am in awe of Your love O God my Father. There is no hiding with you. You know my deepest longings and pain. You cry with me and celebrate with me. I praise you for who you are and ask that you would help me, as I go through my day, to sense Your love and presence during the dark times of my life. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom. Song of Solomon 2:15
Preventative maintenance is important in many areas of our lives. A simple oil change can keep your car running better and longer. A few minutes of exercise everyday can keep your body healthier, your mind sharper and give you more energy for the day.
The same is true in our relationships with our spouses/significant other, our children, our families, our jobs or any other relationship we may be a part of. It’s the little things we do that keep a relationship healthy and growing. In order for relationships to be healthy they need to continue to grow. Stagnant relationships are dying relationships.
In Old Testament Palestine, vineyards were a huge part of the economy. One of the ‘predators’ for the vineyard was the fox. Small foxes would enter the vineyard at night and destroy the vines, eat the grapes and blossoms and dig up the roots. The owner of the vineyard spent much time and money to protect his vineyard from these little, but deadly enemies.
Healthy relationships are relationships where all parties involved work together to keep the little things from entering our ‘vineyard’ to damage or kill it. Most relationships don’t end like a train wreck. Train wrecks are sudden, unexpected and deadly. Relationships usually die a slow death from the inside out, like cancer, and usually happen when one or both parties involved fail to take preventative action.
The ‘little foxes’ of relationship can be something as simple as making sure you say thank you, or being brave enough to say ‘I’m sorry’ even if you aren’t totally at fault. The ‘little fox’ of sarcasm can attack the very roots of the relationship. Sarcasm is the lowest form of ‘humor’ and one of the deadliest relationship killers. Unresolved anger, guilt and emotional or physical abuse may seem like big issues in a relationship, and indeed they are. However they aren’t the main issue, they are the result of the work of little foxes.
The best protection for the vineyard of our relationships is a firm, unified relationship with Jesus Christ. Religion and going to church won’t protect your relationship any more than a sign at the entrance of the vineyard will ward off the foxes. Relationship with Jesus is much more than religion and warming the pew of some church.
Simple things like saying ‘I love you’ or, ‘I’m proud of you’, or ‘I like how you do that’ are little things that can add huge walls against the foxes of our lives. Studying the Bible together, making sure that there are no unresolved conflicts in your lives, being willing to forgive and be honest with each other and encouraging each other to use thief gifts are all ways to strengthen the bond of your relationships.
Vineyards were the life blood of the Old Testament economy just as relationships are the lifeblood in this journey we call life. Work as hard as you can to make sure the little foxes don’t enter and destroy.
PRAYER: Father, I admit to you that I’m not good at relationship. My past is full of so many foxes that I’ve never learned how to do relationship well. I’m tired of feeling like I’m the only one doing the work of relationship building. The pain of rejection and abuse keeps me back from trying anymore. Help me to build a relationship with You first so that I can build or rebuild relationships with those I love. In Jesus name, Amen.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 1 Corinthians 13:5
Remember growing up and having that ‘friend’ that always made the rules about the games you played? Remember how, for some strange reason, the rules always gave them the advantage? Remember the time you tried to stand up for yourself and change the rules to be fairer and how your friend ‘wasn’t your friend anymore’?
That’s not love.
Remember the time you made a stupid mistake and offended a dear friend? Remember how he/she exploded in anger and said some really hurtful things. Now the relationship isn’t the same, in fact, you barely speak to one another?
That’s not love.
Remember that argument that you had with your spouse/significant other/ family member/boss? You know, the one where all the mistakes you ever made in the past were brought up as fuel for the fire. Things you thought were long forgiven and forgotten suddenly became missiles that pierced your heart.
That’s not love.
The hardest part about loving someone the way Christ wants us to love is that we are so vulnerable. We lay ourselves out emotionally and physically in such a way that it is easy to get hurt. True love is that Christ-like kind of love that seeks what is good for the other person in every circumstance and relationship we find ourselves in along this journey we call life.
The struggles of life and the fact that we are human is the hardest part of loving. When you offend me (for the umpteenth time!), love says it’s okay. We’ll work though this. When I offend you (for the umpteenth time!), love tells me I know I can come to you and ask forgiveness without fear of this situation coming up in a much later conversation. Love endures countless emotional and physical let downs. Love knows when to stand up for ourselves or walk away graciously when we are in danger.
Christ-like love should be like a healing salve on the emotional, spiritual and physical wounds that others have put on us. It comforts, builds up, understands and forgives. Christ-like love is supernatural because in my humanness I’m too weak to love the way I want to. It is during those tough times of life when I rely on His love to give me strength and to strengthen those around me.
PRAYER: Father when I think about all the things love really means I’m in awe that anyone can love. When I see the many ways I’ve failed to love others and the many ways human love has hurt me, I am tempted to give up on love all together. I ask that you would encourage me to see that the love Paul describes is ideal, supernatural love. It’s not just the love you expect us to have for others, it’s the love we can expect from you. Empower me through your Holy Spirit to learn how to love those around me like you do. In your name I pray, Amen.
“But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. Luke 6:27-28
A couple weeks ago we went to a local apple orchard on our fall run to pick some fresh, crisp apples. As we were walking through the rows and rows of trees our conversation turned to the many types of apples there are. Some are sweet, some tart; some soft, some hard; some are good for eating right off the tree, others are better for pies, baking and apple sauce. Amazing the choices we have and there are new varieties coming out every year.
Enemies are like apples in a sense. There are all sorts of them out there. There are enemies a half a world away that we hear about on the news. We shake our heads at them and perhaps our fists. We pray for them, but for most of us, our prayers are vague, general voices of concern for people we’ve never met, and based on fear of our own safety and freedom.
There are the enemies based in the political arena, whether that is church politics or government. Again, we’ve never seen them but the choices they make directly, or indirectly affect our comfort and from time to time attack our convictions.
There is the unseen enemy of course. Satan, or one of his ugly cohorts, lurks behind every corner waiting to through darts of worry, temptation, judgmental, anger or a whole host of lies at us. Lies about our self-worth; lies about our God; lies about other people.
Perhaps the biggest enemy each of us faces every day is the enemy next door. I don’t mean your physical neighbor, but those who are closest to you emotionally. The child that no longer sees it necessary to follow your faith; the spouse who neglects, abuses or abandoned you, the boss who never sees anything you do as worthwhile. The friend or family member that misunderstands you, accuses you or makes you feel worthless. The parent who has never ever been there for you but now has all this advice to give you, advice you don’t need or want.
These enemies hurt the worst because, if we let them, they determine who we are, how we feel about ourselves and what God is like. They are the closest ones to us emotionally and can destroy us in a heartbeat with a flippant word, sarcasm or open attack.
It’s also these enemies that Jesus talked about on the hillside that day. He wasn’t telling the people to love some system that caused them pain. He was talking about the people we rub shoulders with every day. The ones that hurt us constantly. The people who, when we see them, cause the lump to form in your gut.
So, how can we do that? How can we love that person who hates the ground we walk on? How can we love that person who once professed to love us but has now turned their back on us? What Jesus is really commanding us to do is to counter every negative action directed towards us with a positive action. Sometimes that may mean that even though we have to remove ourselves from a harmful situation, we still refuse to speak evil of the person who attacked us. Sometimes it may mean praying a prayer that says, “God, I am supposed to pray for them but I’m so full of hurt right now I can’t. Help me.” I believe God honors the honest prayer of helplessness when we have to deal with the painful enemies of our heart.
I have to confess that the idea of being kind to people who have openly, intentionally and willfully attacked me isn’t pleasant. In fact, I struggle to do that. This is perhaps the hardest part of the Christian life, to love those in my circle who refuse to love back. So, how do we do it? Here are some suggestions from a person who has not yet attained.
- Remember that God DOES love you and understands how hard it is to love people who reject and hurt you. People do it to Him every day and since we are made in His image that means He feels that pain as well.
- Remember that God also created the ‘jerks’ of the world and His desire it to bring them to Himself, just as He did you.
- Remember that God realizes that you can’t do this on your own. It’s a process and requires that we lean heavily on the power of the Holy Spirit to help us.
- Lastly, Remember that we are told to love our enemies and as much as possible live at peace with them. Loving our enemies doesn’t necessarily mean we trust and live in relationship with those who have abused us physically, spiritually or emotionally.
PRAYER: Heavenly Father. I’m hurt. The hurt that I feel right now is the result of people who I thought I could trust who have turned on me. They are family members, friends, former lovers and/or even my own children. I feel completely alone and misunderstood here. Still, because of Jesus in my life I want to do as you’ve commanded. I want to love my enemies through the power of your Holy Spirit. Please help me have the wisdom and strength to love those nearest to me. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.
I have seen his ways, but I will heal him; I will guide him and restore comfort to him. Isaiah 57:18
The prophet Isaiah was called by God to minister to a people who never seemed to get the ‘living for God’ thing right. Their history with Him wasn’t stellar by any means. Even though God blessed them time and time again they refused to see Him as the source of their success. Any time something came along that looked better than God’s ways they followed it. They were stubborn, rebellious people who didn’t seem to care what God said.
Not only did they have a hard time following God’s ways, they blamed God when they didn’t get their own way. If God didn’t get them what they wanted they’d find a god that did. It may be money, new relationships, or stealing from other people. The bottom line was God’s people weren’t very godly after all. The people chose religion over relationship but that didn’t satisfy them so they found other things to soothe their pain.
Isaiah came before the people with a message straight from God. It was a simple message: “I know your name.” Things really haven’t changed much since Isaiah was prophet. We all still struggle with our spiritual walk. We try to live for God but are pulled in so many other directions that we lose sight of His way. People fail us, or abuse us, so we find others who will treat us well. We find comfort in drugs and/or alcohol but that is only a temporary fix to our pain. We try religion but religion is demanding and often doesn’t seem relevant to our pain. We get tired of trying and failing and trying and failing again. When we continue to fail like that it’s easy to just give up. We may decide God doesn’t exist or care. We may decide we are just too hopeless of a case and try to go it alone because there is no way He’ll accept us.
None of that is true. Isaiah 57:18 tells us that God knows who we are from the very beginning. He knows our name. He’s seen what we are like from the inside out. We humans tend to determine who we are and who others are by what we see on the outside. We associate a certain kind of behavior, looks and attitudes by what we see on the outside because we are limited by our humanity.
Our name gives people the framework for who we are. If I say I saw ‘Mary Jones’ today, and you know Mary, then in your mind you can relate all you know about Mary by that name. The same is true to a much larger degree with God. He knows who you are from the inside out. He doesn’t just know what you do, He knows the real reason you do it.
Not only does God know you better than anyone else, including yourself, He loves you. He wants to heal you. The Bible refers to our sin nature as a disease. It’s a disease we are born with and one we can’t heal ourselves. We seek all sorts of ‘medication’ to deal with it like relationships, chemicals, and religion, but nothing works. The only thing that will heal you is forgiveness by God through Jesus Christ.
If you are sick, you don’t say, “As soon as I get better I need to get to the doctor.” That’s a ridiculous idea. When you are sick you go to the one that can heal. Jesus not only heals you, He understands why you fail, comforts you in your pain and wants to help you learn to have a full, rich relationship with Him.
God knows your name. He knows who you are and exactly why you are the way you are. He’s real, powerful and loving. Through His Son Jesus, He can help soothe the pain you are in regardless of what you have done.
PRAYER: Dear Jesus, I’m so thankful that you know me. Other people think they know me, but even my best friends only know what they see on the inside. I praise you for knowing me from the inside out and understanding my pain. Forgive me of the mistakes I’ve made. Heal my wounds that run deep. Comfort me with your loving forgiveness. In Your Name I pray, Amen.
Mike Fisk & Built with Grace 