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I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. Philippians 4:11 (New International Version)
Contentment: The feeling or showing satisfaction with one’s possessions, status, or situation.
The Bible tells us in numerous places and ways that we are to be content; have the joy of the Lord in our hearts; be joyful always; trust God in tribulation and the list goes on and on. When things are going well for us (the job is going well, gas prices are down, the teenagers are behaving and you are getting along with your spouse or significant other) it’s easy to be joyful, trusting and content.
But what about the other times? How can you be content when everything seems to go wrong around you, when God seems distant or angry with you and you feel yourself getting older and not getting better? How can you be content then?
There are many people out there that will give you three easy steps to contentment, or a product, service or program that will ‘bring you contentment’ but the reality is you already have everything at your disposal to be content!
While it’s not an easy thing to admit or practice, contentment is really about our reaction to the event around us more than it is the actual event, person or place. Contentment isn’t really about being happy! You can be content with your situation even though you aren’t happy about it. You an also be happy on the outside even though internally you are miserable. Paul tells us in Philippians he is content regardless of his circumstances because he ‘learned the secret’ to being content.
I’m not going to be one of those people who gives you the ‘three easy steps to contentment’. First of all, there is nothing easy about being content. Secondly each of us reacts to situations differently. However, here are some ideas to help you on the road to contentment.
First of all, each of us must realize that coming to the point of contentment is a process, a part of the journey of life. Paul says, “I have learned…”. Learning takes time and work and is best learned by experiencing discontentment. If you read the life of Paul you find that he was a man of extraordinary talent, wisdom and spiritual strength. But he was also a man who’d endured prison, had numerous attempts on his life and was physically and emotionally beaten.
I’m sure that the contentment the Paul talks about to the Phillippians was a contentment resulting from all the turmoil of his past. Little by little Paul saw that God provided for him in times of danger and prosperity. He had to go through the bad part of life in order to learn that God could really be trusted to take care of him.
Secondly contentment comes to us when we have a proper view of God, ourselves and others. When contentment is based on external things we are bound to be disappointed. Relationships fail. People fail. Economies and politics take different directions. Life is fluid and sometimes we end up in places we hate to be in.
Contentment based on the Soveriegn God isn’t dependent on external factors. He is always God. He is always in control. He always loves us and wants us to experience his love. Because of this, there is nothing that can effect His working in our lives.
We also need to have a proper view of ourselves. Sometimes the situations we find ourselves in are the result of choices we’ve made in the past or actions others have taken to hurt us. To live a life of contentment we need to forgive ourselves and forgive others for the things of our past. As long as we hold on to the issues of our past we will never be able to experience the contentment that God has for us.
Contentment based on relationships will fail regardless of how good those relationships are because relationships involve humans and humans fail. Sometimes we have to make the hard decisions to end relationships because they are harmful to us emotionally or physically. Ending a bad relationship, in some cases, may be the safest way to find contentment, but this must always involve forgiveness of the offending party as well. Even if trust is no longer possible, forgiveness is a requirement for your own healing.
PRAYER: Father God, there are so many things right now that are keeping me from being content. I worry about my job, my school, my friends, my family. It’s so hard for me to be content when everything seems to be falling apart around me. I realize now that I’ve been basing my contentment on external things and not the eternal and internal things you have for me. Help me to be patient and trusting as you bring the trials I must endure to learn contentment. Empower me with your Holy Spirit to trust you. Amen.
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:14-15
When we’ve been hurt by someone it can take away a part of who we are. In some cases it’s a relatively mild thing. Our feelings are hurt by some sarcastic comment or a ‘friend’ tells us their opinion about something dear to us and it hurts.
In other cases, the violation of who we are is much more severe. We come home and find our home broken into and several things of emotional and physical value taken. Our spouse or significant other is caught in, or confesses to, an affair. We are the victim of assault, rape or domestic abuse.
These and many other things can attack the core of who we are. For that reason, and many others, forgiveness is tough. Somewhere along the line we’ve come to believe that forgiveness says, ‘What you did to me is okay’ or ‘I probably deserved all I got and more’ or a variety of other self-defamatory responses.
None of these things are true of course. Being hurt is never okay. Broken trust is, in some cases, impossible to mend. But forgiveness isn’t about justifying the actions of another person. Nor is forgiveness about condoning the attack. Forgiveness is about our own personal freedom. Forgiveness says, ‘I will not allow you to continue to control my emotions and my feelings about myself. I’m okay. I’m made in God’s image. Your actions against me were wrong, but I will not dwell on them. I will not allow your pain to cripple me for the rest of my life. I’m releasing you into the hands of God.’
Jesus often talked about forgiveness during His ministry on earth. In Matthew He states that we are to forgive others in order for God to forgive us. Forgiveness of our sins against God is forgiven only because of Jesus. Forgiveness can come no other way and by no action of our own.
Forgiveness of others is a choice. We have the power to make a decision to forgive others. We may not have the power to complete the process, but God’s Holy Spirit will help us with that.
Our refusal to forgive others is our choice. Much as He would like to intervene in the process, God has no choice but to allow us to choose to be unforgiving. He has no choice but to allow the consequences of unforgiveness (bitterness, anger, hatred, broken relationship) to plague us throughout our lives.
Forgiveness isn’t an attack on our personal integrity but being unforgiving is. Lifestyle forgiveness is a character trait that says “I will not allow the hurt you have brought into my life to affect how I feel about myself, others or even you. In the power of the Holy Spirit I am freeing myself of your control.”
PRAYER: Father God. I confess to you that I am struggling with hatred, bitterness and anger over the hurt that others have caused me in my past and present. I ask that your Holy Spirit would empower me to be able to forgive those who have hurt me so that I can live free of the bitterness, anger and hatred that are controlling me. Thank you that you love me just as I am. I’m your child. I will go forth this day free of the control that has bound me. Thank you Jesus. Amen.
This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live. Deuteronomy 30:19
God is pro-choice. Not in the way some people would like to think. His definition of pro-choice goes far beyond the abortion controversy. God’s version of pro-choice has to do with everything we encounter in life. Moses says, “This day…” and it’s a reminder that every day, when we first open our eyes we choose. We choose between life and death, between blessing and cursing.
We have no choice but to choose! To choose between blessing and cursing means that our daily life will either be a blessing to those we come in contact with or a curse. It’s our choice. Paul adds to that when he says in Romans, “So much as is possible live at peace with all people.” Like Moses he’s telling us that every day we must choose to live peacefully with others to the best of our God-given ability.
When we are abused we have the choice to bless through forgiveness or to curse through hatred.
When we are disappointed in God or others we have the choice to bless through contentment or to curse through growing bitter.
When we suffer injustice we have the choice to bless by accepting the decision or to curse through growing bitter.
When we go through broken relationships we have the choice to bless by taking responsibility for our part and moving on or curse by living in shame and regret.
When we others let us down we have the choice to bless by trusting or the curse of accusing them before all the facts are out.
When we choose to bless, it doesn’t mean we agree with the other person. When we choose to bless it certainly doesn’t mean we condone what they have done to us. When we choose to bless we release our own bondage to the person so that the free life of Christ can live through us. Blessing always brings life. Cursing always brings death. Blessing enables us to live in freedom; cursing forces us into bondage. Blessing means I realize who I am as a Christ-follower; Cursing means I’ve forgotten what it means to be a child of God.
Humanly speaking, we don’t have the strength to take the actions to bless on a daily basis. We need to rely on the power of the Holy Spirit for that. But we do have the power to choose! When we choose to bless we choose life not only for ourselves but for others and life is freeing! All of heaven is watching you today, to see which you choose!
PRAYER: Father God. I ask that today I would be a blessing to those around me. I choose life over death. It is so easy to curse through words and actions and so hard to bless when others are so selfish. I ask that you would empower me through your Spirit to see ways in my life to be a blessing and impart your life to others. Amen.
Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close. Psalm 27:10 (NLT)
There lies in the heart of each of us a desire to be loved and to be wanted. That inner confidence that we know we are needed and that if we were gone, someone would miss us. The peace of knowing someone cares and that when everyone else turns their back on us, there is at least one person we can turn to for a heartfelt hug, a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear.
For many of people that’s what family is for. Family is that one foundation, that one cornerstone that throughout history has proven itself to be the most consistent, reliable and faithful place to find love, acceptance and understanding.
Friends move or find other interests. Marriages, some of which have lasted almost half a century, end in divorce and send children of any age reeling and seeking answers. Illnesses, emotional distress, financial ruin, greed all take their toll. But family is always supposed to be there for us.
In David’s Psalm of praise (Psalm 27) he recounts the many ways that God can be trusted and praised. Friends can fail us. We have adversaries that seek our demise. Brothers can turn on you and tell you how embarrassed they are to have you as a sibling. Sometimes even parents can turn their backs on you when you don’t meet up to their own lofty expectations.
But God is there. Have you ever been in a crowd of people you know and still feel lonely? Have you ever reached out for someone to talk to and found everyone too busy to really listen? Have you ever made a decision that was so repulsive that even your family excludes you from their circle?
Know this. Your Heavenly Father hears your cries in the night even when it seems your prayers don’t go past the ceiling. During those lonely times He feels the same knot in your stomach. His heart sinks when He sees how you are treated. No one. Not friends, family, your lover, no one understands like Jesus. He is your friend in the midst of the darkest hour.
PRAYER: Dear Jesus. There are times in my life when I’m so full of loneliness and despair that I’m not sure I can go on. No one seems to understand me or listen to me or care if I’m even around. There are times I confess I don’t even think you care. Help me this day to know that you love me with all the scars, with all the bruises, with all the issues that pull me down. I love you. Help me to feel your love. Amen.
Mike Fisk & Built with Grace 