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But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.” Mark 11:25-26 (NLT)
It’s tucked away, almost hidden, within Jesus’ teaching on prayer. The disciples were looking for answers. Jesus had just stated that using the power of prayer the disciples had the ability to move mountains. Then, almost as though He read their minds He answered a question that hadn’t been answered.
It’s as if one (or more) of the disciples was thinking: “I pray. I have faith in you. I believe. I don’t want to move mountains. I just want to understand my kids!” Jesus tells them that to have real power, to see God move mightily in your life and in the lives of others around you, here is the secret. Forgive.
Unresolved conflict and anger bind us and our prayer lives. When we harbor grudges, judgmental attitudes and a critical spirit against someone else it keeps Gods power from manifesting itself through us.
It’s interesting to note what Jesus doesn’t say in this passage. He doesn’t tell the disciples to “Go and have a conversation with the person and tell them you forgive them.” His statement concerns His followers DURING their prayer time. While they are praying, during the very process of their time with the Heavenly Father, forgive.
Forgiving others does not condone what they have done to you. If you have been abused, especially emotionally, the abuser won’t admit to anything anyway. It doesn’t require any action on the part of the perpetrator of your wound.
Forgiveness of others is between you and God. No one else needs to be involved. While there may be times when God will eventually lead you to confront the person you need to forgive, it really is an agreement between you and your Heavenly Father to release yourself from their grip of hate, anger or pain.
Forgiveness frees you. When you are angry at someone, it could be because of some intentional act on their part, or something that they did unintentionally, it causes a wound that refuses to heal. Forgiveness is a healing salve that comforts and soothes. Forgiveness is for your benefit, not the benefit of anyone else.
Forgiveness is humanly initiated, yet supernaturally accomplished. Sometimes the pain we endure is so great that we have to come to the Father over and over again to confess our inability to let go of the pain that was caused. The first step to healing is to confess our pain and anger to God and ask Him to empower you to forgive. From that point forward it is His working in you, and in the situation to free you from the horrific bondage of a wounded soul.
Forgiveness takes time. It isn’t some magic oil that you apply once to the wound and it’s gone. When you bear a grudge or have been hurt in some way it is like a physical wound, in some cases worse than that. Just as the wound take time to heal, forgiveness takes time to work its way through the pain. Be patient. Don’t allow the abuse or mistakes of your past to imprison you. Let the healing salve of forgiveness free you for all God has in store.
PRAYER: Heavenly Father. I never thought I’d have to admit to you that I harbor hatred towards others. Some of my hatred is because of what has been done to my loved ones. Some of it is because of direct or indirect attacks from others. Some of it, I confess, is a result of my inability to remember that I’m your child and I’ve allowed others to attack who I am in you. Help me to forgive. Empower me with your Spirit today to free myself from the prison others have me in. Show me grace so that I can show it to others. Thank you for loving me. Amen.
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord. Ephesians 6:4 (NLT)
Sometimes it’s important to remember that the chapter numbers and verse numbers in the Bible are fairly recent additions. Before that there were no divisions to the books and letters of the Bible. The reader would understand the change in thought processes of the author by wording and grammatical changes much as we do in a novel or other piece of journalism.
When the Apostle Paul was writing to the church in Ephesus he was writing about practical living as Christ followers. The particular section our verse comes from today is a whole section on family living that begins with “And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (5:21). Then Paul goes on to give examples to wives, husbands, parents, children and bosses and employees on how to be submissive to each other because of Jesus Christ and our desire to follow Him.
When Paul addresses fathers in Ephesians 6:4 he’s not really telling the rest of us to stop listening. The lesson he is teaching fathers is one each of us should learn to follow. The lesson is basically this. Our actions towards others should never intentionally cause them to be angry.
Discipline has gotten a bad rap in our society because it is often linked with or confused with punishment. The root word of ‘discipline’ is disciple, a word that implies a follower or a set of rules or a person. It is not a ‘forced event’ but a voluntary one. Punishment on the other hand is something that is forced upon a person.
- Punishment can be done in anger and cause permanent damage.
- Discipline is never done in anger and while it can be painful, the pain is temporary.
- Punishment can cause hatred or frustration on the part of the receiver.
- Discipline may cause temporary misunderstanding but eventually the receiver see the value of the ‘rules’.
- Punishment can often be an act of aggression and frustration on the part of the deliverer of the punishment.
- Discipline is done in patience and love.
- Punishment can be administered to protect the person who does the punishment to ‘protect himself’.
- Discipline is always done for the benefit of the receiver, perhaps even at some cost to the person doing the discipling.
- Punishment degrades both parties in the ‘situation’.
- Discipline elevates both parties in the ‘situation’.
- Punishment forces the individual being punished into a mold that may not be in his/her best interest.
- Discipline shapes a person’s character in a way that best fulfills his/her gifts and abilities.
- Punishment changes behavior.
- Discipline grows character.
- Punishment is quick and effective.
- Discipline is time consuming and eternal.
Each of us, no matter what role we play in life will, at some time, be in a position where we are training others for life’s journey. The best way we can do that is to disciple those around us by:
- allowing them to grow at their own pace.
- showing them the way of true life through Jesus Christ.
- Praying that Jesus will change their minds towards Him.
- Patiently determining to love them regardless of the choices they make.
PRAYER: Holy Father. I am a victim of punishment done with good intent but with painful results. As I’ve grown older I’ve tended to follow the same patterns I learned as I grew up. Empower me through your Holy Spirit to love as Jesus loved, disciple as He disciple and help those around me to grow in character as a result of what they see in me. Forgive me for the pain I’ve caused. Heal the scars of my past. Amen.
You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. Psalm 32:7
He was caught red-handed. There was no way out. He was without excuse, without defense, and, in a word: GUILTY. He’d tried other hiding places. He’d tried to cover-up his weakness. He’d tried to blame others. But nothing worked.
As King David looked back over his life he remembered a time when he wallowed in guilt and pain. He describes his pain. His whole body groaned with agony. He was losing sleep. He was beaten and bruised emotionally. Perhaps it was shortly after the whole affair with Bathsheba. No doubt the guilt was based on the affair itself, the murder that followed and finally being exposed for the sinner he was and the death of the baby he’d fathered illegitimately.
As he sits down to write Psalm 32, David likely describes his feelings as he went through this most difficult time of his life. As he relives the pain he remembers that in the midst of his failure, his place of refuge was the very one who he’d failed: God.
It was his faith in God and God’s willingness to forgive his sin that brought David the healing his aching emotions needed to continue on. Consequences still had to be endured. There would always be scars and always be those who would remind him of his failure. But during those times he knew he could always run to the waiting arms of God for comfort, safety and salve for his wounded soul.
The same is true for each of us as we travel life’s journey. We will encounter those times when our soul groans within us. We may try to escape the pain. Some have tried drugs and alcohol or other addictive behavior. Others have tried new relationships, different careers or playing the blame game to cover their own pain. But nothing works. Often, if not always, attempts to heal ourselves only add to the pain.
Life events can leave us battered and bruised, wounded and scared and seemingly unable to go on. That’s when Jesus becomes our perfect hiding place. It doesn’t matter if the wounds you are enduring right now are a result of your own poor choices or the evil acts of another person. Nothing in this world can soothe the wounds we encounter in life like the healing salve of Jesus’ unending love and forgiveness.
David yearned for the peace and contentment of honest living. He longed to be able to return to a life without fear, without lies, without the shadows of his past constantly haunting him. He found relief in the same place each of us can, in the arms a loving and forgiving God. He earnestly waits for you to come to him.
PRAYER: Holy Father. You know I didn’t sleep again last night. You know the agony and pain my body is in. I’m tired of running. I’m tired of trying to hide in places that only further reveal my failure to follow you. Please forgive me for the times I’ve refused to follow you and chosen my own way. I’ve hurt others, I’ve hurt myself and I long for the healing I can only find in you. Help me this day to hide in your arms of love, forgiveness and healing. Amen.
And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires. 2 Peter 1:4 (NLT)
Rules. No one really likes them. Even when you are the one making the rules you don’t really like them. Rules can be made for many reasons. Some people make rules to protect themselves, to gain power over others, or to stop some issue that they have a personal problem with.
Nations have fallen and lives have been lost because people revolted against the rule makers or the rule makers enforced the rules harshly. Rules, by nature, carry with them the idea that you can’t have freedom and rules at the same time. Ironically, that is a rule in and of itself.
Rules can also be made with our best interest in mind. “Don’t touch a hot stove.” “Look both ways when crossing a street.” “Don’t do drugs.” Good rules. Made with your best interest in mind. No control issues there.
But we still get burned. We still get hit by cars when we run into the street. We still get addicted to drugs. Why? Because the human nature, the voices of the enemy tell us that we are invincible. We go ahead and have the affair because we’ll be careful and not hurt anyone. Speeding this time won’t hurt. Wearing a seat belt when I drive is being a sissy. We make up all sorts of excuses.
But breaking rules really amounts to one thing that none of us really wants to admit. Sin is fun. That’s another lie the enemy tells us and to be honest, he’s right…sort of. There’s something in our human nature, the adventurous side that tells us it’s exciting to live free of rules and that nothing bad will happen to us or others.
Oftentimes, people who proudly flaunt their lives of ‘freedom’ do so to cover up a gaping wound. They try to fill that wound with all sorts of things. Activities, friends, drugs, sex, multiple partners, even good things like working for charities. But they just can’t fill that wound.
The Apostle Peter shows us how to fill the void. The salve that heals our wound isn’t found in ourselves. It isn’t found in anything we see or do in this world. Healing comes through faith in Jesus Christ. The rules, so to speak, that He gives us for daily living aren’t so He can control us. They are there solely for our benefit.
That wound inside yourself can only be filled through forgiveness and faith in Jesus. The old nature, your human side, will still try to draw you back to the old ways. The ways of so-called freedom, but you know that so-called freedom only leads to more pain.
Allow the promises and new life of Christ to empower you to live in true freedom. Freedom from the guilt, the pain, the fear of being caught, the fear of death itself. He promises to empower you through His Spirit to live a full, refreshing, happy life free from the pain of the wound.
PRAYER: God in Heaven. I’ve known about you for a long time. I’ve even given my life to you at one point. But the pain of this wound was too great. I tried to fill it with things that didn’t satisfy and ended up hurting myself and others. Please forgive me for my weakness. Empower me to live for you in freedom. Thank you for your promises of excellence and power in my life. I accept your forgiveness and resolve to live in your power from this day forward. Amen.
Mike Fisk & Built with Grace 