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For I am the least of all the apostles. In fact, I’m not even worthy to be called an apostle after the way I persecuted God’s church. 1 Corinthians 15:9
“I don’t deserve this.”
How many times do we hear that said, or maybe we’ve said that after we’ve been criticized or wrongfully accused. Maybe we’ve been judged unfairly for not meeting the expectations of others. Then there are the times when people play the comparison game, “Not bad, but sally does it better.”
Life is hard when it never seems like we can catch a break. If there was anyone who deserved to be scrutinized, the Apostle Paul was one.
He was a Pharisee, and likely had some part in the decision to murder Jesus. He gleefully watched the stoning of Stephen after Jesus’ resurrection and ascension. He celebrated the persecution, imprisonment and physical beating each follower of ‘The Way’ received.
After his conversion to Jesus, Paul was called to preach this same Jesus that he’d ridiculed earlier. There were many who doubted him, right up until the day he died. Among other things, he was beaten, jailed, stoned and left for dead, and shipwrecked.
Paul could have said, ‘I don’t deserve all this! I’m the Apostle Paul after all. I was called by Jesus Himself. I’m important.” But he didn’t.
Instead Paul counted himself of being unworthy of any ministry at all because of his former life. The mistreatment he endured was nothing compared to what Jesus endured.
Jesus was completely innocent of any sin, yet rejected, abused and murdered. Elsewhere Paul says he would gladly go through abuse because of what Jesus endured for him.
None of us deserve to be mistreated on the physical plain, yet compared to God’s Holy standards, we all deserve so much more. We deserve death, but Jesus gives us life. We deserve punishment for our sins, but Jesus gives us forgiveness. We deserve poverty, Jesus provides from heavens storehouses.
I don’t deserve the abuse I get, but in reality, I deserve so much more! Thank you Jesus for sparing me from what I truly deserve.
Last of all, as though I had been born at the wrong time, I also saw him. 1 Corinthians 15:8
We can’t be sure, but it’s very likely that the man we know as the Apostle Paul at least knew ABOUT Jesus while he ministered on earth.
Saul, as he was known before his conversion, was a high ranking Pharisee and would have heard about this ‘teacher from Galilee. He would have heard about the miracles. He could have heard about His teachings. He may have even been involved in planning his death!
One might ask, how could someone see so many good things and still reject Jesus? How could one see the miracles and still not believe? How could one see the life changes and still doubt?
Yet, that was Saul’s story until that fateful day on a road to Damascus. Saul was enjoying the prestige and power he had over these ‘followers of the way’ these believers in Jesus. He spewed hate, anger and judgment. He basked in the glory of his violence.
Then he saw Jesus in a new way and everything changed. There are still many who know ABOUT Jesus. They’ve heard the stories. They’ve seen the life change. Yet they have yet to ‘see’ Jesus.
There are even those of us who have walked with Jesus for years that have a tendency to grow so content with Him that we fail to live in the power of His Spirit living within us.
May we each see Jesus for who He is in all His power and majesty. May we never grow apathetic in our worship of Him. May we live in such a way that others see Jesus because of how we interact with them.
For God saved us and called us to live a holy life. He did this, not because we deserved it, but because that was his plan from before the beginning of time—to show us his grace through Christ Jesus. 2 Timothy 1:9
I was taken back by her response. She’d made some choices that had huge implications for three families. Two had already ended in divorce as a result of her actions. Yet she tried to justify it by saying, “But I’m happy. God wants us happy, right?”
I have to admit I didn’t respond like I should have. I stuttered a, “yes”. Afterwards I wished I’d had the answer I received after I left the conversation.
Does God want us happy? The human logic says yes. After all, He’s a God of love, right? As our father, wouldn’t He want us happy? After all, any loving parent wants their child to be happy. Right?
On the surface the answer may be ‘yes’ until you start to dig deeper. If my child wants something to eat, I’ll certainly want him to be happy and give them food (healthy food that is). But what about if they ask to drink a glass of gasoline? What if they want to play with a loaded gun? What if…well, I think you get the idea.
Before God wants us happy, He wants us holy. Holiness on God’s level is perfection and we will never reach that in this early life. But holiness on the human level is different.
Holiness on the human level means to be set apart, to follow the direction and plan of God. Holiness may not lead to the emotional happiness of the human heart, but it will lead to the joy of realizing God’s peace in our lives.
Human holiness leads to a deeper relationship with God. Happiness on the human plain does not, it hinders our relationship with God. God’s plan has always been for relationship. He knew we would fail but He loved us anyway. A believer’s purpose in life is two fold. First is to be Holy (only possible through the Holy Spirit). God knew we would be enticed by shiny things in our environment, but gave us grace. We are called to live in holiness as a result of the Holy Spirit working through us. God intends our holiness to empower others to partake in the blessings he has for us.
True happiness comes with the Holy Spirit’s working in us to exhibit holiness. Sometimes I think ‘holiness’ is better translated ‘whole-ness’. When we live in God’s holiness we feel complete no matter what circumstances we find ourselves in.
Be careful to live properly among your unbelieving neighbors. Then even if they accuse you of doing wrong, they will see your honorable behavior, and they will give honor to God when he judges the world. 1 Peter 2:12
Years ago I had two girls that attended the youth group I led. One of the girls came from a great Christian home and the other came from a home was full of hate and anger. The girl from the stable home, I’ll call her Jill, was best friends with Mary (also not her real name).
Jill’s parents shared with me their concern with this friendship. Mary had a temper and quite often, in a fit of rage would say things hurtful to Jill and, on a couple occasions, actually hit her. Mom & dad wanted this friendship to end for the safety of their daughter and came to me to see if I could help.
I agreed to talk with Jill. What she said to me has stuck with me all these years, Jill said, “Mary doesn’t have a single friend in the whole school. If I’m not her friend she has no body. Jesus was the friend of many who hated him. I need to be a friend to Mary.”
The story has a positive ending thankfully. Through Jill’s patient endurance and the prayer of many, eventually Mary found Jesus. She’s been married for many years in a Christ-filled home thanks to the patient and positive influence of one person who refused to give up on her.
We can’t always choose whose life God calls us to be a positive influence in. We are never called to put ourselves in danger. Yet through wisdom, patience and prayer we can see even the hardest heart softened by the Holy Spirit.
Be careful not to get sucked into the negativity of a toxic relationship. Yet, at the same time, don’t be afraid to trust the Holy Spirit to change lives through you!
My enemies will retreat when I call to you for help. This I know: God is on my side! Psalms 56:9
Sometimes scripture is more meaningful if we read it in reverse. For example, Psalm 56:9 says, “My enemies will retreat when I call to you for help…”
So, what happens in the opposite? What happens when I don’t call on the Lord for help. Then what happens to my enemies? They attack of course!
How many times are we in battle with an enemy and grow weary in the fighting simply because we haven’t called for support from our God? Jesus says the enemy is intent on killing and destroying us emotionally, spiritually, perhaps even physically.
Sociologists tell us that when we are in battle we have two main options, fight or flight. I suggest that for us as believers we have a third option. We can fight, but the enemy is too strong. We can flee, but reality is the battles most of us are in run faster than we do. When fighting isn’t possible and running isn’t reasonable try calling.
Our God is just waiting in the wings to give aid. The enemy scoffs at our futile attempts to defeat him, but when he sees God in his power he flees. Don’t fight battles you were never intended to fight. Give them over to the one who will fight for you.
Mike Fisk & Built with Grace 