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For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:14-15
When we’ve been hurt by someone it can take away a part of who we are. In some cases it’s a relatively mild thing. Our feelings are hurt by some sarcastic comment or a ‘friend’ tells us their opinion about something dear to us and it hurts.
In other cases, the violation of who we are is much more severe. We come home and find our home broken into and several things of emotional and physical value taken. Our spouse or significant other is caught in, or confesses to, an affair. We are the victim of assault, rape or domestic abuse.
These and many other things can attack the core of who we are. For that reason, and many others, forgiveness is tough. Somewhere along the line we’ve come to believe that forgiveness says, ‘What you did to me is okay’ or ‘I probably deserved all I got and more’ or a variety of other self-defamatory responses.
None of these things are true of course. Being hurt is never okay. Broken trust is, in some cases, impossible to mend. But forgiveness isn’t about justifying the actions of another person. Nor is forgiveness about condoning the attack. Forgiveness is about our own personal freedom. Forgiveness says, ‘I will not allow you to continue to control my emotions and my feelings about myself. I’m okay. I’m made in God’s image. Your actions against me were wrong, but I will not dwell on them. I will not allow your pain to cripple me for the rest of my life. I’m releasing you into the hands of God.’
Jesus often talked about forgiveness during His ministry on earth. In Matthew He states that we are to forgive others in order for God to forgive us. Forgiveness of our sins against God is forgiven only because of Jesus. Forgiveness can come no other way and by no action of our own.
Forgiveness of others is a choice. We have the power to make a decision to forgive others. We may not have the power to complete the process, but God’s Holy Spirit will help us with that.
Our refusal to forgive others is our choice. Much as He would like to intervene in the process, God has no choice but to allow us to choose to be unforgiving. He has no choice but to allow the consequences of unforgiveness (bitterness, anger, hatred, broken relationship) to plague us throughout our lives.
Forgiveness isn’t an attack on our personal integrity but being unforgiving is. Lifestyle forgiveness is a character trait that says “I will not allow the hurt you have brought into my life to affect how I feel about myself, others or even you. In the power of the Holy Spirit I am freeing myself of your control.”
PRAYER: Father God. I confess to you that I am struggling with hatred, bitterness and anger over the hurt that others have caused me in my past and present. I ask that your Holy Spirit would empower me to be able to forgive those who have hurt me so that I can live free of the bitterness, anger and hatred that are controlling me. Thank you that you love me just as I am. I’m your child. I will go forth this day free of the control that has bound me. Thank you Jesus. Amen.
For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) Ephesians 5:8-9
No one would blame you for bumping into things in the dark. You can’t see where you are going. You don’t see obstacles in your path. You make choices and decisions based on what you know.
Sometimes, if you are in familiar surroundings, you can do pretty well walking in the dark. You remember where the obstacles were and can plan accordingly. But even then, your chances of miscalculating are great. We can end up in places we never thought we’d be if we rely on our instincts in the dark.
Perhaps the Apostle Paul was thinking of the times he wandered in the dark when he wrote these words to the church in Ephesus. He may have been reminded of the times he’d escaped with his life, or the times sitting in the dark, wet, smelly prisons. Darkness was no stranger to Paul.
Paul also knew the warmth and safety of light. Light enables us to steer clear of obstacles. Light enables us to make clear, rational decisions. Light keeps us from being deceived by the shadows that lurk when darkness surrounds us.
Paul says, “Now we are children of light”. That means things are different now. We can’t be blamed for the actions we did in the dark. We didn’t know better. But now. Now we can see. The mistakes of our past, the poor decisions we made in the darkness are behind us. In another letter Paul says “I set aside those things in my past and press on.” What he is saying is that when he was in darkness he did things that now he regrets. But he’d been forgiven. He was free. He was in the light.
As a Christ-follower we no longer need to regret the things of our past. Because of Jesus love and forgiveness we can come to Him and ask forgiveness. Then, moving on in the light, we can trust Him to guide us into making decisions that are better for us and those around us.
Don’t let the shadows of your dark past continue to haunt you. Because of Jesus we can now walk in the light!
PRAYER: Dear Jesus, I thank you that because of you I can walk in the light. While I was in darkness there were so many people I hurt. So many things I regret. So many stupid decsions I made that I still have scars from. Forgive me for those choices. Enable me, through your Spirit, to walk boldly in the light. Remove the shadows of my past from me so I can live free in you. Amen.
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24
What do you see when you look in the mirror? Not a physical piece of shiny glass, what about the spiritual and emotional mirror? Who do you see when no one else is watching? What’s hidden beneath the surface that no one else can see and no one else can understand?
Most of us don’t like to look at ourselves in a mirror (or at least we don’t admit it!). We have a vision of what we want to be like, what we want to look like and all too often a mirror doesn’t ‘reflect’ the vision we’d hoped for.
How we see ourselves in our ‘emotional/spiritual’ mirror will affect how we see ourselves in a physical mirror as well as how we react to others, to adversity and even success. Our vision of self drives our emotions, our spiritual lives and our relationships.
King David knew how fickle each of us can be. Our vision is so affected by how we see ourselves that it can change by the day or by the minute. One adverse event can ruin our whole day or even our lives. That’s why David went to the source of all knowledge for an opinion about himself.
‘Search me’, he says and with that request he gives God ‘permission’ so to speak, to shine a light on every corner of his being. That’s scary stuff! None of us would dare ask that of even our closest friends because we’d be afraid of what they’d find. There are feelings, thoughts, attitudes and painful experiences buried deep within each of us. Some we have tried to cover up with toys, with drugs and addictions and with multiple relationships. Some of the pain we suffer from has become so much a part of us that we no longer even remember why we are hurting. The pain has become ‘normal’.
David went to God for the searching because he knew that God would look upon him with eyes of love and compassion. He will do the same for you. When we let God reveal our deepest, darkest secrets, those hidden pains and fears, we take the first step to true freedom. God doesn’t reveal our hidden places to condemn us. He reveals our hidden places to free us.
John tells us, “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” (John 3:17) As followers of the Lord Jesus Christ we can be at peace with who we are with all our blemishes, all our bruises and all the ugly scars that we try to hide with emotional make-up. God made you as you are. You are His child. Ask Him to reveal all that you are. Trust Him to do so with compassion, gentleness and love.
PRAYER: Father God. I come to you today with fear. I’m afraid of what you will find in my life if I invite you to search every corner of my being. There are times when I don’t like myself, my past and my present. But I believe you when you say you love me and won’t condemn me. Give me the courage to open every area of my life to you. Remove my feelings of fear, guilt and inadequacy. Forgive me for the harm I’ve caused to myself and others. Free me to live for you through your Spirit. Amen.
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever. 1 Chronicles 16:34
In Old Testament times the Ark of the Covenant symbolized the very presence of God. For years the Ark had sat virtually ignored in a field outside Jerusalem. David made two attempts to bring the Ark home. The first attempt led to disaster, but in 1 Chronicles 16 the Ark is finally brought to the City of David, its rightful place. The entire city joined in the celebration with music and dancing. God was back on His throne and the people were ecstatic!
David wrote a praise that Asaph, the temple worship leader, led the people in. The song was full of praise and worship to God for His faithfulness throughout the years. God had done exactly as He said He would do in spite of Israel’s inability to follow God.
There is a story behind the scenes each of us needs to be aware of as we travel through life. When the Ark was gone it was as though God’s blessing was absent. The people still went about their daily duties. Worship still happened on a limited basis, but there was something missing, the true presence of God.
Because of Jesus we can experience the presence of God at anytime and anyplace, any time of the day. Unlike the days of King David, we don’t need to rely on an ‘ark’ or a church building to worship God. He is always with us, always loving us, always ready to hold us in His everlasting arms of love.
Sometimes we can feel the way David did when the Ark was gone, as though the presence of God were missing in our lives. It’s easy to let things get in the way of our worship of God and the sense of His presence in our lives. It’s as though we have left Him in the field just as Israel left the Ark in the field. We know He is there. We think of Him occasionally through the day, but have no real meaningful communication with Him.
Many things can cause us to ‘leave God in the field’. For some it’s due to a hectic schedule. We have jobs to get to, friends to visit, school to attend and children to raise. The busier we get the more likely we are to neglect the most important thing: our relationship with God.
We leave God in the field when we become disappointed. Our disappointment may be with people when they let us down. This is especially true when people who claim to be ‘christian’ act nothing like Christ. We get burned by their religious bigotry and hypocrisy
Our disappointment may be with God Himself. We pray and get no answers. We read and don’t understand. Religious ritual becomes a meaningless waste of time and energy we would rather use on the golf course or with friends.
God doesn’t move away from us. We move away from Him in subtle, almost undetectable ways. The beauty of the situation is that we can bring God out of the field. He is always there waiting. His love never fails us. His compassion and mercy are there for us. He doesn’t hold grudges.
As Christ-followers it is imperative that we take God out of the field and bring Him into a prominent place in our lives so that we can feel His presence in a real and marvelous way. Make time on a daily basis to have some honest communication with God. Read His word. Talk to Him as you would a loving father or best friend. He’s in the field waiting for you now. He doesn’t care about ‘why you left Him in the field.’ He just wants to be a vital part of your life.
PRAYER: Father God. I’ve known You were in my life somewhere, but I have missed your presence. I realize today that I’ve let all sorts of things get in the way of our relationship. I don’t pray the way I used to. My Bible has dust on it. I miss you. I’m coming to the field. I ask that you will come back with me. I want to restore the passion I once had to follow you. I can’t do it alone. Empower me with your presence to get over the hurt I feel because of disappointment with You and others. Cleanse me from the emptiness of religion and fill me with relationship with you. In Jesus name, Amen.
‘and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us’. Matthew 6:12 (NLT)
“I forgive you”. Three of the toughest words we will ever say and perhaps the toughest to live out. There are sometimes when forgiveness is easy. Those times when someone does some small infraction that really had no effect on us. They feel far worse than we do. We forgive them, they feel better and that’s the end of it.
It’s those other times when forgiveness is tough. Those times when we’ve been let down by close friends or family. Once is hard, but then it happens over and over again and we begin to doubt their sincerity. They say they are sorry. They say they will try harder or they will ‘never do that again’ but the more they fail the less we believe their words.
There are times forgiveness seems to be completely impossible. You’ve been hurt. The hurt may be physical. The bruises will heal, but the trust has been broken. While physical hurt is painful, the real pain is in the emotions. Emotional scars heal much slower than physical. Sometimes emotional scars never heal. People you meet on the street everyday wear masks and smiles that hide unbearable pain. They are in the coffee shops and restraints. They are in the doctor’s office and the post office. They are in the schools and the churches. They bear the weight of emotional scars and the baggage of not being able to forgive and move on.
Forgiveness is toughest when it isn’t asked for. You’ve been hurt-badly. Once the physical pain is gone the emotional goes on. The perpetrator knows. He/she just doesn’t care. You are left in a pool of pain, sorrow, embarrassment and hurt. Forgiveness certainly isn’t warranted or deserved. It’s not even asked for! But if you don’t forgive, the pain grows like a painful, cancerous growth producing anger, bitterness and hate.
We don’t forgive others because they ask for it or even deserve it. We forgive to free ourselves from the pain. Forgiveness isn’t about them. It’s about you. To forgive the undeserving isn’t about reconciliation, it’s about freedom.
Jesus says we should pray: ‘and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us’ Matthew 6:12 (NLT). To forgive as we’ve been forgiven! Some forgive conditionally: “If you do this again…”; Others forgive under obligation: “God said I have to forgive you, so I guess I do…”; Others forgive but reserve the right to remind you of this fault at a later, more convenient date.
Jesus says we are to forgive as He does. His forgiveness is complete. All we have to do is come to him, confess our faults and ask forgiveness. Then we move on, trusting His Holy Spirit to empower us to try harder. Sometimes we succeed. Sometimes we struggle and fail. Always we are forgiven by Him.
There are some people who have hurt you deeply. Forgiveness won’t come through your power. It won’t come overnight. It will some as you rely on God to empower you with the ability to let go of the pain caused by others and be free to let go. Forgiving doesn’t make you less of a person, it makes you more like Jesus.
PRAYER: Father God. You know my heart. There are people in my life that have hurt me deeply and continue to do so. I’m angry, I’m frustrated and bitter. I know I should forgive but have no power to do so. I want to be free of this pain. I want to let go and live more like Jesus. I confess my inability to you and ask you to forgive me. Empower me with your Spirit to forgive and live free of this burden. I Jesus name, Amen.
Mike Fisk & Built with Grace 