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Where God’s love is, there is no fear, because God’s perfect love drives out fear. It is punishment that makes a person fear, so love is not made perfect in the person who fears. 1 John 4:18 (NCV)
As my children approached the age where they could drive, we made a family rule. It was a simple rule intended to instill the importance of safety, not intended to cause pain or harm. The rule was that if, in the first month of driving on their own, they got a speeding ticket, they would lose driving privileges for one week. I’d get their license and their keys.
One night my daughter was returning from the city with some friends. As she came off the interstate and onto the highway leading home she instinctively hit the cruise control. Within a mile she was back up to the interstate cruising speed. Within a couple more miles she saw the dreaded flashing red lights in her rear view mirror.
The problem was, the interstate speed was too fast for the highway speed. She was given a ticket for speeding. I still remember the night this all happened. She walked into the house license and keys in hand and gave them to me. She then told us what happened (her version of course). In the course of the conversation she mentioned that one of her friends asked if she was afraid to come home and tell me about the ticket. My daughter told her “No, I know what will happen.” That was the end of it.
I wish I could say this was an example of every disciplinary action at our home, but it wasn’t. It does given an example of God’s love though. My daughter knew well in advance of the consequences. There was no yelling or screaming, and there were no surprises. In a love relationship that’s how ‘wrongs’ are handled.
When the Father came looking for Adam and Eve for his evening walk, they hid in the bushes. Why? They were afraid. Did they have reason? Well, they thought they did. However, God certainly wasn’t surprised by their actions. There is no indication in scripture that the interaction between God and the couple was full of anger. He was harsh with the serpent, but he was gentle in handing out the natural consequences of Adam and Eve’s sin.
That first account of sin is a perfect example of love without fear. Even though God handed out consequences, he also handed out healing. When God took away the fig leaves and clothed them with animal skins it was a symbol of taking away the shame and offering emotional healing.
God’s not into punishment. What he is into is doing whatever is necessary to bring us into a loving relationship with him. A loving relationship built on trust, mercy and grace. A relationship that drives out fear and brings peace.
The phrase “Just wait until your father comes home” is sometimes used when punishment is inevitable. But when it comes to your Heavenly Father there is no fear in his return. He loves you. The sin you bear need only be a temporary glitch in the relationship. A glitch that can be forgiven through Jesus.
PRAYER: Father God, I praise you for your love and patience with me. I thank you for the fact that your love is a love that harbors no fear, no revenge and no anger. Empower me to live free of the lies the enemy tells me about your anger with me. Help me to show love to others the way you have shown love to me. Amen.
So don’t boast about following a particular human leader. For everything belongs to you—whether Paul or Apollos or Peter, or the world, or life and death, or the present and the future. Everything belongs to you, and you belong to Christ, and Christ belongs to God. 1 Corinthians 3:21-23 (NLT)
You’ve seen the commercials on TV. A well-dressed, successful person tells you about themselves. They are smart, good looking and obviously have made the best of life. After telling you all about themselves, their successes and how they have made positive changes in their world, they summarize all the good things by telling you that they are a particular religious group. The next time you see the commercial notice that the person talking doesn’t say they belong to or are a part of the group. They ARE the group. Whether by design or otherwise the message is clear. If you want to know what my religious group looks like or what it can do for you, look at me. I’m the example of what you can be.
Now, this isn’t a treatise for or against this group. Whether you agree with their theology or not you have to admire the creativity of their marketing. Want to be successful in life? Want to make a difference in your world? It’s as though the speaker is looking straight into your eyes and saying, “Want to have people admire you like you are admiring me right now? Become a ____________. Your world will change!”
Don’t be too hard on them though. We do the same thing. A pastor friend of mine was telling me about one particular church that he served in. Unfortunately this church had a bad reputation in town because of how they treated people in the community and how they treated several of their former pastors. My friend brought a suggestion to the boardroom table one night shortly after he started his ministry. He asked what his church leaders would think of changing the name of the church. The new name he suggested would not have the denominational title included in it. He made sure to tell them the doctrinal statement would not change, the denominational affiliation would not change, and several other churches in this denomination had made similar changes with good success.
The reaction was pretty much along the lines he expected. No one was in favor of it for various reasons. Horror stories based largely on misinformation and rumors surfaced about other churches that had done something like this and either closed or became a cult. While he expected many of these arguments, the one statement that caught him off guard was given by the most respected person in the church. It was a statement that killed the discussion immediately. My friend later said he was so taken back by this statement that he was speechless to continue. Here was the sincere statement from a man who knew God’s word. “But I get my identity from the ___________ church.”
Character is defined as one of the attributes or features that make up and distinguish an individual. This person’s character was based on a set of doctrines and beliefs held in the confines of denominational affiliation. Such thinking isn’t new of course. The Apostle Paul struggled with it too. He didn’t have to mess with Baptists or Lutherans or Methodists or Presbyterians. He had to contend with followers of Peter or Apollos or, (and I imagine he shuddered at this), those who followed him! Paul says, in the book of 1Corinthians, “What are you thinking? Stop following the teachings and opinions of men. You have all you need in Jesus Christ who came from God himself!”
The enemy doesn’t like that way of thinking, by the way. The lie he uses in the battle for our CHARACTER is the subtle belief that ‘Your doctrine is the most important thing to you’. In our effort to love ourselves this attacks us in at least two ways. First of all, the standards of men are sometimes harder to live up to than the standards God has for us. Man’s standards don’t always offer much grace or mercy as is shown by the reaction of some church bodies to differences in a person’s lifestyle or their beliefs. Man made doctrine is often more about making cookie cutter Christians than it is growing in the freedom of grace and mercy through the Lord Jesus Christ.
In a love relationship it’s always amazing to me how the people involved think so much alike, or at least know what the other is thinking. It’s a process of course. The longer they are together the more they begin to look, think and act alike. Why? Because they have the same set of rules? No. They begin to ‘be each other’ because of relationship.
The second attack that this lie levels on our ability to love ourselves is that when we hold to strongly to man-made principles and doctrine we become legalistic and push people way. The nasty negative spiral comes in again. If I take to harsh a position I push you away. Since I don’t want to push you away I will guard my words. The result is I struggle to decide, ‘Do I hold my allegiance to you and watch you self-destruct, or hold my allegiance to what I know to be right and lose my chance to minister to you and bring you to the freedom I’ve found in Christ.
How does a person whose character is built on Jesus and not man-made rules react to people who are ‘different’ than us? Look at how Jesus responded to people in his day. People who struggled with greed, with lust, with sex, with addictions. How did Jesus respond? With love. “Neither do I condemn thee. Come to me you who are weary.” Paul says, “And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will. (2 Timothy 2:24-26 (NIV))
The person of Christ-like character is the person that gently accepts people who are struggling and leaves the repentance and life change to the one who does it best, Jesus Christ. This is a huge relief for the follower of Christ because it takes the responsibility of life change out of my hands and puts it in the hands of God’s Holy Spirit.
The Truth Statement in the battle for our Character is: “When others watch you make sure they see Jesus and not a church name!”
PRAYER: Thank you Jesus for the freedom you have shown me through your grace, mercy and forgiveness. As I build relationships around me, help me to show them the patience and gentleness you showed those around you. In your name I pray, Amen.
Lord, remember your mercy and love that you have shown since long ago. Psalm 25:6 (NCV)
When things go wrong it’s easy to feel like we are all alone, like no one fully understands our problems or our fears. To some extent that is true. Each of us is unique in how we respond to events in our lives. Feeling like we are alone can be one of the most paralyzing things in our lives.
Loneliness can cause us to withdraw into our own prison cell and hinder our ability to see things realistically. We can try to cover up our loneliness through anger or multiple relationships or drugs and alcohol. The feeling that we are all alone has driven many people to suicide. After all, if you are all alone you don’t matter to anyone so you may as well end it.
Unresolved guilt, broken relationships, poor choices, abuse and a variety of other things can cause us to feel lonely and unloved. Whatever it is that is causing you to feel alone can be like a downward spiral. You feel rejected so you withdraw or do some other action to push others away which makes you feel more rejected so you withdraw further into the dark abyss of loneliness. Soon you feel hopeless in your desire to be accepted for who you are.
Acceptance by even one or two people can destroy the walls of loneliness. Sometimes it can be the simplest of things. A hand on your shoulder, a smile at the checkout line, a kind word when anger is present; mercy when you want justice.
There may be times in your life when loneliness and rejection seem to be the order of the day. During times of loneliness and rejection remember that your Heavenly Father is always there. He is full of mercy when you deserve justice; he is there to extend love when others respond in anger; he accepts you as you are when others demand conformity.
Others may never understand your feelings or your actions. Others may never reject you. God never will. As he has in the past, he will continue to be a father that accepts you, stands with you and forgives you. You can trust him to always be at your side.
PRAYER: Father, I thank you for the way you love me. I praise you for always being there when I feel alone and rejected. Help me to feel your presence as I face today. Enable me to show others the mercy and love you have shown me. In Jesus name, Amen.
Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8 (NLT)
A lion roars to defend his territory. We as believers must always realize that we are in Satan’s territory. Because of this we must always be on our guard against his attacks. If you’ve ever seen a cat on the prowl you know that they are quiet and agile. They waste no energy in pursuing their prey.
Peter reminds us to be alert but it’s hard to stay alert to enemy attack when we have so many things that distract us. It’s the things that distract us that allow the enemy a foothold to attack. He lurks in the shadow ready to prey on the slow, the weak, the distracted.
We get cutoff on the interstate and give the enemy opportunity to make us angry.
We find out a close friend is the root of a vicious rumor and give bitterness an opening.
The woman in the office cubicle next to ours makes a statement that could be taken in a lustful way and gives the idea of an affair a nudge.
The credit card company notifies us of a credit line increase at the same time an email announces a discount on the ‘toy’ we’ve always wanted and desire whispers in our ear.
Friends in school ridicule a fellow student for the same convictions you hold to and you hide in the shadows allowing the name of your savior to be mocked. Apathy taps you on the shoulder.
A co-worker convinces the boss to take one of your accounts away from you and give it to him and revenge squeezes your hand.
One of your children makes an irresponsible choice. You feel the urge to be reactive and sarcastic rather than understanding and forgiving.
Distractions. Those little things that cross our path every day. Distractions give the enemy opportunities for attack. We must choose to let our guard down or to stand firm in the face of the enemy.
The good news is that we have a God who offers us the power to resist distractions through his Holy Spirit. And when the distractions of life catch us unaware and we give in to the enemy we can find mercy and forgiveness through the blood of Jesus Christ.
Heed the warnings Peter offers us. Stay alert in the face of the enemies attack. Stand firm when distractions urge us to give in. It’s difficult at first, but like any discipline, the more we practice standing firm the easier it is to handle the distractions he throws at us.
PRAYER: Father I confess to you that I’m all too often distracted by the attacks of the enemy. Forgive me for the times I’ve stumbled. Empower me with your Spirit to stay focused on your love and forgiveness. Thank you for the grace and mercy you give every day. Amen
The LORD hates every liar, but he is the friend of all who can be trusted. Proverbs 12:22 (CEV)
I was a seminary student and out of work. A friend of mine needed some help for a couple days preparing for a trade show and asked if I’d like to fly with him to the show for a couple days to get things prepared. I jumped at the chance to get away for a couple days ‘vacation’ even if it meant work.
Once inChicagohe decided he needed a paint sprayer and went to a local store to purchase one. We used the sprayer to prepare for the show and then, while he stayed at the show I boarded a plane for home.
When he returned the next week I asked how the show went. He chuckled and told me it went fine. Then he said his brand new paint sprayer was stolen and he thinks it was taken by his contact in Chicago, a guy named Joe.
“Joe swore he didn’t take it, but I’m pretty sure it was him since it was under lock and key. Only he and I had access to that room. Then, to top things off he accused you of taking it!” My friend went on, “I told him I knew you wouldn’t take it. I’d trust you with my life!”
I’ve thought about his words on occasion. True friends trust each other with their lives. I hadn’t really done anything to build that kind of trust, I was just honest.
When you build a lifestyle of honesty in every situation you protect yourself from attack. Your lifestyle speaks much louder in your defense than any words you can utter. Jesus says ‘If you can be trusted with little things, God will allow the greater things into your life.’ (Luke 16:10)
Being honest with yourself builds trust with others when you are attacked. It isn’t about doing the big things. It’s about doing what you say you will do. It’s about being honest about your feelings and when those feelings may hurt others, to be graceful and loving in sharing them.
Take the small steps needed on a daily basis to build trust in others. Allow God’s spirit to guide you in your words, actions and thoughts. Building a lifestyle of honesty will protect you from the false accusations that come your way. That way not only will your friends be able to trust you, God himself will be able to trust you with the big things in life.
PRAYER: Father God, when I was growing up I’d always dream of doing something big. Usually those dreams revolved around my own personal desires. Now that I’m older I still desire to do big things, but to do them for you. Empower me with your Spirit to start small by being honest with myself about who I am so that I can build trust in others. In Jesus name, Amen.
Mike Fisk & Built with Grace 