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Be careful to live properly among your unbelieving neighbors. Then even if they accuse you of doing wrong, they will see your honorable behavior, and they will give honor to God when he judges the world. 1 Peter 2:12
Years ago I had two girls that attended the youth group I led. One of the girls came from a great Christian home and the other came from a home was full of hate and anger. The girl from the stable home, I’ll call her Jill, was best friends with Mary (also not her real name).
Jill’s parents shared with me their concern with this friendship. Mary had a temper and quite often, in a fit of rage would say things hurtful to Jill and, on a couple occasions, actually hit her. Mom & dad wanted this friendship to end for the safety of their daughter and came to me to see if I could help.
I agreed to talk with Jill. What she said to me has stuck with me all these years, Jill said, “Mary doesn’t have a single friend in the whole school. If I’m not her friend she has no body. Jesus was the friend of many who hated him. I need to be a friend to Mary.”
The story has a positive ending thankfully. Through Jill’s patient endurance and the prayer of many, eventually Mary found Jesus. She’s been married for many years in a Christ-filled home thanks to the patient and positive influence of one person who refused to give up on her.
We can’t always choose whose life God calls us to be a positive influence in. We are never called to put ourselves in danger. Yet through wisdom, patience and prayer we can see even the hardest heart softened by the Holy Spirit.
Be careful not to get sucked into the negativity of a toxic relationship. Yet, at the same time, don’t be afraid to trust the Holy Spirit to change lives through you!
The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray. Proverbs 12:26
In his book “When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People”, Gary Thomas talks about the power and danger of toxic relationships. Toxic people can destroy relationships and steal our freedom to be all we could be.
Toxic people can be found in the church and sometimes spread their toxicity ‘in the name of Jesus’ love’. Stories abound of people who stray from God because of toxic people who came into their lives and drew them away to a life totally foreign to what their upbringing taught them.
I have a friend who nearly lost his family because of his drinking. He was on the way to being an alcoholic when his wife walked out with his two daughters.
As we spent time talking about the situation he shared with me that he’d go into a bar with his friends with no intention of drinking, but once there, he was coerced by his friends to have ‘just one’, which unfortunately led to many.
Thankfully, he made the choices he needed to save his family. He chose to avoid the bar crowd and focus on more wholesome friendships. He and his wife are back together and are in the process of healing.
Am I saying we should only have ‘Christian friends’? Of course not! Jesus hung out with the socially outcast more than the ‘spiritually secure’. Yet, through the power of the Holy Spirit we need to be open to sharing our faith in a gentle way and get our strength from relationships that celebrate Jesus.
Influencers can be negative or positive. Choose to follow the positive, Christ centered influencers!
Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory. Romans 5:2
For those of us who grew up in the church we have no doubt memorized or at least heard sermons on the beauty and grace promised in Romans 5:1, ”Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us.“
All of grace is shown in that one verse. There are so many times though, that we tend to focus on one great truth and miss an even greater truth in the context of that verse.
While Romans 5:1 looks back at what Jesus did for us and what we have as a result, a greater nugget of truth may be found in the very next verse.
Because of what Jesus did for us on the cross, we have the privilege of sharing in God’s glory. God’s Glory is a difficult concept to define or comprehend in our human minds. John Piper says, “So, here is an attempt at a definition: the glory of God is the infinite beauty and greatness of God’s manifold perfections.”
This verse is so full of implications. First of all, because of Jesus and God’s Holy Spirit indwelling us, we are able to get a fuller grasp of how truly great our God is. As we grow closer to Him, we stand in awe of Him. We are His Temple, His dwelling place. Like some grand architect, we stand as a testament to His greatness. God communicates his greatness through us because we are His image-bearers.
But wait, there’s more! While we can’t fully grasp that in our human minds, (face it, I don’t do well at reflecting God’s glory most if not all the time) we have the promise that the glory of God is a promise we claim now and cash in in eternity.
Spend some time thinking of the Glory of God. Think about His power, about the intricacies of nature, the beauty of a sunset or sunrise. The wonder of life itself. How can you reflect that glory today through the power of His indwelling Holy Spirit?
No, the Lord’s delight is in those who fear him, those who put their hope in his unfailing love. Psalms 147:11
God loves when we can’t.
A young man came home from school one day full of anger, defeat and rejection. When his dad asked him what was wrong he shared, in tears, that he was about to be cut from his high school basketball team. He would be evaluated the next day and the coaches would decide.
His dad, a former coach himself, took him outside and played basketball with him for a couple hours. They talked. They laughed and in between times the father shared pointers on basketball…and life.
Later, as the son headed off to bed, the father put his arm around him and told him, “Son, tomorrow is a big day for you, but not the biggest challenge you’ll face in life. Know this, I don’t love you because of your basketball skills. I don’t love you because of your grades. I don’t love you because of your popularity. I love you because you are my child and nothing will ever change that.”
The next day, the son returned home in a good mood.
The father looked at him and said, “You must have made the team?”
“No,” the son replied, “But I know now that my value isn’t caught up in who I am, but in whose I am.”
And so it is in life. Don’t allow the expectations and circumstances that surround you to define you. Your worth isn’t in what you do, or your accomplishments or your status. God takes value in you because you are first and foremost of all made in his image. His love never fails.
Fearing the Lord isn’t being afraid of his judgment, fearing the Lord is being in awe of his love and grace.
Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you. Deuteronomy 31:8
One night I got a phone call from my father. He told me that my brother had been killed in a tragic accident. I was 600 miles from home. That call came over 40 years ago and I still remember the feeling today as though it were yesterday. He’d died too soon in my book. While I know I’ll see him again someday in heaven, it still hurts that I never got to say goodbye.
The more I travel this journey called life, the more I’m made aware of its uncertainty. My story is repeated thousands, perhaps millions of times throughout the day. Pain and discouragement can come from a variety of situations. Spouses served divorce papers. Doctors delivering bad news. Dad’s not returning home from work. Life is fragile.
The loss of a loved one through death is painful to be sure, perhaps the most painful thing many of us will go through. But sometimes I think the loss of someone emotionally is even more painful. We all know (and may have experienced) the pain of people we thought loved us suddenly leaving us.
Relationship is replaced by rejection. Support is replaced by criticism. Trust is replaced with finding out you’ve been attacked behind your back and thrown under the next bus.
Some friends of mine were foster parents for years to many children of various ages. Some stayed a day or two. Others stayed for a couple months. They ended up adopting one girl at the age of seven. They loved her as their own. Yet ten years later she robbed them and ran away, never to be heard from again.
For ten years they gave her their heart. The stealing of personal possessions hurt to be sure, but the pain of stealing their heart was far more painful.
Deuteronomy 31:8 gives us an amazing and comforting promise. “Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.”
Here is reality. People will leave you one way or the other. Relationships will be broken. Deception will happen. Abandonment will attack your soul.
We have a Heavenly Father who promises to always love us. We have a Savior who calls us ‘friend’. We have access to the Spirit of God who promises to lead, guide and comfort us. Don’t allow the temporary attacks of fickle relationships detract from the everlasting love God has for you!
Mike Fisk & Built with Grace 