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If someone were to ask you ‘What would it take to quit loving someone you currently love dearly?’ what would your answer be?
For example, what would it take to stop loving your spouse/significant other? Some may say, ‘if my spouse/significant other cheated on me, that would be the end. I couldn’t stand trying to live with the betrayal. After all, if he/she did it once, chances of it happening again are likely. Nope. Cheating on me would be the end of that relationship.
If you were to ask Jesus, He’d say, I’ve been betrayed before. In fact, the ones I love have betrayed me over and over again. But I still love them. I’ve forgiven them. I’ll welcome them back as many times as they ask. Betrayal won’t kill my love for them. Each new day is a fresh beginning with Jesus.
Others may say, ‘If my spouse/significant other’ abused me that would be the end. No one should have to suffer the pain of abuse from another person. Jesus understood the pain of rejection and abuse. Those that should have accepted him the most readily were constantly ridiculing him, discredit him and trying to kill him. For a time Jesus avoided them. The spoke of their abuse and called them hypocrites, but even while keeping his distance from them he prayed for them. At one point he even wept for them. Eventually they did kill him, but even then some of his dying words were ‘Father forgive them.’
Jesus knows abuse and rejection. Even though he removed himself from abusive situations, he still prayed for his enemies. Jesus knew the difference between loving the person and not the actions they take.
Would it be a child’s rebellion that ended your love for him? Jesus often called the ones who mistreated and rejected him his children and called them to his open arms. Jesus knows rebellion and while he hates to see us rebel, he refuses to stop loving us.
Paul’s prayerful desire is for us is that we know a love that is beyond our knowledge. That love is the love Jesus showed while on earth and continues to show every day for us. I don’t understand it. I can’t fathom how someone can love the abusive parent, the abusive or cheating spouse, the terrorist, or the person who cuts me off on the interstate.
I don’t understand how he can love someone who he knows will betray him or wants him dead or speaks evil of him, or fails him time and time again. I don’t understand how he can overlook someone’s past and present sin and love them anyway. I don’t understand Jesus’ love, but I’m eternally grateful for his love for me. For you see it’s the love of Jesus that keeps me going when others mistreat me, discredit me or betray me. It’s the love and forgiveness of Jesus that keeps me sane when, once again, I’ve done something, or said something that displeases him because I know that even when I hurt him deeply by my thoughts, actions and words his love is deeper still.
PRAYER: Dear Jesus. I’m in awe as I consider the great love you have for us mere mortals. We fight and bicker. We betray and abuse. We neglect or destroy the most important relationships we have. Still, you love me. This is too wonderful, too awesome to comprehend. Help me this day to consider, with each step I take, the great, unending love you have for me. In your holy, loving name I pray, Amen.
A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit. Proverbs 15:13
Christian author and speaker Charles Swindoll states, “I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.” Each of us chooses how we will react to life and all that comes with it.
When people encounter trials in life they may try to blame someone, an ex-spouse who cheated on them and left them for some other, younger prize, a boss that refused to trust them, abusive or non-existent parents, a tough childhood.
Other people blame God. “If God is a God of love and justice why did this happen? If He is so powerful why can’t He change this situation I’m in? He must not love me or He’s angry at me, or He’s too weak or too uninterested to act.”
Still other people blame themselves. “I’m no good. I’m a loser, I will never amount to anything.”
The problem with these kinds of attitudes is that they don’t only affect the person harboring these destructive thoughts, they affect everyone around them. Everyday people wake up and make a decision (consciously or unconsciously) about the day they will have. Chances are, the decision they make will come true. If today is going to be sunny and warm with flowers all around and birds chirping, then that is probably the way the day will go.
If they decide the day will be cold and stormy with frequent flashes of lightning and hail, then you’d best hope you aren’t in the path of the storm.
Just as a negative attitude is contagious, so is a positive one. But positive attitudes that will bring change to your world have to have a solid base. ‘Happy all the time’ emotions are shallow and flaky. People will see through them right away. But a heart that is at peace in all circumstances brings calm to a situation and can even bring joy.
Positive attitudes are a choice each of us must make. Real happiness is a choice we make based on our faith belief that God is bigger than any problem that comes our way. Positive attitudes based solely on human emotion are sure to fail because they are based on human strength which will never stand during the storms of life.
As you go about your day today, chances are you will run into crabby people along the way. Hopefully you aren’t one of them! Choose from the moment you get out of bed that today will be a good day. Show it to the crabby lady behind the convenience store counter with a kind word and a smile (no matter how bad her service is).
Show kindness to the sarcastic and demeaning policeman as he pulls you over for speeding, causing you to be late for work.
Show humility to your boss when you try to explain why you are late…again.
Show patience by not kicking the dog when you get home because it’s been one of those days!
The happiness you show others will brighten their day as well as yours, plus it brings glory to God. Don’t let your reactions to others be based on the fickle, shifting sands of human emotion. How you react to them will either make their day better or worse and it’s all under your control.
PRAYER: Father I ask that you would help me to be a source of happiness and joy to each person who crosses my path today. May my life shine in such a way that Your name is glorified and the pain of others is lessened just because they crossed my path. I pray these things in the name of your son, Jesus Christ, amen.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
I signed the piece of paper and he left. I watched him winch the truck up onto the trailer with a couple other cars and drive away. There went my dream truck. I bought it during a very tumultuous time in my life. It was the truck I always wanted. I spend way more than I could afford for it and within a few months lost my job as well. I had no choice but to have it repossessed.
I still think about that truck and that whole situation. Not just because I’m a guy and we guys like our trucks. There’s a much deeper reason. I remember the day I picked it up from the dealer. I don’t know what the expression on Jonah’s face was as he boarded the ship, but I’m pretty sure mine was comparable. I knew I shouldn’t buy that truck. I asked a few people’s opinion and got mixed reviews.
As I drove away from the dealer there was no excitement, only worry about if I did the right thing. I pulled into a parking lot and bowed my head. I thanked God for my new truck and ‘dedicated its use to Him.’ Yep. I did. Sounds pretty stupid now. The first time I officially ‘involved’ God in the decision was long after it was done.
That’s my experience (or at least the one I’m sharing), what’s yours? Each of us has those times we can look back on in our lives and regret. Times when we made decisions that affect our lives and the lives of others. We do them knowing that they won’t please God, or thinking they won’t matter.
Of all the lessons I learned from that experience, the one that stands out is that even in those times when we endure the consequences of our bad choices God is there. God forgives us for the bad choices we make but allows consequences to take their course to help us grow stronger.
There are many times when I get angry or disappointed when God doesn’t do what I think He should. It angers me when people refuse to forgive each other; when churches fight among themselves about who has the better theology or worship style; about the inequities and injustices handed down by our judicial system and government; about parents who use and abuse their children for their own morbid reasons. I wonder why He doesn’t act.
I don’t get angry about my truck. I’m learning, the hard way, that when we don’t consult our Father about issues in our lives He loves us enough to let us fail, but never enough to leave us there.
When we seek His wisdom and His understanding in life we will still encounter bumps in the road, but we’ll feel the peace that comes from knowing we are secure in His will. Surround yourself with wise people, but always listen to the direction God gives.
PRAYER: Holy God. I praise you for the fact that you love me so much. There are so many things in my life right now that I confess are consequences of my behavior and not acts of revenge on your part. Forgive me for my stubborn habit of thinking I need to have things my way. Empower me with your Spirit to hear your voice when I need to make decisions in life. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
‘and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us’. Matthew 6:12 (NLT)
“I forgive you”. Three of the toughest words we will ever say and perhaps the toughest to live out. There are sometimes when forgiveness is easy. Those times when someone does some small infraction that really had no effect on us. They feel far worse than we do. We forgive them, they feel better and that’s the end of it.
It’s those other times when forgiveness is tough. Those times when we’ve been let down by close friends or family. Once is hard, but then it happens over and over again and we begin to doubt their sincerity. They say they are sorry. They say they will try harder or they will ‘never do that again’ but the more they fail the less we believe their words.
There are times forgiveness seems to be completely impossible. You’ve been hurt. The hurt may be physical. The bruises will heal, but the trust has been broken. While physical hurt is painful, the real pain is in the emotions. Emotional scars heal much slower than physical. Sometimes emotional scars never heal. People you meet on the street everyday wear masks and smiles that hide unbearable pain. They are in the coffee shops and restraints. They are in the doctor’s office and the post office. They are in the schools and the churches. They bear the weight of emotional scars and the baggage of not being able to forgive and move on.
Forgiveness is toughest when it isn’t asked for. You’ve been hurt-badly. Once the physical pain is gone the emotional goes on. The perpetrator knows. He/she just doesn’t care. You are left in a pool of pain, sorrow, embarrassment and hurt. Forgiveness certainly isn’t warranted or deserved. It’s not even asked for! But if you don’t forgive, the pain grows like a painful, cancerous growth producing anger, bitterness and hate.
We don’t forgive others because they ask for it or even deserve it. We forgive to free ourselves from the pain. Forgiveness isn’t about them. It’s about you. To forgive the undeserving isn’t about reconciliation, it’s about freedom.
Jesus says we should pray: ‘and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us’ Matthew 6:12 (NLT). To forgive as we’ve been forgiven! Some forgive conditionally: “If you do this again…”; Others forgive under obligation: “God said I have to forgive you, so I guess I do…”; Others forgive but reserve the right to remind you of this fault at a later, more convenient date.
Jesus says we are to forgive as He does. His forgiveness is complete. All we have to do is come to him, confess our faults and ask forgiveness. Then we move on, trusting His Holy Spirit to empower us to try harder. Sometimes we succeed. Sometimes we struggle and fail. Always we are forgiven by Him.
There are some people who have hurt you deeply. Forgiveness won’t come through your power. It won’t come overnight. It will some as you rely on God to empower you with the ability to let go of the pain caused by others and be free to let go. Forgiving doesn’t make you less of a person, it makes you more like Jesus.
PRAYER: Father God. You know my heart. There are people in my life that have hurt me deeply and continue to do so. I’m angry, I’m frustrated and bitter. I know I should forgive but have no power to do so. I want to be free of this pain. I want to let go and live more like Jesus. I confess my inability to you and ask you to forgive me. Empower me with your Spirit to forgive and live free of this burden. I Jesus name, Amen.
Mike Fisk & Built with Grace 