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Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24
What do you see when you look in the mirror? Not a physical piece of shiny glass, what about the spiritual and emotional mirror? Who do you see when no one else is watching? What’s hidden beneath the surface that no one else can see and no one else can understand?
Most of us don’t like to look at ourselves in a mirror (or at least we don’t admit it!). We have a vision of what we want to be like, what we want to look like and all too often a mirror doesn’t ‘reflect’ the vision we’d hoped for.
How we see ourselves in our ‘emotional/spiritual’ mirror will affect how we see ourselves in a physical mirror as well as how we react to others, to adversity and even success. Our vision of self drives our emotions, our spiritual lives and our relationships.
King David knew how fickle each of us can be. Our vision is so affected by how we see ourselves that it can change by the day or by the minute. One adverse event can ruin our whole day or even our lives. That’s why David went to the source of all knowledge for an opinion about himself.
‘Search me’, he says and with that request he gives God ‘permission’ so to speak, to shine a light on every corner of his being. That’s scary stuff! None of us would dare ask that of even our closest friends because we’d be afraid of what they’d find. There are feelings, thoughts, attitudes and painful experiences buried deep within each of us. Some we have tried to cover up with toys, with drugs and addictions and with multiple relationships. Some of the pain we suffer from has become so much a part of us that we no longer even remember why we are hurting. The pain has become ‘normal’.
David went to God for the searching because he knew that God would look upon him with eyes of love and compassion. He will do the same for you. When we let God reveal our deepest, darkest secrets, those hidden pains and fears, we take the first step to true freedom. God doesn’t reveal our hidden places to condemn us. He reveals our hidden places to free us.
John tells us, “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” (John 3:17) As followers of the Lord Jesus Christ we can be at peace with who we are with all our blemishes, all our bruises and all the ugly scars that we try to hide with emotional make-up. God made you as you are. You are His child. Ask Him to reveal all that you are. Trust Him to do so with compassion, gentleness and love.
PRAYER: Father God. I come to you today with fear. I’m afraid of what you will find in my life if I invite you to search every corner of my being. There are times when I don’t like myself, my past and my present. But I believe you when you say you love me and won’t condemn me. Give me the courage to open every area of my life to you. Remove my feelings of fear, guilt and inadequacy. Forgive me for the harm I’ve caused to myself and others. Free me to live for you through your Spirit. Amen.
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord. Ephesians 6:4 (NLT)
Sometimes it’s important to remember that the chapter numbers and verse numbers in the Bible are fairly recent additions. Before that there were no divisions to the books and letters of the Bible. The reader would understand the change in thought processes of the author by wording and grammatical changes much as we do in a novel or other piece of journalism.
When the Apostle Paul was writing to the church in Ephesus he was writing about practical living as Christ followers. The particular section our verse comes from today is a whole section on family living that begins with “And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (5:21). Then Paul goes on to give examples to wives, husbands, parents, children and bosses and employees on how to be submissive to each other because of Jesus Christ and our desire to follow Him.
When Paul addresses fathers in Ephesians 6:4 he’s not really telling the rest of us to stop listening. The lesson he is teaching fathers is one each of us should learn to follow. The lesson is basically this. Our actions towards others should never intentionally cause them to be angry.
Discipline has gotten a bad rap in our society because it is often linked with or confused with punishment. The root word of ‘discipline’ is disciple, a word that implies a follower or a set of rules or a person. It is not a ‘forced event’ but a voluntary one. Punishment on the other hand is something that is forced upon a person.
- Punishment can be done in anger and cause permanent damage.
- Discipline is never done in anger and while it can be painful, the pain is temporary.
- Punishment can cause hatred or frustration on the part of the receiver.
- Discipline may cause temporary misunderstanding but eventually the receiver see the value of the ‘rules’.
- Punishment can often be an act of aggression and frustration on the part of the deliverer of the punishment.
- Discipline is done in patience and love.
- Punishment can be administered to protect the person who does the punishment to ‘protect himself’.
- Discipline is always done for the benefit of the receiver, perhaps even at some cost to the person doing the discipling.
- Punishment degrades both parties in the ‘situation’.
- Discipline elevates both parties in the ‘situation’.
- Punishment forces the individual being punished into a mold that may not be in his/her best interest.
- Discipline shapes a person’s character in a way that best fulfills his/her gifts and abilities.
- Punishment changes behavior.
- Discipline grows character.
- Punishment is quick and effective.
- Discipline is time consuming and eternal.
Each of us, no matter what role we play in life will, at some time, be in a position where we are training others for life’s journey. The best way we can do that is to disciple those around us by:
- allowing them to grow at their own pace.
- showing them the way of true life through Jesus Christ.
- Praying that Jesus will change their minds towards Him.
- Patiently determining to love them regardless of the choices they make.
PRAYER: Holy Father. I am a victim of punishment done with good intent but with painful results. As I’ve grown older I’ve tended to follow the same patterns I learned as I grew up. Empower me through your Holy Spirit to love as Jesus loved, disciple as He disciple and help those around me to grow in character as a result of what they see in me. Forgive me for the pain I’ve caused. Heal the scars of my past. Amen.
Mike Fisk & Built with Grace 