You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘suicide’ tag.
My guilt has overwhelmed me like a burden too heavy to bear. Psalm 38:4
Next to anger, guilt is perhaps the greatest crippler of all time. When you consider the fact that fear can often be caused by guilt that only adds to the drama! Guilt comes into our lives when we feel ashamed for an action that we’ve done. Sometimes that guilt is ‘warranted’ because we all make mistakes. Sometimes that guilt comes from the accusations of others. Even if we are innocent of the accusation we can feel guilty about it.
People try to deal with guilt in a variety of ways in order to ease the pain. Some try to ignore the guilt and pretend that whatever it is that makes us feel guilty never really happened. That’s called denial. If I ignore my guilt long enough it will be less painful. That’s not really true, but we believe the lie. Suppressing guilt only keeps it at bay for a time. Eventually it comes back with vengeance.
Others try to deal with guilt by soothing it with a variety of things like new relationships, new toys, new jobs or surroundings. We focus on external things in order to try to ignore the internal pain we feel. When we tire of the old things we simply replace them with new in hopes that we will be satisfied. Using denial and external things to try to cover up guilt never work.
Sometimes people use the ‘blame game’ to deal with their guilt. “Yes, I did that but if he/she hadn’t done this, or if she/he HAD done that, I wouldn’t have done what I did.” Placing blame on others takes the attention off of me and puts it on others. It’s like creating a diversion. The problem with this is that people eventually see though our antics and we end up being the only one that believes our story. People who use the blame game seldom realize that they are the main problem in the healing process.
Following ‘social trends’ rather than God’s Word can also be used to cover guilt. “Everyone else is doing it so it must be okay.” We surround ourselves with people who, like us, haven’t dealt with their guilt. Since they appear to be comfortable in what they do we feel comfortable as well. There is sort of a comfort in mutual misery.
Even religion can be used to cover guilt. We do something wrong and go to God for forgiveness. He willingly forgives us of all our sins. However, we feel so bad about what we have done that we try to do ‘things’ to cover the pain. These can be very good things like church attendance, Bible Studies, volunteering, even being in ministry to try to cover the shame and guilt of our sin. When we struggle with a recurring sin we tend to increase our ‘religious activity’ to deal with the pain. Nothing relieves that pain though and so we revert to the blame game. “It’s not working. It must be Gods fault, or the churches fault, or the fault of those so-called Christians.”
There is nothing you can do to free yourself of the weight of guilt you carry. The longer you carry it the heavier it grows. The more things you try to remove the guilt from your life the heavier your burden grows. The more you regret the more you fret. Sometimes people are so weighed down by the burden of trying to remove the guilt from their lives that they become physically, emotionally or mentally ill. Some even commit suicide to try to remove the pain.
Jesus has the answer to your guilt and the burden you carry. It’s not found in religion. It’s not found in church. It’s not found in relationships, toys or activity. Freedom from guilt comes through Jesus alone and the grace He offers. Hebrews 10:22 says “let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.”
Jesus not only cleanses the sin, he wants to cleanse the feelings of guilt you carry. Satan and others will want to try to continually remind you of your past mistakes. Tell them that Jesus took care of that on the cross. When guilt attacks take it directly to Jesus. Let Him remind you that YOU ARE FORGIVEN. No questions. No second thoughts. NO MORE BLAME. Say to yourself, ‘Because of Jesus I am not only forgiven of my sin, I am cleansed of my guilt. I will no longer allow guilt to control me and weigh me down. I AM FREE.’
PRAYER: Dear Jesus. I thank you that you look on my heart and not on my actions. I am so sorry for the pain I’ve caused myself, others and you. I’ve made decisions that continue to be hurtful. I continue to struggle with sin. My guilt is ever before me. I ask that once and for all you search my heart and reveal any unconfessed sin. Then I pray that you not only forgive me of my sin, but that you cleanse my guilty conscience. Empower me to live free of guilt regardless of the number of times other people try to remind me of my past. From this day forward I resolve to rely on you to free me from guilt. Amen.
The worst of my fears has come true, what I’ve dreaded most has happened. Job 3:25 (The Msg)
Ever gone through day or a period in your life when absolutely EVERYTHING seems to go wrong? I don’t just mean little things like burning your toast in the morning, being late to work because you were stuck in traffic or having a flat tire on the interstate in a driving rain.
These are difficult things to go through but nothing compared to Job. He’d lost his children, his wealth, the position of respect in his community and his health. Even his wife had withdrawn from him at his deepest time of need. He was all alone and in physical, emotional and spiritual agony. To top things off he had three visitors who claimed to be friends. They took on the self-appointed position of judge, pointing out all the things that they knew about how ‘wrong Job was’!
While few of us have ever gone through the devastation Job endured there are times in our lives when things are so bad that we are unsure that we will be able to go on. The death of a dearly loved family member or friend; the end of a relationship in which you thought ‘everything was fine’; financial collapse; watching a loved one die of some disease, or finding out you are dying from some disease. All of these and more can cause us to lose all hope in ourselves, God or others.
While there aren’t any easy, quick fixes to the pain and despair that life deals us, there are a few things that may help ease the pain for a time.
- Don’t instantly blame yourself. Job lived a nearly perfect life in God’s eyes yet endured unheard of pain. Take stock of the situation. Sometimes we have to admit that the things we are going through are consequences to our own choices. Ask Jesus to forgive you for your part and to give you strength to make it through the time of ‘discipline’ we call consequences.
- Realize that sometimes the pain we go through has nothing to do with us. It could be God’s way of strengthening us for the challenges we face tomorrow. It could be God’s way of empowering us to help those who have gone through similar devastation.
- Listen carefully to friend’s advice and measure it up against what you know. Sometimes even the most well-meaning friends are just plain wrong! Even pastors and spiritual leaders can be wrong sometimes. True, Christ-following friends won’t be critical or harsh. They will love you and support you and gently walk with you through the darkness.
- Don’t just go looking for people to agree with you. But remember that it is God who judges and He alone knows the reason for your pain. Continue to grow in your relationship with Him. Don’t abandon Him. In the darkest night He is the only true light.
- Most importantly, in spite of your pain and anger and despair, don’t turn your back on God. Even though things seem impossibly painful God DOES love you and has the power to see you through anything, ANYTHING life throws at you. Talk to Him. Read His love letter to us (the Bible). Ask Him for wisdom and strength to make it through life’s challenges.
PRAYER: Dear Jesus. I’m about at the end of my strength. I’ve even thought of just ending it all because I’m not sure I can go on. You say you are there and I want to believe it but sometimes the darkness is too overwhelming. Please help me to see you in all this. Empower me through your Holy Spirit to sense the peace and love that passes all understanding. Right now I need to feel your love. Amen.
Mike Fisk & Built with Grace 