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God blesses those people who make peace. They will be called his children! Matthew 5:9 (CEV)
It was a stupid thing to say and just plain wrong. It was one of those situations where you wish you could just grab the word bubble and pull it back into your mouth and pretend it never happened. Of course, it didn’t work that way. In my stupid attempt to be funny I offended a dear friend. She stormed away, hurt, humiliated and angry…for good reason, I might add.
A mutual friend came to me a few days later and told me she’d talked to him about the things I’d said to Mindy (not her real name). It was slightly embellished, but for the most part accurate. I was embarrassed and ashamed. The situation wasn’t made any easier by the fact that we were mutual friends and were together often in social situations. Mindy would see me and move to an opposite side of the room. I tried on a few occasions to apologize, but she had nothing to do with it.
There’s an old saying, “Two wrongs don’t make a right”. Mindy and my situation was living proof of that adage. I was wrong for what I said. Her refusal to listen to my apology or forgive me wasn’t appropriate either. It was just as stupid and immature as the words I spoke to start the whole situation.
After several weeks, our mutual friend approached me. He’d been watching from the sidelines and had frankly seen enough. “Something has to be done to resolve this”, he told me one day as we met for coffee. I agreed and shared how I’d tried on several occasions to reconcile, but to no avail.
Dan, our mutual friend, decided that if reconciliation was going to happen it would have to be done with a mediator. He approached Mindy and she seemed more than willing for the three of us to meet together. We met at our church in a conference room. Dan read from Matthew on the importance of forgiving a brother when he sins. Then it was my turn. I told Mindy (again) how sorry I was for my words, that they were stupid and just plain un-Christian. I asked her (again) to forgive me. To my surprise she did! We talked. We hugged. Our friendship became much closer than it ever had before.
There could be all sorts of things that could be said about my flippancy or Mindy’s immaturity. The reality is, Jesus calls us to relationship with one another and he calls us to be peacemakers. Dan exemplified what Jesus meant in Matthew 5:9. He didn’t make judgments about who was right or wrong. He didn’t take sides or wait ‘for time to heal us’.
What he did was to put himself in the vulnerable position of peacemaker. Each of us is called to do the same. When a brother or sister in Christ is in conflict we are called to do what we can to reconcile ‘warring factions’. God’s word, patience, wisdom, prayer and love are the tools in our arsenal.
PRAYER: Lord Jesus, help us as your children to be actively involved in the lives of others so that we can act as peacemakers when conflict arises. Give us courage to act, wisdom to know how, grace to accept those times when reconciliation attempts fail. Amen.
5/15/2013
When a brother or sister in Christ is in conflict we are called to do what we can to reconcile ‘warring factions’. Matthew 5:9
God blesses those people who make peace. They will be called his children! Matthew 5:9 (CEV)
It was a stupid thing to say and just plain wrong. It was one of those situations where you wish you could just grab the word bubble and pull it back into your mouth and pretend it never happened. Of course, it didn’t work that way. In my stupid attempt to be funny I offended a dear friend. She stormed away, hurt, humiliated and angry…for good reason, I might add.
A mutual friend came to me a few days later and told me she’d talked to him about the things I’d said to Mindy (not her real name). It was slightly embellished, but for the most part accurate. I was embarrassed and ashamed. The situation wasn’t made any easier by the fact that we were mutual friends and were together often in social situations. Mindy would see me and move to an opposite side of the room. I tried on a few occasions to apologize, but she had nothing to do with it.
There’s an old saying, “Two wrongs don’t make a right”. Mindy and my situation was living proof of that adage. I was wrong for what I said. Her refusal to listen to my apology or forgive me wasn’t appropriate either. It was just as stupid and immature as the words I spoke to start the whole situation.
After several weeks, our mutual friend approached me. He’d been watching from the sidelines and had frankly seen enough. “Something has to be done to resolve this”, he told me one day as we met for coffee. I agreed and shared how I’d tried on several occasions to reconcile, but to no avail.
Dan, our mutual friend, decided that if reconciliation was going to happen it would have to be done with a mediator. He approached Mindy and she seemed more than willing for the three of us to meet together. We met at our church in a conference room. Dan read from Matthew on the importance of forgiving a brother when he sins. Then it was my turn. I told Mindy (again) how sorry I was for my words, that they were stupid and just plain un-Christian. I asked her (again) to forgive me. To my surprise she did! We talked. We hugged. Our friendship became much closer than it ever had before.
There could be all sorts of things that could be said about my flippancy or Mindy’s immaturity. The reality is, Jesus calls us to relationship with one another and he calls us to be peacemakers. Dan exemplified what Jesus meant in Matthew 5:9. He didn’t make judgments about who was right or wrong. He didn’t take sides or wait ‘for time to heal us’.
What he did was to put himself in the vulnerable position of peacemaker. Each of us is called to do the same. When a brother or sister in Christ is in conflict we are called to do what we can to reconcile ‘warring factions’. God’s word, patience, wisdom, prayer and love are the tools in our arsenal.
PRAYER: Lord Jesus, help us as your children to be actively involved in the lives of others so that we can act as peacemakers when conflict arises. Give us courage to act, wisdom to know how, grace to accept those times when reconciliation attempts fail. Amen.
Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord. Romans 12:19 (NLT)
How do you respond to someone who attacks you? Or maybe the question should be “Do you respond or react?”
Reaction is immediate, swift and impulsive. Response involves thought and time and deciding if the best action is non-action. Sometimes, of course, the situation itself dictates the answer to that question. For example, when physical harm is imminent there is no time to waste. Action must be swift.
There are other times when our best action may not be reaction but taking time to step back and consider our response. The human reaction when we are attacked is either fight or flight. The decision is often determined by our ability, or perceived ability to win. That’s what it’s really all about isn’t it? Isn’t that why the guy cut you off yesterday? You were in HIS lane? Isn’t that why you felt so good (for awhile anyway) when you didn’t give a tip to that incompetent, rude server at the restaurant during lunch? Isn’t that why you got into the face of your teenager when they were disrespectful to you ‘for the last time’? It was all about control, all about who will come out on top.
From the very beginning of time, every conflict has been about who will control what or whom. That was the motivation behind Satan as he entered the garden, it’s the basis of every national and family conflict ever since. We want to win and sometimes we want to win at all costs.
Psalm 37:11 teaches us, “But the meek will inherit the land and enjoy peace and prosperity.”
That’s just the opposite of how we normally think. It’s not the meek that get anything except to be treated as doormats. But meekness isn’t weakness; meekness is having power that is under control. As believers in Jesus Christ we are not called to be doormats, we are children of the king. We are, however called to be meek. We have all the power of the Triune God on our side, but we are to consider how we can be meek when it comes to our own way.
Meekness is hard because meekness means that even though we have all power and even though we may be right, we release the situation in which we feel attacked or mistreated to God so that he can handle it.
Meekness means we wait for God’s timing, not our own. God has promised to protect us. He’s promised to be with us, to walk with us during the dark valleys of life. Sometimes his promises seem slow, but they are not slow. He’s just much more patient than we are.
Meekness means we trust God’s methods. When we are mistreated or attacked we have a pretty good idea of how it should be handled. Usually, if we are honest, it will be handled in a way that gives us glory. However, God’s intention is never to give us glory; God’s intention is to bring glory to Himself; it’s never about revenge but always about restoration.
Meekness goes against every human part of us. It can only come as we learn to give control of our lives to Jesus through the power of His Holy Spirit.
PRAYER: Lord Jesus. I confess that many of the conflicts I’m involved in are a result of my demands for my own way and not for your glory or the restoration of others. Empower me with your Spirit to give you the control in the conflicts in my relationships. Amen.
Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up. Hebrews 12:3 (NLT)
While doing my student teaching I was also a volunteer for the schools football team. The team had a rich history of dominance in the region and won the state championship the year I helped. One of the drills that I remember the team running through was a drill in which a single blocker was matched up against two or three other teammates. Their assignment was to protect a football on the ground three feet behind him. One man against three. Not good odds.
The amazing thing to me is the number of times ‘David beat Goliath’. There were no trophies involved. No newspaper interviews. No accolades. Why did they work so hard? Pride. Pride in saying I accomplished my task. I reached my goal. I protected the ball.
In a speech to his alma mater Winston Churchill stated, “Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, give up. Never give up. Never give up. Never give up.”
You may be up against some seemingly insurmountable obstacle today. Perhaps you are in conflict with someone you love, or you are in financial crisis. Maybe you or a loved one are facing an illness that has little chance of successful treatment. It could be that you have a strong desire to change the world for Jesus, yet you feel all your efforts are futile. You want to do so much for Jesus but all our efforts seem to fall short.
The enemy of our souls wants to keep us in bondage to the feelings of insecurity and failure. He delights in seeing us question our abilities and our chances at success. He whispers words of discouragement and doubt every step of the way.
When the enemy encourages you to give up remember the goal you are striving for. Remember that our hero in the faith; our teacher; our source of power also endured ridicule and resentment. He battled the whispers of doubt, the rejection of family and friends; the misunderstanding of those who claimed allegiance. Yet in all this, he didn’t give up. Why? He remember the goal. He remembered the prize. He remembered who he was doing all this for…and that person was you.
Again, from Churchill, “The pessimist sees the problems in every opportunity. Whereas the optimist sees the opportunity in every problem”
As believers in Jesus Christ we have access to the mightiest power in the universe. As you go forth to face the challenges of the day remember that you have one walking beside you that knows the bitter taste of adversity, but also has experienced ultimate victory – Jesus Christ, our Lord.
PRAYER: Lord Jesus, as I face the temptations, the doubts and all the other obstacles of my day, may I remember that you were not only victorious over your battles, you fight beside me in mine. Amen.
Our God has said: “Encourage my people! Give them comfort. Isaiah 40:1 (CEV)
Where do you get comfort from? For the Christ-follower, the ‘Sunday School Answer’ is Jesus. Okay, we have that one out of the way. Easy enough, right? Not if you are stuck in a marriage that never seems to find the fulfillment you hoped for when you said your vows; not when you struggle with an addiction and find yourself once again suffering from its consequences; not when you are a mother sitting by the bedside of your child or spouse as they breath their last breath; not if you are loading the last boxes onto the moving truck because the bank has foreclosed on your dream home because you lost your job.
It’s at those times that all the ‘Sunday School Answers’ of your past may seem to pale in relation to the pain in your soul. Is God real? Yes, you believe it with all your heart. Does he love you? Certainly. Never a doubt in your mind. Does it take away the knot in your stomach? The knot that seems to be growing so large that it is making it hard to breathe? Not always.
During the darkest times of our lives we don’t need another sermon on God’s provision, we need comfort. We seek comfort in many ways. Some seek it with a new relationship, but new isn’t always better, in fact, second marriages are more likely to end in divorce than first marriages and the chances of success at marriage decrease with every attempt.
Other comfort foods for the soul can be food (leading to guilt and health issues), drugs, anger, withdrawal, depression, religion and a whole list of other attempts at quenching the pain in life.
When you’ve tried all the above remedies for the pain within you it turns out the ‘Sunday School Answer’ really is the best. Sometimes, when we are honest with ourselves, we realize the pain we are experiencing is the result of our own sin. Other times we’ve done ‘everything right’ but our spouse still leaves, our health fails and our bank account disappears.
After years of slavery and exile, Jehovah God tells Isaiah to comfort his people with these words. The trial is over. The penalty has been paid. His words point forward to the restoration of Jerusalem (physical restoration) and the sacrifice of Jesus (restoration of the soul).
If you are struggling with the pain of life let me point you to Jesus. Not the religion of Christianity, but the relationship with a loving Savior who understands your need and longs to comfort the pain in your soul.
If you have ridden out the battle and find yourself on top, remember that those who are struggling with life don’t need another sermon. They don’t need a reminder of their faults. They need the comfort and encouragement that only the grace of Jesus can give them. Please be an instrument of that encouragement. Their pain is great enough.
PRAYER: Lord Jesus, I thank you for the blessings you’ve given me. I ask that you empower me with your Holy Spirit to be an encouragment to those who need you so that they may experience the comfort only you can give. Amen.
I tell you for certain that you will cry and be sad, but the world will be happy. You will be sad, but later you will be happy. John 16:20 (CEV)
I’ve never had the opportunity to travel to a foreign country. The only ‘culture’ I’ve had to learn to adjust to is limited to regional differences on how we talk or ‘traditions’. I know several people who have been able to live for a short time in a different country however.
One of my friends spent a year overseas. She knew the language of this country from four years of high school, but never had the opportunity to learn to speak this language conversationally. Those of you who have been in this situation know what she told me. She was met with two challenges upon her arrival. One was that classroom language learning and conversational languages can be similar but also completely different.
Her second challenge was two-fold. Most people she approached her first few weeks could fit in one of two categories. Either they took the stance of ‘Learn my language’ and mocked her, or they saw an opportunity to learn her language and so spoke only in English. Neither position was very helpful to my friend. Her first few weeks in this foreign country were confusing, frustrating and humiliating.
When Jesus is preparing his disciples for his own departure from the world he warns them of the attitudes that they would find in their future. During those times of grief and mourning, the world would rejoice. During times of sadness, those around them would be happy.
Jesus words held an immediate meaning for the disciples and a future meaning for us. If we are followers of Jesus Christ and fully committed to the Word of God and his standards, then what we see in our world should have a profound effect on our attitudes. We don’t need to go far or listen long to hear people praise sinful lifestyles and actions. Many are rejoicing because their cause is finally being heard and fairness is on the way.
The problem is, they are rejoicing over the very things that make God sad; finding joy in the very things that anger God. We as disciples of Jesus Christ must find a middle ground in which we are deeply saddened to the point of mourning for the sin that surrounds us. We must begin with our own lives and allow God’s Spirit to work within us to cleanse us. Then we must learn to love those who we disagree with while taking a stand against what grieves God.
When my friend returned to her homeland she was glad to be home where everything was familiar, but she never regretted the time oversees in spite of the mourning and frustration. Jesus promises us that our mourning will turn to dancing. It may not be until heaven, but we will dance with joy for eternity then!
PRAYER: Father God. I look around me and see the travesty we have made of your word. We’ve sinned against you Lord. We’ve sinned by following ways we know are wrong. We’ve sinned by becoming stagnant. We look forward to the joy before us and ask for wisdom while we travel this foreign land. Amen.
Mike Fisk & Built with Grace 