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You, Lord, know every one of my deepest desires, and my noisy groans are no secret to you.Psalm 38:9(CEV)
The low fuel light comes on as he’s driving to work and his heart sinks. No money for gas, no options available. He has to get to work but doesn’t know how he’ll get home. Borrowing gas money again didn’t seem like an option he wanted to visit. God, why…
She turns out the light and lays her head on the pillow. She did it again. She promised herself she’d stay faithful, stay pure. More importantly, she promised God. What if she gets pregnant? What if he finds out? What if? O God, please…
The pop-up on the internet entices him. Three hours later he realizes he’s wasted an entire afternoon. How can he do this to his wife? How can he do this to his God? Who can he tell? Everyone looks to him as some spiritual leader, if only they knew, but God knows. Jesus, I’m so sorry…
It’s 2 AM. The silent breathing in the next room turns to a muffled cry. “I so wish I hadn’t had him…” She catches herself…again. How can she feel this way. She wanted a baby, no THEY wanted a baby. But now, after the accident she’s alone to tend to the house, the finances, everything. The guilt she bears towards her child overwhelms here. ‘If only.’ “God how can I…”
During those deepest, darkest times of your life he hears the groans of your heart; the groans no one else knows about. The feelings you would never be able to tell anyone.
Those regrets? He hears them.
The guilt and shame? He sees the scars.
The fear and worry? Knows about that too.
No matter who you are. No matter where you are in life. Whether you are a successful businessman, a highly esteemed ministry, a best selling author or a homeless person looking for the next fix. You have those feelings, those inner groanings of the soul that you bear alone. They can attack at night, in broad daylight, during times of celebration and times of grief. Sometimes your human soul can’t even find the words to express the emotion you feel.
It’s during those times that your Heavenly Father longs to come by your side. God understands the language of half words. He knows the feelings interrupted with sighs, and interprets them as the breaths of a broken heart. Not only does he hear your broken thoughts, he has promised to never judge, never condemn, never get his ‘shocked look.’
Don’t allow the guilt, the worry, or the weakness of your soul deceive you into thinking God doesn’t care. He cares deeply and knows your thoughts before you think them.
PRAYER: Father, I praise you for the promise you have made to stay by my side. I’ve pushed you away at times. I’ve rebelled and stumbled in my weakness. I have feelings, doubts and fears I can’t express to my closest friends. I thank you that you hear me and love me. Amen.