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The worst of my fears has come true, what I’ve dreaded most has happened. Job 3:25 (The Msg)
Ever gone through day or a period in your life when absolutely EVERYTHING seems to go wrong? I don’t just mean little things like burning your toast in the morning, being late to work because you were stuck in traffic or having a flat tire on the interstate in a driving rain.
These are difficult things to go through but nothing compared to Job. He’d lost his children, his wealth, the position of respect in his community and his health. Even his wife had withdrawn from him at his deepest time of need. He was all alone and in physical, emotional and spiritual agony. To top things off he had three visitors who claimed to be friends. They took on the self-appointed position of judge, pointing out all the things that they knew about how ‘wrong Job was’!
While few of us have ever gone through the devastation Job endured there are times in our lives when things are so bad that we are unsure that we will be able to go on. The death of a dearly loved family member or friend; the end of a relationship in which you thought ‘everything was fine’; financial collapse; watching a loved one die of some disease, or finding out you are dying from some disease. All of these and more can cause us to lose all hope in ourselves, God or others.
While there aren’t any easy, quick fixes to the pain and despair that life deals us, there are a few things that may help ease the pain for a time.
- Don’t instantly blame yourself. Job lived a nearly perfect life in God’s eyes yet endured unheard of pain. Take stock of the situation. Sometimes we have to admit that the things we are going through are consequences to our own choices. Ask Jesus to forgive you for your part and to give you strength to make it through the time of ‘discipline’ we call consequences.
- Realize that sometimes the pain we go through has nothing to do with us. It could be God’s way of strengthening us for the challenges we face tomorrow. It could be God’s way of empowering us to help those who have gone through similar devastation.
- Listen carefully to friend’s advice and measure it up against what you know. Sometimes even the most well-meaning friends are just plain wrong! Even pastors and spiritual leaders can be wrong sometimes. True, Christ-following friends won’t be critical or harsh. They will love you and support you and gently walk with you through the darkness.
- Don’t just go looking for people to agree with you. But remember that it is God who judges and He alone knows the reason for your pain. Continue to grow in your relationship with Him. Don’t abandon Him. In the darkest night He is the only true light.
- Most importantly, in spite of your pain and anger and despair, don’t turn your back on God. Even though things seem impossibly painful God DOES love you and has the power to see you through anything, ANYTHING life throws at you. Talk to Him. Read His love letter to us (the Bible). Ask Him for wisdom and strength to make it through life’s challenges.
PRAYER: Dear Jesus. I’m about at the end of my strength. I’ve even thought of just ending it all because I’m not sure I can go on. You say you are there and I want to believe it but sometimes the darkness is too overwhelming. Please help me to see you in all this. Empower me through your Holy Spirit to sense the peace and love that passes all understanding. Right now I need to feel your love. Amen.
So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace. Romans 8:6 (NLT)
There are times in our lives when God seems far from us. Prayers seem to go unanswered. Relationships fail or flounder at best. We can’t seem to control our nasty sin habits. It seems like all of life is going down the tubes.
God loves each of us very much. He loved us enough to send His Son Jesus to die as an innocent man so that we can be forgiven. No matter how many times you fail, no matter how many times you make wrong choices that hurt you or those you love, He will always welcome you back.
That’s the good news. So why is it that even those of us who strive to follow Christ in each aspect of our lives have such a struggle with peace and resisting sin?
The problem lies with our mind. Our mind is a powerful thing that can control how we think about ourselves, others and God. If we allow ourselves to dwell on our failures and our sin, we will never break those habits.
If we allow ourselves to constantly think about the things others have done to us we will never be free to forgive and to move on with life. Forgiveness isn’t for the person that wronged us. Forgiveness is for our freedom!
If we let our desires, lusts and self esteem be controlled by our own desires we will continue to live a life of defeat and frustration.
Not only is the mind powerful, it’s trainable. But it takes lots of work and lots of prayer. Begin each day with a resolve that you will focus only on what God wants in your life. Ask His help in keeping you pure from the thoughts, frustrations and anger that keep you entrapped. Surround yourself with trusted, Christ-following friends that will support you, celebrate your victories and understand your failings.
We live in defeat as followers of Jesus Christ because we allow our minds to be guided and controlled by our own sinful nature and not the powerful, loving, Holy Spirit of God.
PRAYER: Holy God, I come to you today admitting that I’m frustrated and angry with my inability to live the life I want to live. I want your life and peace to control me on one hand, but on the other hand I want my own selfish desires to be satisfied. I live in guilt and shame knowing that I fail You and others so often and you are so willing to take me back. Please forgive me. Help me to start each day with the resolve to live in your peace. Empower me with the wisdom and power of Your Holy Spirit to live one day, one moment at a time learning to control my mind for you. Bring people and healthy relationships into my life that will draw me to You. Amen.
Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close. Psalm 27:10 (NLT)
There lies in the heart of each of us a desire to be loved and to be wanted. That inner confidence that we know we are needed and that if we were gone, someone would miss us. The peace of knowing someone cares and that when everyone else turns their back on us, there is at least one person we can turn to for a heartfelt hug, a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear.
For many of people that’s what family is for. Family is that one foundation, that one cornerstone that throughout history has proven itself to be the most consistent, reliable and faithful place to find love, acceptance and understanding.
Friends move or find other interests. Marriages, some of which have lasted almost half a century, end in divorce and send children of any age reeling and seeking answers. Illnesses, emotional distress, financial ruin, greed all take their toll. But family is always supposed to be there for us.
In David’s Psalm of praise (Psalm 27) he recounts the many ways that God can be trusted and praised. Friends can fail us. We have adversaries that seek our demise. Brothers can turn on you and tell you how embarrassed they are to have you as a sibling. Sometimes even parents can turn their backs on you when you don’t meet up to their own lofty expectations.
But God is there. Have you ever been in a crowd of people you know and still feel lonely? Have you ever reached out for someone to talk to and found everyone too busy to really listen? Have you ever made a decision that was so repulsive that even your family excludes you from their circle?
Know this. Your Heavenly Father hears your cries in the night even when it seems your prayers don’t go past the ceiling. During those lonely times He feels the same knot in your stomach. His heart sinks when He sees how you are treated. No one. Not friends, family, your lover, no one understands like Jesus. He is your friend in the midst of the darkest hour.
PRAYER: Dear Jesus. There are times in my life when I’m so full of loneliness and despair that I’m not sure I can go on. No one seems to understand me or listen to me or care if I’m even around. There are times I confess I don’t even think you care. Help me this day to know that you love me with all the scars, with all the bruises, with all the issues that pull me down. I love you. Help me to feel your love. Amen.
Mike Fisk & Built with Grace 