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Do not be bitter or angry or mad. Never shout angrily or say things to hurt others. Never do anything evil. Ephesians 4:31 (CEV)
A few years back now a building was constructed on a vacant lot near where I worked. Shortly after its completion, people in the building complained about headaches, bad smells and frequent illnesses. Further investigation showed that somehow in the construction process black mold had begun to grow.
Efforts to solve the problem were fruitless and within just a couple years of its completion the health department was forced to condemn the building. It was demolished and turned into a parking lot!
Bitterness is like the black mold in that building. It can go unnoticed for a period of time. It grows in places we don’t think to look. It can start growing at the slightest infraction.
Bitterness can happen when a friend says one small thing that we take the wrong way. It can happen when some guy we don’t even know cuts us off on the interstate or a co-worker is using the copier and we are in a hurry to get something copied. It happens in churches when the pastor makes a comment or preaches a sermon that steps on a few toes.
It doesn’t matter where bitterness starts, if bitterness goes unchecked it can be a relationship breaker. Bitterness launches a two-pronged attack on our relationships. First of all, like black mold it eats away at us on the inside. It robs us of our joy, our self-esteem and our ability to be intimate with people. We sink further inward and become angry. Our lives are motivated by a judgmental and critical spirit. Bitterness not only destroys families and friendships, it can destroy your health.
If caught in time, there are ways to stop or at least lessen the results of black mold in a building before it becomes uninhabitable. If caught in time the effects of bitterness can be removed and relationships prevented or restored.
The first step to making sure bitterness isn’t a part of your life is to identify the real reason for your bitterness. Many times the things that cause bitterness in our soul can be traced to things that attack our view of ourselves. Take whatever it is to Jesus.
Remember you are God’s special creation. Nothing that comes into your life happens for without a reason. God allows things that can cause bitterness to come into our lives to help us grow stronger, not to destroy us.
Lastly, ask forgiveness for your angry and bitter spirit. Begin today to rid your life of those dark corners of anger and bitterness that can destroy relationships around you.
PRAYER: Father God, lately I find myself getting angry over the smallest things. I blame others, say things I don’t mean to say and push people I love away. Please help me see what it really is that is making me so bitter. Forgive me for my anger. Empower me with your spirit to avoid bitterness and repair damaged or broken relationships. In your name I pray, Amen.
And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven like a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. Revelation 21:2(NLT)
There is nothing so stunning as the bride as she walks down the aisle. We all stand as she enters. All eyes are on her. Even those of us guys who maintain our stoic ‘masculine’ image will admit in our honest times, that we are taken back by the moment.
The groom watches her enter. His face mesmerized by her beauty. To him, there’ s no one else in the room. In fact, both the groom and the bride, when their eyes meet are taken out of this world for a moment. They are the only two in the whole world that matters. She is the most important thing in his life at that moment. He is the prince of her dreams.
The moment is filled with hope and passion. Those of us lucky enough to look on remember our own weddings or the dreams we have of one day, walking that aisle or watching the one we love come to us in radiance.
What a marvelous picture of hope, expectation and passion. How fitting that this is the picture the Word of God gives of us as the church meeting the object of our passion: Jesus of Nazareth. Regardless of how we or others view ourselves, He views us as the groom views the bride. We are spotless, pure, perfect in every way, the object of his passion. Forever.
Not one of us has ever walked that aisle or waited at the front of the room without believing that this was it, this was the happily ever after, this was the ‘til death do us part.’ Even those of us who have experienced the painful reality of divorce entered that relationship believing that this was the ‘one for us.’
The difference is, this relationship with Jesus…it never will end. We are his and his forever. Every day, when we get out of bed, no matter how bad we look in the mirror, he sees us as his radiant bride, the object of his passion. He smiles whenever he looks at us. He pauses constantly to think of us. We are always on his mind. This marriage relationship will never grow old, never be taken for granted, never lose the passion of that wedding day.
What a glorious feast that will be! Now we struggle. We rebel. We endure the pain of broken relationships, financial hardship and political turmoil. In the midst of our struggle, even during those times we can’t see Jesus clearly, he sees us…and smiles.
PRAYER: Dear Jesus, I have a hard time imagining the fact of your passionate love for me. My love is so often shallow and built on performance. Relationships here on earth are marked by trouble and calamity. They grow cold and even die. Thank you that you always see me with the passion of a groom on his wedding day. In your name, Amen.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. Psalm 34:18 (NLT)
Tragedy brings people together. Earthquakes, tornadoes, hurricanes and the devastation of conflict or famine awaken a part of us that says, “I’ll help you”. Those motivate to help aren’t limited to social class, race or ethnic groups or religious orientation. In fact, sometimes those who are the most financially insecure are the ones who will give more (percentage-wise) than the wealthy.
All of that is good, but sometimes the biggest hurts people experience are the ones where they suffer alone. A broken heart doesn’t show itself in public. We’ve learned how to hide that behind a false smile, and various activities like drugs, new relationships, political and social action or even religion. Some people spend their entire lives doing ‘things’ to try to cure the pain of a broken heart.
Perhaps one of the hardest things to deal with in relation to a broken heart is that we often suffer alone. Oh, we have friends and neighbors who bring food and comfort during times of mourning and illness. There’s often community and government help to rebuild houses and businesses destroyed by natural disaster. But while that may help soothe the pain, it doesn’t cure the pain.
All the food and all the human comfort and all the financial support in the world won’t heal a broken heart. That’s where Jesus comes in. Well meaning friends and compassionate governments can restore physical property, but only Jesus can come alongside you and completely understand your pain. He may not remove the obstacles in your life, but he can give strength to endure in the battle.
It was Jesus who stood beside the mom who’d lost her daughter. It was Jesus who wept over the death of a dear friend. It was Jesus who stood by the desperate father of a demon-possessed, seizure stricken little boy. It was Jesus who brought hope to the woman at the well, a victim of broken relationships, who’d not only had five husbands, but after five divorces she could no longer take the chance of failing again. It was Jesus who provided the food for over 5,000 hungry men, women and children. He calmed storms, gave hope to the crippled and restored those victimized by religious intolerance.
What is your struggle today? What pain are you hiding because no one else understands? Jesus Christ promises to come along side you. He understands your pain like no one else. He alone can bring peace in the midst of your storm.
PRAYER: Dear Jesus. Although I’m smiling on the outside for the world to see, my soul aches today. No one understands how I feel. I’m afraid to share my true feelings with those around me for fear of being misunderstood. Thank you for understanding me. Comfort me in my distress. In your name I pray, Amen.
What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us Romans 8:31
There are times in life when we feel the whole world is against us. The alarm doesn’t go off and we’re late for an important meeting; the kids miss the school bus and sets our entire schedule for the day off by one hour; the doctor brings us a report that drives us to our knees; the phone call in the middle of the night and the following trip to the morgue. Life can be more than we can handle.
Even as an adult there are times when I long for the ability to just ‘let mom and dad take care of it’!
Sometimes people let us down and the relationship we thought would stay passionate forever turns cold and full of hate. We hurt someone deeply (and unintentionally) and not only do they refuse to forgive us, they spread the word to others of our thoughtless deed.
Where do you turn in times like that? Some turn to external comfort like drugs or alcohol. That usually leads to more problems. Others change relationships or jobs hoping that this time the disappointment and loneliness won’t come, or if it does, it won’t hurt so badly. We can spend our lives blaming others and building walls of anger and bitterness. We turn inside ourselves and become silent time bombs ready to explode at the next infraction in our lives.
Wouldn’t it be nice if you had one person to stand beside you? One person who could stand with you against all the odds and support you in the good and the bad? Someone who loved you and understood that you are doing the best you can. Someone who wouldn’t seek revenge for your faults?
Here’s the good news. You have someone like that. Think for a moment on the four little words in today’s verse ‘God is for us’. Personalize it now, change just one small word.
God is for ME. Let that thought melt the calluses of your heart. Allow it to soften the pain of rejection and frustration. Let it be as soothing oil on the open wounds of your soul.
GOD IS FOR YOU. Regardless of how you got to the place you are in life-God is for you. Regardless of the failures you’ve done-God is for you. No matter how many people are against you-God is for you. Regardless of how many changes are occurring in your life (for the good or the bad)-God is for you.
And, if the God of the universe is for you. If he is the one holding your hand and walking by your side. Who or what can possibly keep us from being all we were meant to be.
PRAYER: Father God. There are days when life seems stacked against me. There are bills to pay, fires to fight and trials to endure. There are times when I am so happy with my accomplishments and no one takes the time to notice. Thank you that you are here with me. Thank you for being for me today as I go through all life has for me. In Jesus name, Amen.
Mike Fisk & Built with Grace 