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Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy. Proverbs 14:10
An old Native American saying goes something like this: “Never judge a man until you have walked two miles in his moccasins.” This saying should be the battle cry of each of us as we travel life’s journey. We should think twice, or even three times before we judge the attitudes and actions of other people. We may not like what we see. We may disagree completely with their response to events in their lives. But we should never make a judgment about why they are doing what they do.
God wired each of us differently. Parents know this. What other explanation is there for the way their children grow up? Two lives brought into the world by the same parents. Both have the same opportunities. Both have the same background experiences. Yet one child will grow up angry and the other patient and kind; one child will be a people person while the other is more of a social misfit; One will follow the rules while the other will seek every chance they get to break them; one will love and serve God while the other will reject faith.
No one reacts the same exact way to any situation. Yet we tend to expect that of people. If God works one way in your life, you expect Him to work the same way in someone else’s life. You may enjoy working with your hands while someone else enjoys office work or computer work. Is one better than the other? Is one more rewarding? To you maybe, but not to someone else.
Proverbs 14:10 reminds us of two great truths for Christ-followers. First of all, take great care in how you respond or react to someone’s actions or attitudes. You may see them as being inappropriate and they may be. But until you know the whole story, don’t assume you know the reason someone acts the way they do.
Secondly, remember that God knows your heart. Just as He expects us to be patient and understanding with those around us, He is patient and understanding towards us. He knows, better than anyone else, why you are struggling with whatever issue is troubling you today. He understands and desires to come close to you so that he can love you and encourage you.
There is a third lesson to learn from this proverb. The last phrase says: “no one else can share its joy”. There will be times when people will fail to understand why you are so happy. They may try to dispel that joy by pointing out the darkness and turmoil around you. Don’t allow them to keep you from living a life full of happiness and fulfillment. Joy isn’t about surroundings and circumstances. Joy is about inner peace that is only received through a relationship with Jesus Christ.
Your Heavenly Father loves you. Others will say they understand you, but God really does understand you. His sincere and passionate desire is for relationship with you. Don’t let others rob you of all that God has for you. Focus on Him. Your troubles may not disappear, but the inner peace you gain through Jesus will empower you through life’s distress.
PRAYER: Dear God. There are so many people telling me how I should feel. They tell me they understand, but they don’t. They aren’t even close. I thank and praise you for the truth that you do love me and understand me. You look on my heart and see my every emotion. You understand why I am the way I am. Guard me from losing the joy that I have in you. Protect me from those who want to rob me of my joy. Amen.
When the days of mourning had passed, Joseph said to Pharaoh’s court, “If I have found favor in your eyes, speak to Pharaoh for me. Tell him, ‘My father made me swear an oath and said, “I am about to die; bury me in the tomb I dug for myself in the land of Canaan.” Now let me go up and bury my father; then I will return.’ “ Genesis 50:4-5
Yet another chapter in the life of Joseph had come to an end. He’d enjoyed living within the blessing of his father in a large family. He’d experienced the humiliation of being rejected by his own brothers and sold as a common slave. He’d lived through years of suspicion as a result of false accusations. He’d struggled through the stress of leading an entire nation through difficult economic times as a result of a major drought. Egypt became a great nation because of the honest and generous dealings of Joseph. He’d rejoiced in the reconciliation of his family.
Now, his father Jacob had died. The death of a father is never easy. It doesn’t matter if it is early in life or during adulthood. Losing dad is tough. Even when a father has been abusive, absent or alienated that loss is traumatic.
After Jacob died and the mourning rituals were complete it was time for him to be laid to rest. As he was dying he’d asked Joseph for one thing, to be laid to rest in his homeland, the land of his father Abraham, Canaan.
Joseph had always been a man of his word. This time would be no exception. Gaining special permission and the blessing of Pharaoh, Joseph and a large contingent of his family went to Canaan for the burial.
This was no small task, nor was it an ordinary request. Yet it was granted gladly by Pharaoh. Joseph was a major figure in the government of Egypt. To let him go with a large group of people had mutiny and political threat written all over it. Still, he was granted that favor. Why?
Joseph was allowed to go bury Jacob because throughout his life Joseph had proven to be a man of integrity. In all of his business dealings he’d proven that he could be trusted and that he was a man of his word.
Secondly, Joseph lived in a land where many gods were worshipped. Even though the Egyptians didn’t follow Jehovah God as the people of Jacob did, they were impressed with the honesty, the hard work and the devotion of God’s people.
Joseph gained the respect of those around him because he was devoted first to God and then to his neighbor. It wasn’t until long after Joseph died that the Egyptian government turned against God’s people. His testimony lived on for many years.
Each of us, as Christ-followers, can take a lesson from the life of Joseph. We are being constantly watched and scrutinized by those around us to see if our faith really makes a difference in our lives. Can we be trusted? Do we do what we say we’ll do? Are our business dealings honest? Are we someone that can be counted on to offer support emotionally, physically or spiritually to anyone regardless of what they have done to us?
Few of us have had the life that Joseph had. We’ve not been in prison, sold as slaves or rejected by family. Few of us have stayed the course and remained people of integrity as well. Our past mistakes don’t matter to God. He can use you no matter what you have done.
PRAYER: Jehovah God when I look at the life of Joseph I’m both amazed and embarrassed. I’ve not suffered to the extent he did, yet I’ve made some pretty stupid decisions that have kept me from being the man/woman of integrity I know you want me to be. I ask that you forgive me for the times I didn’t stand strong. Empower me to live more fully for you so that your love may flow out to those around me. I ask this for your sake and in the name of your son Jesus Christ. Amen.
Jesus replied, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.” Luke 9:62
There are certain stories in the Bible that require us to take a double take. When Abraham’s nephew Lot and his family were rescued by angels, they were told not to look back. When Lot’s wife stole a glance at the destruction going on in Sodom and Gomorrah she became a pillar of salt. God showed no mercy in this situation. We can’t really blame Lots wife from taking a look back. The fire that fell that day destroyed the lives of her family and friends. But God’s command was clear. Move on. No matter how much it hurts, it costs to follow me.
Thousands of years later, the Apostle Paul writes to the church in Philippi, “Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13-14. In the preceding verses what is he talking about? Suffering and sacrificing of all things.
One day Jesus was walking along the road. People came and proclaimed their intention to follow Him, but each one had a pre-requisite. Each had an area of their lives they wanted to hold back from Him. Theirs was not a complete allegiance but a convenient arrangement for their own good.
Grace is NOT free. Grace costs and costs dearly. It is free for us to take hold of, but that is only because the payment has been made on the Cross and is finalized through the empty tomb. Following Jesus isn’t easy. If anyone tells you that if you turn your life over to Jesus all your troubles will disappear….RUN! Following Christ may be the start of struggle.
First, you may be misunderstood by others. When you say you are a Christ-follower people may automatically assume that means you are perfect. Christ followers are NOT perfect. We are however forgiven. We may suffer, but our suffering is never as great as the suffering Jesus did for us on the cross. His suffering was physical (death) and emotional (deserted by family and friends) and spiritual (forsaken by God “My God, My God, Why have you forsaken me?”).
The second area of struggle may be the struggle of our own self-image. It’s human to base your self-worth on what you do for a living, the decisions you’ve made in the past, the opinions of others. It’s human, but not Christ-like. Our self-worth, our heritage and our future are not based on anything we can do in life. Who we are and what we are to become is based solely on who Jesus is and what we allow Him to accomplish during our short stay on this earth.
What do you need to walk away from today to sell out completely to Jesus? Is it a job? A Relationship? A habit? A church? Nothing on this earth is worth risking your walk with Jesus. Only through Him will you be able to break free.
The good news is that Jesus looks on the heart. He knows our faults. He knows our struggles. He knows our desires. He knows how hard it is to break free. That’s why He patiently, lovingly and graciously empowers us through His Holy Spirit to move towards freedom and complete dependence on Him. Paul finishes his Philippians statement by saying, “Forgetting the past…I press on.”
Press on today in your walk with Jesus. Ask Him to show you what needs to be released. Trust Him to give you the power to let go for Him.
PRAYER: Heavenly Father, this verse is a hard one for me. I know there are areas in my life that I’m not ready to give up to You. Please forgive me for that and help me to wisely and in the power of your Spirit, move towards complete dependence on You. Keep me from looking back. Help me to always see you before anyone or anything else. Amen.
But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.” Mark 11:25-26 (NLT)
It’s tucked away, almost hidden, within Jesus’ teaching on prayer. The disciples were looking for answers. Jesus had just stated that using the power of prayer the disciples had the ability to move mountains. Then, almost as though He read their minds He answered a question that hadn’t been answered.
It’s as if one (or more) of the disciples was thinking: “I pray. I have faith in you. I believe. I don’t want to move mountains. I just want to understand my kids!” Jesus tells them that to have real power, to see God move mightily in your life and in the lives of others around you, here is the secret. Forgive.
Unresolved conflict and anger bind us and our prayer lives. When we harbor grudges, judgmental attitudes and a critical spirit against someone else it keeps Gods power from manifesting itself through us.
It’s interesting to note what Jesus doesn’t say in this passage. He doesn’t tell the disciples to “Go and have a conversation with the person and tell them you forgive them.” His statement concerns His followers DURING their prayer time. While they are praying, during the very process of their time with the Heavenly Father, forgive.
Forgiving others does not condone what they have done to you. If you have been abused, especially emotionally, the abuser won’t admit to anything anyway. It doesn’t require any action on the part of the perpetrator of your wound.
Forgiveness of others is between you and God. No one else needs to be involved. While there may be times when God will eventually lead you to confront the person you need to forgive, it really is an agreement between you and your Heavenly Father to release yourself from their grip of hate, anger or pain.
Forgiveness frees you. When you are angry at someone, it could be because of some intentional act on their part, or something that they did unintentionally, it causes a wound that refuses to heal. Forgiveness is a healing salve that comforts and soothes. Forgiveness is for your benefit, not the benefit of anyone else.
Forgiveness is humanly initiated, yet supernaturally accomplished. Sometimes the pain we endure is so great that we have to come to the Father over and over again to confess our inability to let go of the pain that was caused. The first step to healing is to confess our pain and anger to God and ask Him to empower you to forgive. From that point forward it is His working in you, and in the situation to free you from the horrific bondage of a wounded soul.
Forgiveness takes time. It isn’t some magic oil that you apply once to the wound and it’s gone. When you bear a grudge or have been hurt in some way it is like a physical wound, in some cases worse than that. Just as the wound take time to heal, forgiveness takes time to work its way through the pain. Be patient. Don’t allow the abuse or mistakes of your past to imprison you. Let the healing salve of forgiveness free you for all God has in store.
PRAYER: Heavenly Father. I never thought I’d have to admit to you that I harbor hatred towards others. Some of my hatred is because of what has been done to my loved ones. Some of it is because of direct or indirect attacks from others. Some of it, I confess, is a result of my inability to remember that I’m your child and I’ve allowed others to attack who I am in you. Help me to forgive. Empower me with your Spirit today to free myself from the prison others have me in. Show me grace so that I can show it to others. Thank you for loving me. Amen.
Praise the LORD. Blessed is the man who fears the LORD, who finds great delight in his commands. His children will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed. Psalm 112:1-2
A tree is known by its fruit. If you walk up to an apple tree there is little chance you will find an orange! Peach trees will not deliver grapefruit! Cherry trees make lousy pear trees. It is both humbling and exciting to realize that according to scripture, just as trees produce fruit according to their heritage, fathers have a huge effect on the way their children turn out.
While it is true that there are some exceptions, in most cases the faith a father exhibits will eventually be shown in the lives of his children. A man that holds tightly to the word of God and builds a relationship with Jesus Christ will have a much better chance to see his children follow in the heritage of faith he leaves behind.
The Psalmist clearly states that the man who ‘finds great delight’ in what God has to say will see his children greatly bless the land. As fathers, each of us is responsible to make sure we are in God’s word daily and praying regularly and specifically for our families. Our children need male role models to show them the importance of daily communication with God. Healthy physical relationships will not happen unless we have first taken care of building a healthy spiritual relationship with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
While Psalm 112 is clear about the necessity of following God’s word for the sake of our children, it is interesting to ‘see’ what isn’t mentioned. There is no mention of the importance of forcing our children to follow a certain set of religious dogmas and/or traditions. In fact, there is no mention of us forcing our children to do anything. The implication is that they learn the importance of walking with God by our example, by the words we speak and the way we treat others, especially their mother.
Another thing that isn’t mentioned here is that we as parents, especially fathers here, are not responsible for making sure our children conform to the mold we have determined they should follow. Our mission as fathers is to provide as many healthy experiences for our children as possible so that they can develop healthy, well rounded lives through diverse experiences.
Being a successful father has nothing to do with the job you have, the amount of money you make, the church you attend or the number of toys in your yard. Being a successful father is measured simply by the relationship you have with God and how that plays out in the lives of your children.
PRAYER: Father God. I thank you for being the ultimate example of fatherhood for me. I confess to you that I’ve let my relationship with you slip and as a result I’ve put my children in danger of spiritual harm. Forgive me for my apathy and distractions. Empower me to draw close to you so that my children will see an example of You in my life through love, grace and patience with them and others. In Jesus name, Amen.
Mike Fisk & Built with Grace 