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But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.” Mark 11:25-26 (NLT)
It’s tucked away, almost hidden, within Jesus’ teaching on prayer. The disciples were looking for answers. Jesus had just stated that using the power of prayer the disciples had the ability to move mountains. Then, almost as though He read their minds He answered a question that hadn’t been answered.
It’s as if one (or more) of the disciples was thinking: “I pray. I have faith in you. I believe. I don’t want to move mountains. I just want to understand my kids!” Jesus tells them that to have real power, to see God move mightily in your life and in the lives of others around you, here is the secret. Forgive.
Unresolved conflict and anger bind us and our prayer lives. When we harbor grudges, judgmental attitudes and a critical spirit against someone else it keeps Gods power from manifesting itself through us.
It’s interesting to note what Jesus doesn’t say in this passage. He doesn’t tell the disciples to “Go and have a conversation with the person and tell them you forgive them.” His statement concerns His followers DURING their prayer time. While they are praying, during the very process of their time with the Heavenly Father, forgive.
Forgiving others does not condone what they have done to you. If you have been abused, especially emotionally, the abuser won’t admit to anything anyway. It doesn’t require any action on the part of the perpetrator of your wound.
Forgiveness of others is between you and God. No one else needs to be involved. While there may be times when God will eventually lead you to confront the person you need to forgive, it really is an agreement between you and your Heavenly Father to release yourself from their grip of hate, anger or pain.
Forgiveness frees you. When you are angry at someone, it could be because of some intentional act on their part, or something that they did unintentionally, it causes a wound that refuses to heal. Forgiveness is a healing salve that comforts and soothes. Forgiveness is for your benefit, not the benefit of anyone else.
Forgiveness is humanly initiated, yet supernaturally accomplished. Sometimes the pain we endure is so great that we have to come to the Father over and over again to confess our inability to let go of the pain that was caused. The first step to healing is to confess our pain and anger to God and ask Him to empower you to forgive. From that point forward it is His working in you, and in the situation to free you from the horrific bondage of a wounded soul.
Forgiveness takes time. It isn’t some magic oil that you apply once to the wound and it’s gone. When you bear a grudge or have been hurt in some way it is like a physical wound, in some cases worse than that. Just as the wound take time to heal, forgiveness takes time to work its way through the pain. Be patient. Don’t allow the abuse or mistakes of your past to imprison you. Let the healing salve of forgiveness free you for all God has in store.
PRAYER: Heavenly Father. I never thought I’d have to admit to you that I harbor hatred towards others. Some of my hatred is because of what has been done to my loved ones. Some of it is because of direct or indirect attacks from others. Some of it, I confess, is a result of my inability to remember that I’m your child and I’ve allowed others to attack who I am in you. Help me to forgive. Empower me with your Spirit today to free myself from the prison others have me in. Show me grace so that I can show it to others. Thank you for loving me. Amen.
Praise the LORD. Blessed is the man who fears the LORD, who finds great delight in his commands. His children will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed. Psalm 112:1-2
A tree is known by its fruit. If you walk up to an apple tree there is little chance you will find an orange! Peach trees will not deliver grapefruit! Cherry trees make lousy pear trees. It is both humbling and exciting to realize that according to scripture, just as trees produce fruit according to their heritage, fathers have a huge effect on the way their children turn out.
While it is true that there are some exceptions, in most cases the faith a father exhibits will eventually be shown in the lives of his children. A man that holds tightly to the word of God and builds a relationship with Jesus Christ will have a much better chance to see his children follow in the heritage of faith he leaves behind.
The Psalmist clearly states that the man who ‘finds great delight’ in what God has to say will see his children greatly bless the land. As fathers, each of us is responsible to make sure we are in God’s word daily and praying regularly and specifically for our families. Our children need male role models to show them the importance of daily communication with God. Healthy physical relationships will not happen unless we have first taken care of building a healthy spiritual relationship with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
While Psalm 112 is clear about the necessity of following God’s word for the sake of our children, it is interesting to ‘see’ what isn’t mentioned. There is no mention of the importance of forcing our children to follow a certain set of religious dogmas and/or traditions. In fact, there is no mention of us forcing our children to do anything. The implication is that they learn the importance of walking with God by our example, by the words we speak and the way we treat others, especially their mother.
Another thing that isn’t mentioned here is that we as parents, especially fathers here, are not responsible for making sure our children conform to the mold we have determined they should follow. Our mission as fathers is to provide as many healthy experiences for our children as possible so that they can develop healthy, well rounded lives through diverse experiences.
Being a successful father has nothing to do with the job you have, the amount of money you make, the church you attend or the number of toys in your yard. Being a successful father is measured simply by the relationship you have with God and how that plays out in the lives of your children.
PRAYER: Father God. I thank you for being the ultimate example of fatherhood for me. I confess to you that I’ve let my relationship with you slip and as a result I’ve put my children in danger of spiritual harm. Forgive me for my apathy and distractions. Empower me to draw close to you so that my children will see an example of You in my life through love, grace and patience with them and others. In Jesus name, Amen.
The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. Psalm 103:13 (NLT)
One of the reasons we, as parents, can at times become exasperated with our children is that we fear they will make the same harmful decisions we made when we were young. It’s as if, as we are growing up, there is this voice inside of us saying, “My kid will never do this!” We enter adult life with all sorts of dreams about what we can become. Before long we find ourselves as parents and realize it’s too late to make those dreams on our own. To compensate for our own shortcomings we resolve that our children will not travel down the same detour in life. They will have a better life.
The Psalmist likens God to a loving father who is tender and compassionate. When we read that comparison we may see an image in our mind of a father holding an infant or walking hand in hand with a child down a quiet, softly lit forest path while flowers bloom and birds sing cheerfully in the trees. Then reality sets in and we come back to consciousness just as our teenager enters the house and announces he wrecked the car!
It’s humbling to realize that our reaction to this event is what shows our child what God is like. When we hear the statement “God is like our father.” What images come to mind? Do you see love and compassion or anger and coldness? When you think of God as your father, how does he talk to you? Does he talk with sarcasm and criticism or acceptance and encouragement?
It’s not surprising in our society that people have a misconception of what God is like. We are all wired to see our fathers as reflections of what God is like. The unfortunate fact is that fathers are human. No one, not even Jesus Christ, had a father that was perfect in every way. As a result we can see God the way our fathers were, sometimes angry, aloof, insensitive, selfish, and apathetic or the like.
- Earthly fathers may fail us, but your Heavenly Father NEVER WILL;
- Earthly fathers may leave us, but your Heavenly Father promises to always be with you;
- Earthly fathers break promises, but your Heavenly Father always does what He says He’ll do;
- Earthly fathers may become preoccupied, but your Heavenly Father always has you at the center of his attention;
- Earthly fathers may be disappointed in us; your Heavenly Father is always proud of who you are, even when you fail!
- Earthly fathers may become angry with us, your Heavenly Fathers anger is reserved for the actions of sin and the enemy of our souls;
- Earthy father’s may cheat, your Heavenly Father remains faithful to what is right.
- Earthly fathers may forget, your Heavenly Father never forgets you. He doesn’t forget birthdays or ball games or special event of your life.
- Earthly fathers may put work ahead of you, your Heavenly Father always has you in first place in His mind.
If you are struggling today with the wounds left by an earthly father who left you scarred emotionally or physically please realize your Heavenly Father longs to show you a true and loving relationship through His son Jesus christ. If you read the list above and realize how wonderful your earthly father really is thank God (and your dad) for being the man that he is.
PRAYER: Father God, I confess to you that I say you are my ‘Father’ way to flippantly without realizing what that really means. I thank you for who you are as my Heavenly Father and for always being there to lift me up, encourage me, guide me and forgive me. I pray you would help me to be a parent and child that shows others how loving you are. Amen.
The Lord gave me this message: “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:4-5 (NLT)
Medical science has certainly changed the way we look at childbirth. In years past the due date, sex of the child and its development were basically a mystery until the day of the child’s birth. Today, through the marvels of technology, we can know almost with a certainty, the sex of the baby, when it will be born and how it’s doing developmentally all while still in the womb!
I never tire of hearing first-time moms and dads tell of that first ultra-sound. Incredible. Here is this new life forming, developing, and growing right before our eyes! The parents can know a lot about this new, precious life long before it enters into our world all through the television screen.
The ability we have as humans to watch the formation of life, almost from conception, makes God’s message to Jeremiah even more amazing. To think that the God of the universe, the creator and sustainer of all life ‘knew me before He formed me’ boggles the mind.
The concept of God ‘knowing me’ is more than a casual acquaintance. Today, with the internet and a plethora of social networking possibilities, it’s possible to ‘know’ hundreds, even thousands of people without really even meeting them. We learn about them from blog posts, or home pages and websites, but never really meet them.
Even in our social circles it is becoming increasingly difficult to ‘intimately know’ those we rub shoulders with every day. Social mobility, economic strain, family concerns and other things hinder us from really knowing each other, and even then it’s humanly impossible to fully understand the complex emotions of anyone else, or ourselves for the matter.
But God tells us, here in Jeremiah and elsewhere, that He KNOWS us. God is intimately connected with our deepest desires, dreams, feelings and thoughts. He feels our pain exactly as we do. He fully understands our frustrations, our anger, and our fears like no one else in the world.
Not only does God fully understand your deepest thoughts and emotions. He made you the way you are. Sometimes people have ‘surprise babies’. Children that weren’t planned or expected. But in God’s eyes there are no ‘surprise babies’. All life is planned carefully and lovingly by His gracious hand. No mistakes. No second thoughts. No regrets. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done, where you’ve come from, who you have hurt or who has hurt you. YOU are His special creation.
As you journey through life there will be plenty of people out there that will point out your weaknesses, remind you of past failures, criticize your current situation and/or offer all sorts of advice about how you should be, what you should change, how you should dress or act. Evaluate everything they say by reminding yourself that you are God’s special creation. He made you with the feelings, emotional make-up, desires and physical traits you have. He loves you just the way you are. There may be areas that need some ‘polishing up’, some changes that need to be made. But YOU are just the person He hoped you would be.
PRAYER: Father God, I’m in awe when I think of what it means that you, the creator/sustainer of the universe knew me intimately before I was even conceived in my mother’s womb. I thank you and praise you for who I am regardless of the flaws others seem to see in me. Empower me by your Spirit to live free of the condemnation of others. Help me to remember that I am your special creation. Forgive me for the times I’ve been unfaithful to myself and to you in how I act or think. Thank you most of all for loving me when I’m not very easy to love. Amen.
Timely advice is lovely, like golden apples in a silver basket. Proverbs 25:11 (NLT)
Saying the right thing at the right time is a priceless gift each of us should strive to receive. I once knew a person who had many good ideas about how things should be done at his place of employment. The problem was that he would often make his suggestions at the worst possible moment. Usually this was during some crisis or problem when emotions were high. While his words were intended to be helpful, they would often have the effect of pouring gasoline on a fire. People would be offended and tempers would flare.
My friend’s situation may be an extreme situation but each of us has experienced the pain of words spoken at the wrong time and place. Sometimes it may have been our own words. Other times words spoken to us.
The message of Proverbs 25:11 is that advice is good and to be treasured, but we each must learn to use our words carefully, choosing the right words for the right time. One of the best ways to do this is to learn how to ‘respond and NOT react’ to a situation. Responding to a situation means we take the time to evaluate exactly what is going on and take into account the emotions of everyone involved in the situation.
When tempers are already at the boiling point or emotions are already high it is often best to wait, if possible, until things have cooled a bit before you speak. There have been times when people have said things to me that, at first, I took offense to, as though they were attacking me personally. When I’m able to step back from the situation it’s easier for me to respond in a way that is less retaliatory. If I have the proper view of who I am in Jesus, then peoples words, even if they are attacking, have less impact on me. Determine within yourself that the words of other people will not affect who I am and how I feel about myself.
Our words can also be helpful in steering people from situations and activities that could harm them. This is especially true for us as parents and grandparents. When we see our children engaging in activities that may be harmful to them it’s very important that we assure them of our love and find positive ways to ‘pass on our wisdom’. Saying things that are derogatory about our children’s/grandchildren’s activities or friends will most likely have an opposite effect that we’d hoped for. Sarcasm and critical words will steer them away from us. Saying “I told you so” will be more destructive than constructive.
Take time to actively listen to others before offering your own advice. Ask questions to make sure you understand exactly where they are coming from. Don’t allow their feelings about you, God or others to influence your reaction. How they ‘feel’ is most likely a symptom of a deeper struggle they are having within themselves. It takes time to heal those wounds. Your words can act either as a salve to soothe the wound or as salt to irritate and inflict further pain. The choice is yours.
PRAYER: Father God, Your Word constantly reminds me that my words are powerful tools or powerful weapons. There are so many times when I’m misunderstood or I say the right thing at the wrong time. I tend to react rather than respond when I’m attacked or things don’t go my way. I let other people’s words affect how I feel about myself. Please empower me with Your Holy Spirit to use the words I speak as a healing salve and to refuse to let other people’s words affect how I feel about me. I am your child. No one and no words can change that! Thank you. Amen.
